Report: Donald Trump Cobbles Together A Cast Of Sports Dickheads For GOP Convention

[El Supremo]

Donald Trump, a pile of faux-leather designer handbag knockoffs, has compiled a murderers’ row of sports figures for next month’s Republican National Convention in Cleveland. Bloomberg Politics reports that Mike Tyson, Mike Ditka, Bobby Knight, and NASCAR CEO Brian France have all chosen to shed whatever dignity they have left and make appearances.

Earlier this month, Trump voiced his desire to have “winners” at the convention, and said that he was “thinking about getting some of the great sports people who like me a lot.” His campaign has pulled enough strings to net a convicted rapist, a clueless CEO, and two pricks.

(snip)

Then, the assholes. There’s a bad-takes-on-Ferguson asshole, who’s also the leaves-his-cigar-on-car-seats asshole. There’s also the chair-throwing asshole, who’s also the loves-a-good-rape-metaphor asshole, as well as the enough-incidents-to-merit-a-completely-straightfaced-list-of-everything-he’s-done asshole. Maybe Trump is hoping he’ll seem better by comparison.

Bloomberg’s sources didn’t know the specific convention plans for this Mount Rushmore from a horrific alternate universe, but they claimed the list of celebrities is still growing. There’s still a chance Tom Brady, Dana White, and Ben Roethlisberger could make an appearance, though the latter seems like a long shot.

all at: http://deadspin.com/report-donald-trump-cobbles-together-a-cast-of-sports-1782784149

And Tim Tebow! http://deadspin.com/tim-tebow-will-speak-at-republican-national-convention-1783658061

[Scurrilous]

1. With Tim Tebow heading the list.

Here's Who Will Be Speaking At Donald Trump's Republican Convention0

http://www.npr.org/2016/07/14/485995405/heres-who-will-be-speaking-at-donald-trumps-republican-convention