Religious taboo: masturbation

[True Dough]

What's wrong with a little self-love? It seems that it's shunned in many religions (perhaps all? I'm not a PhD on the subject).

Anyway, the Mormons strongly discourage it...

The Mormon church hates self-love.

Masturbation should be strictly banned because it can turn young people into homosexuals and criminals, the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints believes, according to a leaked guidebook issued to members.

The 1981 guidebook, released this week by the transparency group MormonLeaks, provides some insights into what many young Mormons have been taught about sexual development and homosexuality over the years.

“Early masturbation experiences introduce the individual to sexual thoughts which may become habit forming and reinforcing to homosexual interests,” the guidebook claims. “Self-masturbation is almost universal among those who engage in homosexual behavior, and is a very difficult habit for most to overcome.”

http://www.newsweek.com/masturbation-gay-leaked-mormon-church-lgtb-religion-sex-748201


They ought to call that "guidebook" a "handbook," or a "handy" for short. Then they might actually enjoy it more!

[Orange Free State]

1. I understand they also frown on coffee..

...and oral sex. When I heard that, I told my SO that if she ever left me I would not bother to look in Salt Lake City, because I knew she wouldn’t last half a day as a Mormon. She agreed.

[True Dough]

2. Ha ha!

Talk about turning to Salt...

[Kablooie]

3. You are killing thousands of potential fetuses.

A terrible sin.

[Orange Free State]

7. Well then the only thing to do...

...is put all unclaimed sperm in a container and mail it to the Mitt Romney Center. They will know what to do with them, I guess.

[MineralMan]

10. Millions, actually.

More than the population of the United States every time.

Sperm count describes the number of sperm cells in your semen. Normal sperm count ranges from 15 million to 200 million cells per milliliter of semen. Your sperm count is considered low (a condition known as oligospermia) if your semen contains fewer than 15 million sperm per milliliter, or less than 39 million sperm cells per ejaculate, according to the MayoClinic.

https://www.malefertility.md/blog/sperm-count-are-you-above-or-below-average

15-200 million sperm cells PER MILLILITER. Do you know how small a millileter of fluid actually is?

The average amount of semen that a guy releases may surprise you. According to World Health Organization (WHO) standards, the average amount of semen that a guy produces per ejaculation is a paltry 2.5 ml (for you ‘Mericans out there, that’s around half a teaspoon).

The scale of what qualifies as a “normal” amount? Between 1.5 ml (about 1/3 of a teaspoon) to 6.8 ml (roughly half a tablespoon).

https://www.dontcookyourballs.com/normal-semen-volume

[Cartoonist]

4. How do they know?

“Self-masturbation is almost universal among those who engage in homosexual behavior, and is a very difficult habit for most to overcome.”

Almost universal?
There are two types of liars in the world. One says they never masturbate. The other says they are giving it up.

[no_hypocrisy]

5. So, for Mormonism, what makes "the cut"?

Orgasm only if:

1) You're male,
2) you're married,
3) it's your wife, and
4) you're doing The Nasty for procreational purposes only?

[Pope George Ringo II]

6. No masturbation, no shellfish.

Slavery and murdering your non-virgin bride, okay.

Religion and morality really don't overlap nearly as much as the religious would have you believe because they're entirely different things.

[trotsky]

8. Hangups about sexual pleasure are common in many Christian sects.

Anything that feels good must be evil; sex should ONLY be for procreation and never just for enjoyment. One of the most fucked up attitudes that's ever cursed our species, I must say.

[MineralMan]

9. Yah...well, Mormons do it, too.

It's almost a universal thing to do. No instructions needed. People's bodies show them what to do.

Some religious people don't like any pleasurable activities. Somehow, they think that pleasure equates to sin. How odd...