Grief Beyond Belief

[rug]

June 23, 2014
By Adam Lee

I’ve been writing about atheism for some years now, and one of my great joys has been watching the secular community grow and thrive. Once, our main pastimes were debating philosophy on the internet and filing church-state lawsuits. Now we have political lobbying arms, atheist parenting guides, secular student clubs and summer camps, humanist communities and celebrants, and more. We’re getting closer and closer to the ideal of a true secular community whose members offer tangible support to each other at every major stage of life. But there’s one area where I think secular philosophy still hasn’t made its mark.

Thanks to medical science, we’re living longer and staying healthier than past generations could ever have imagined, and we can rescue people from injury and disease that would surely have been fatal one hundred or even fifty years ago. But at the same time, we’ve also come to a clearer recognition of the limits of our powers. The aggressive, paternalistic medical intervention that aimed to keep a person alive at all costs is largely a thing of the past, and good riddance. Instead, we’ve gotten better at dying: more hospice and compassionate care, more respect for living wills and the right to refuse treatment, and more support of assisted dying for the terminally ill.

These are all advances to be welcomed. Nevertheless, I think we atheists still cede too much ground to religion when it comes to death, especially in the area of comfort and support for the grieving. That’s probably the last redoubt that the churches have: too many people believe that religion has some advantage, some special hope or consolation to offer, when it comes to helping people deal with loss and grief. I believe that atheists can cope with death, but there’s a need for more community and philosophical resources for those of us living under that shadow.

That’s why we should welcome the brand-new relaunch of Grief Beyond Belief, an online community for nonbelievers who’ve experienced grief and loss. In this secular safe space, atheists and freethinkers can mourn, support each other and heal without thoughtless afterlife platitudes, exploitative proselytizing, and other unwanted intrusions of religion. GBB was founded in 2011 as a private Facebook group, but its evolution into an independent site will make it possible to offer more services and resources to its members. Here’s what the people behind the site have to say:

Founded by school counselor Rebecca Hensler following the death of her son, Grief Beyond Belief has been operating on Facebook for three years, providing grieving atheists, Humanists and other Freethinkers with spaces in which to share compassion and advice without the uncomfortable intrusions of prayer and proselytizing. From the page’s much-welcomed launch on Facebook in June 2011, to its surprising growth following glowing coverage in USA Today in Spring of 2012, to its expansion to a confidential Facebook support group the following fall, the community has continued to serve the growing secular population’s need for grief-support appropriate for those who do not believe in a higher power or an afterlife.

http://www.patheos.com/blogs/daylightatheism/2014/06/grief-beyond-belief/

http://www.griefbeyondbelief.org/