LeBron to announce decision at United Nations

[KamaAina]

http://www.newyorker.com/online/blogs/borowitzreport/2014/07/lebron-to-announce-decision-at-united-nations.html

N.B.A. superstar LeBron James said Tuesday morning that he would announce the name of the team that he is signing with on Thursday at a special session of the United Nations General Assembly to be convened especially for that purpose.

“This decision affects everyone on the planet,” James said. “I want to let all the nations on Earth know at the same time.”

An emergency meeting of the U.N. Security Council on Tuesday was deadlocked on the issue, with seven members wanting James to remain in Miami, seven others hoping for a return to Cleveland, and Lithuania abstaining....

To help him with his decision, the N.B.A. star has assembled an esteemed circle of advisers, including Archbishop Desmond Tutu, Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg, and the scientist Stephen Hawking, all of whom are expected to be in attendance for the United Nations announcement.

[bluedigger]

1. What time, Thursday?

I'll need to revise my schedule.

[ProfessorGAC]

2. Pretty Good!

Well, ESPN is breathless over it.

[riqster]

3. Honestly, he probably wishes he'd thought of it.

[joeybee12]

4. This is not Satire...

The D-Bag really plans to do this, or, rather, he WANTS to.

[TZ]

6. I heard today that someone said

That they think there's a 90% chance that he goes back to Cleveland... I have tons of family from/living in Cleveland so I root for their teams, but I really don't want to see him go back, it's just not right

[JeffHead]

5. I thought he would do it at midfield during halftime of the world cup final.

He is going to be there and the whole world will be watching.