Short fiction for the Third Testament

[Cartoonist]

Here's a story you may have heard.

A young man is about to graduate. There is speculation that a new car is forthcoming. On Graduation Day, his father proudly presents his son with a new Bible. The son is so disappointed that he throws the Bible down and walks out. He never sees his father again.

Many years later, his father dies. In going through the estate, he comes across the Bible given to him as a gift. He opens it and finds a piece of paper. It turns out to be a check to cover the cost of a new car.

Oh, the Heavanity!

[rug]

1. That is a sad vignette. Did you write it?

[Cartoonist]

4. Folklore

Anonymous

[safeinOhio]

2. How about this one

When I was young I wanted a new bike. I prayed and prayed and never got it. My parents told me that's not how God works and sent me to Sunday school. So, after that I stole one and asked for forgiveness.

[rurallib]

3. yours is more believable.

[NeoGreen]

7. I've seen a similar meme...

...visuals often help make the point.

[Hoppy]

5. How 'bout this.... I complained to MythGod that his design of us was wrong. He gave us two arms.

We should have had three. I pointed out that if we had three arms, we could hold packages and ring doorbells at the same time. Or we could hold packages and open doors at the same time.

He responded by giving me a bad toothache as payback for questioning him.

[NeoGreen]

6. I always wanted an invisible third arm...

Last edited Wed Apr 13, 2016, 08:04 AM - Edit history (1)

...that would be way cool.

One that could stretch or float around as needed.

I think I got the idea from a science-fiction book I read long ago.

If we really had free will, we could have all the limbs we ever wanted whenever we pleased.

Reminds me of an other story...something about a detachable p _ _ _ s.

Boy, when it comes to versatility, Myth-God™ really has let us down.

[DetlefK]

8. That detachable-penis-story... Was it about people living on some ocean-planet?

The humans on this planet are actually not humans but were created by some human ancestor (geneticist?) that is now worshipped as a saint. The story is about a guy discovering that their most central religious ritual (for gaining visions) is actually just a toxic shock leading to hallucinations.

[NeoGreen]

10. I really don't remember the story...

...but I think the author was a well respected Science-Fiction writer.

Plus, I think there was a song entitled DP too...

[DetlefK]

9. I found one a few years ago on the internet:

And there was the story of a young man who had joined the military. He was a true Christian, but the other soldiers ridiculed him for his belief and his piety.

One day, his officer and the other soldiers decided to play prank on him. They removed the engine from a car and then pushed it in front of a hall. They asked the Christian to get the car out of the way and drive it somewhere else.

Their uncouth snickering turned into shock as the Christian got into the car and drove it away. And with wailing and gnashing of teeth the unbelievers fell to their knees and praised God.

[Cartoonist]

11. Removing the engine takes work

Putting it back in is more work. That's a lot of trouble for a prank. Why not just remove the rotor?

I guess when you're making up a lie, actual thinking isn't involved.