It's getting worse

[OneGrassRoot]

This isn't a "poor me" post; honest. I'm sharing because I'm kind of surprised and because it's anecdotal evidence that things are getting worse...the tension is much higher than even six months ago.

I talk and write about racism and bigotry and Othering a lot. To me, the FB post that I've pasted below is pretty mild. I'm not swearing at anyone. I thought I was pretty darn civil in this post.

But this post is an example of others that have resulted in quite a few threats over the last couple of weeks, and in reply to this post there was a public accusation by a complete stranger that I'm a fraud and hypocrite and pushing an evil agenda and, gawd, I forget what else he said. But what he said, along with the threatening private messages and messages via my websites from multiple people reminds me sooooooo much of what happened with Glenn Beck years ago. I know it sounds lame, but I have a bit of PTSD about that still; being stalked and threatened for 5 months by various strangers wasn't fun. (I did contact authorities, especially because my daughter was still at home at the time.)

It tends to be a specific type of person: white, male, libertarian but often with an evangelical Christian belief system. The way they spew their patriarchal, authoritarian BS, telling me what to do and not to do, makes me wish they were in front of me so I could slap the shit out of them.

Anyway, I've been sensing this is all getting worse and the past two weeks have shown this in my experience. I assume that's the case for anyone who dares speak out against the realities of racism and bigotry, 'cause there's nothing special about me, though I think the fact that I'm white makes them even angrier. Yeah, I think there's something to that. A white woman. I've never been attacked by right-wing women like this. I know it's a whole thing, the misogyny online, but it's still pretty shocking to me.

There was a whole exchange following the post below in which this one stranger (friend of a friend) continued to say pretty hostile things even though I, amazingly, stayed calm and just tried to understand WTF he was talking about. Accusing me of being a hypocrite is one of the worst things people can say to me, because I try so damn hard to be introspective and self-aware in order to NOT be a hypocrite.

I don't reply to the private overt threats though. Sometimes they start off civil but as soon as I engage them, they lose it.

I'm wondering if there's anything specific in my language that you feel may be triggering so much viciousness - again? I'm not trying to piss people off, it just comes naturally evidently.



But now that I've typed this out in order to vent, I do think I trigger something visceral because I am a woman, a white woman who is a "bitch who's clueless and needs to STFU and mind your business about shit you know nothing about."

I know women of color are attacked viciously all the time, so this is nothing in comparison. But I wonder if that same group of men in question bothers to attack women of color, or if their anger is saved for white women speaking out? Hmmmm......

Regardless, it's all FUABS.

For people in favor of or indifferent about the trend of GOP/Tea Party legislation that allows discrimination because you believe all private businesses should have a right to deny service for any and all reasons if it goes against their religious beliefs (or any belief, but the umbrella "religious beliefs" makes it sound better), this is for you...

You may think it's part of a free, capitalistic society for businesses to refuse service to anyone if they even think they are gay (it's not a "lifestyle" by the way), or if they think they are "living in sin" rather than being married, or if mixed-race couples go against their beliefs, or if certain types of disabilities make them uncomfortable and they say it's due to religious beliefs, or if they don't want to serve unwed mothers, or Muslims, or people who appear to be poor or homeless, or people of color and so on and so forth.

Imagine if that happened at a private hospital and people were turned away or not treated by certain doctors because the doctor disliked something about the patient. Or if EMTs and firefighters and other first responders did the same.

You may think all of this is okay and just the way it is because, chances are you're white, Christian, heterosexual and consider yourself in the middle or upper economic class. And, chances are you think some groups of people are somehow "less than" and not indicative of the America you want to live in.

But what if your kids or grandkids are gay or have friends who are gay; what if they or their partners or friends are Muslim; what if they choose to live together before marriage; what if they fall in love with someone with black or brown skin; what if a granddaughter gets pregnant and isn't married; what if in spite of trying hard they still end up living in poverty?

Do you want your kids or grandkids to suffer humiliation - or worse -- because they are different from YOU?

Also keep in mind that this goes both ways. What if a business run by gay persons decides not to serve straight people, or businesses run by people of color refuse to serve white people and or Christians and so on and so on?

BTW, if you haven't given this scenario serious thought, that shows that being white, Christian and heterosexual is the dominant culture in the USA and always has been. It doesn't mean you're under attack; it just means that everyone else wants to be treated with the same respect and dignity most white, heterosexual, middle-to-upper-class Christians have been in our society and by our institutions. Wanting equal treatment doesn't mean anyone wants to take anything away from YOU. If you have children, are you not able to treat each child with dignity and respect, or can you only dole that out to one at a time?

Do you really want everything to be segregated again, with different water fountains for the various groups of people? You may think you don't care, but think about your kids and grandkids as I've suggested above. Think about their world.

What is going on is unconstitutional and will likely be overturned, but the fact that so many people support this and that you feel THIS is what will make America great again is narrow-minded and appalling, but not altogether surprising.

If this type of legislation doesn't bother you yet also consider yourself pro-business, I hope you're paying close attention to how much money is being lost in the states trying to set the world back 100 years.

Nothing about this is smart or civil. We can learn to appreciate our differences and even celebrate them rather than fear one another. We can also try harder not to be such greedy, fearful, bigoted asshats.

‪#?UnityinDiversity‬ ‪#?FirstWeMustCare‬

[New Orleans Strong]

1. White guy - but gay!

I think your post is so thoughtful, and sensible, and on the money. And undeserving of any - ANY - sort of backlash. Ih boy, howdy. That's we're we are... Truth is offensive. Kind truth - Boy, howdy.

[OneGrassRoot]

9. Hello there!

I really appreciate you taking the time to offer these kind words. Truly.

Yeah, speaking the truth is offensive to a lot of people. Yikes.

Nice to "meet" you.

[LiberalArkie]

2. It really everywhere. The white men getting laid off blame the blacks or women or foreigners.

As Bernie said:

“They told white workers who were earning pennies an hour, ‘Hey, you think you’re in trouble, but you’re better off than the blacks,'” he said. “And they told straight people, ‘You’re better off than those gay people.’ And they pitted men against women. It’s always playing one group against another. That’s how the rich got richer while everybody else was fighting each other. Our job is to build a nation in which we all stand together.”

That is indeed what is happening. People getting canned at work through no fault of their own, believing in the capitalist corporate system, can not believe it is the system they have worshiped all these years. It has to be SOMEONES fault but his. It is always easier to blame THEM for the problem.

Sure unemployment is going down. The $100,000 a year job is gone but there is an opening at Home Depot in the carpet department.

[kjones]

5. I know a lot of racists, sexists, and bigots in general who have jobs....good ones even.

A lot of times, the "it's about jobs" thing sounds like an after the fact excuse for their bigotry, rather than a cause.

There are a lot of rich bigots, people who don't even know the meaning of the word "work."

[LiberalArkie]

7. I would not even call them bigots, just people who had a good life and are struggling now and just

have to have someone to blame. Most of us blame the financial institutions for a lot of the problems, these people don't have the information to see what is happening, but still have to blame someone. Their kids, or wife or manager or the checkout person at the grocery store someone, anyone.

[kjones]

8. I don't know

I just know that when something bad happens to me, my first instinct isn't to
blame blacks/Mexicans/foreigners/women etc...even if I'm scared, confused,
and angry about it.
But my point was that not every person who doesn't like X group of people
feels that way because they misattributed the cause to that group.
There's a whole lot of reasons people might be bigots, "they lost their job"
is just one of them.

[OneGrassRoot]

10. Hi, kjones and LiberalArkie...

I hear what each of you is saying.

All I can speak to is my experience in having lived in various states/regions throughout the country and interacting with many different types of people. While I do believe there are people who may begrudgingly embrace bigoted behavior because their anger and feelings of life being unfair blind them and they're easily influenced by hate mongers, I also believe the vast majority of people we see behaving in a certain way held bigoted (and to be frank, supremacist) views all along.

As kjones said, even people who haven't suffered economic or other types of misfortune often have the worldview that they're superior based on the color of their skin, religion, gender, nationality, etc.

I believe it's much, much more prevalent than many people have wanted to admit, but the Trump rallies have brought it to the surface.

[kjones]

15. I suppose you can never really know people's motives

I don't know if that makes me feel better or worse :/

[rusty quoin]

16. I agree.

Working in commercial construction in the 90s when the economy was good, with so many still in unions making $30/hour, or better, everyone worked well together.

And like you, I worked in several states, and there was much less economic pressure all around.

One boss in San Diego said "if you can't find a job in this economy you're either a complete idiot or completely incompetent,"

At the same time, there were far too many racists. You'd hear them making their Mexican jokes and their black people jokes and they were rewarded with laughter. They were racists people, but they were happy racist people who chatted with the black guy on the elevator because they were chatty persons...see how I get along with everyone, but when the black guy got off, some racist thing was said.

I know these guys. Obviously I'm white and they always think it's okay that they open up to and say what they truely feel just because I'm white. But I tell you these guys always thought this way.

Now, given the wrong economy, those guys are now Trump supporters.

[Dont call me Shirley]

3. The hatred of women, all women, is exploding. Mother Earth is no exception either, the attack upon

her is worse than the attacks on all of us combined. We must stand up and put a stop to this misogynistic rampage.

[OneGrassRoot]

11. Word.

That is so true and a key aspect of what I try to convey as well.

In fact, in the same FB discussion I mentioned in my OP, there was this exchange about me using the term the "common good," which I do a lot.

He said:

You state that ‘being white, Christian and heterosexual is the dominant culture in the USA and always has been’. That would make that culture the authority on ‘the greater common good’ since it is the most common and greater in numbers? Your statement doesn't ring true; ‘I genuinely believe in making decisions with the common good’

I replied:

Actually, no, that is not correct. The common good doesn't mean the "majority good." It means taking into account what is best for the greatest number of people, INCLUDING marginalized groups of people, other creatures and the Earth herself.

Seriously, the term "common good" -- to me a very straightforward, benign term -- really triggers right-wingers. I guess they equate it with someone taking their stuff. I don't use it to trigger people; it just happens to be a descriptive term for the type of world I want to live in. I thought we had gotten beyond that term being a trigger, but evidently not.

[Dont call me Shirley]

14. Common Good = General Welfare, try that one, it's more linked to the Founding Fathers. Maybe

the misogynists won't get their boxers twisted in such knots with those words.

[Bernardo de La Paz]

4. Trump has emboldened many people including NC and Miss. legislators who should know Constitution

Peace be with you.

[OneGrassRoot]

12. Yes. I'm in NC...

and the Tea Party crowd has wreaked havoc here as they have in other states. Trump has definitely emboldened them.

Peace be with you as well.

[oldandhappy]

6. totally sane

Please do not go negative on yourself. Your comments are clear and rational and honest. There is an element loose in the community that attacks -- period. Any statement is up for an attack. You are thoughtful and careful. We all are aware of the lowering of the education levels in our country. The same has happened with the ethical awareness and social conscienceless of some folk. No matter what you say, some will misunderstand (deliberately or not) and attack. Be careful.

[OneGrassRoot]

13. Hey...

thank you for that reminder. On one hand I know someone will always contort what I say, no matter how careful I am in choosing my words; on the other hand, I do start to doubt myself, wondering if I'm missing something. I often can't see the forest for the trees.

to you.

[Number23]

17. "tends to be a specific type of person: white, male, libertarian"

These folks have ruined the Internet for women, poc, and the whole damned world. I would bet that 97% of the trolls all over the web fit that description to a T.

Those characteristics match with at least 80% of the trolls here on DU.

[OneGrassRoot]

18. Ain't that the truth...

Not only the trolls, but -- granted, not the troll aspect -- the same demographic in large part CREATED the Internet as we know it as far as the most popular sites and platforms.

I wrote about this last year: The Internet is Owned by White Dudes

http://www.democraticunderground.com/10027092022


That's why I remain super committed to gathering a group of truly diverse WOMEN to create a new way forward. The toxic online culture isn't relegated to online any more. It's just our culture now. I don't hate men. I love them. But I want to do my part in shifting things by having this diversity built into the foundation; men are welcome to participate once the foundation and vibe and culture is in place via these diverse groups of women.

9 times out of 10 when I see a business or project or organization whose mission sounds really wonderful and I want to work with them, I go to check out the "team" and it's often white men.

And I've discovered fairly recently that the Powers That Be in a lot of these organizations are very uncomfortable with how outspoken I am regarding matters of racial and social justice. I actually have the audacity to say RACISM and SEXISM and BIGOTRY. Egads!!!

It is all really driving me insane at this point. The segregation is getting much worse.

Sorry for rambling...