Grown up Kids, umph! ...

[1StrongBlackMan]

I had a huge blow-up with BabyGirl 1SBM, last night.

She makes me so proud, so much of the time; but, where do these modern kids get this, "I'm grown so I can do what I want" attitude? (Actually, I know ... but how did it come to infect MY daughter?)

All of this over her insisting that she wants a couple of ferrets ... I told her I am not going to, willingly, have rodents in my home; then, insisting that she wants a dog ... I told her we already have three, that she does not lift a finger to care for; then, last night, back to ferrets. The discussion escalated when she, tearfully, went there, "Dad, I'm 19! I'm grown! I do not have to ask your permission to do anything. I would just hope that you would support me."

I had to tell her: "If you want to be grown, you have to get out there and do what grown folks do ... support themselves. When other people are paying your bills, they have purchased the right to have a say in what you do."

[The Velveteen Ocelot]

1. Ferrets aren't rodents; they're weasels.

And they can make pretty good pets. But still, it's your house and you get to decide what sort and how many pets live in it. As long as she is living in your house she's obliged to go along with your rules; when she moves into a place of her own that she's paying for herself, then she can have dogs, ferrets, aardvarks, pterodactyls, whatever. Pretty simple, I think.

[1StrongBlackMan]

3. They LOOK like a rat ...

they SH!T like a rat ... (well, you know! )

As long as she is living in your house she's obliged to go along with your rules; when she moves into a place of her own that she's paying for herself, then she can have dogs, ferrets, aardvarks, pterodactyls, whatever.

Yep ... and she can get them two by two!

[mercuryblues]

2. LOL

I had the exact same discussion with my 20 year old a few weeks ago. He brought it out on FB and his buddies supported him.

I pretty much told him that it seems like his friends think you can do anything you want in my home. I asked them if they were willing to let him move in, pay no rent, pay his car insurance, cell phone etc...

There were no takers. So kid is still living at home rent free, with an attitude adjustment and his friends shut up real fast.

[1StrongBlackMan]

4. She, also, as some sort of "walk-off" comment ...

Said: "You guys make me feel like I am more of an investment than a daughter."

I called her back into the room and told her: "You're damned right you are an investment ... that's what parents do. We invest our resources into you our kids, with the hoped for return on our investment being, a competent, fully functioning and, hopefully, happy and secure, adult!" (I left out the part about my "You go to med school so that in my old age you can take care of me in the style I've grown accustomed to" retirement plan! )

[mercuryblues]

5. LOL

Your retirement plan sounds better than mine.

Every now and then I let the youngest have something totally unacceptable for breakfast, like ice cream. When he asks me why...
I tell him that he is the one who will make me my vodka and cranberry and change my diaper when I am old. I want you to remember this day.

[JustAnotherGen]

7. This is awesome!

Famous almost last words from my father - seriously: I'm glad you tunneled back over to the right path in life. Now apply yourself and you might even grow up someday.

Uh - I was 38 when my dad died!

[msongs]

6. your response is exactly right. with freedom comes responsibility nt

[jaysunb]

8. Typical dependent adult attitude

and very good parenting on your part.