So the Distinction is Freedom? Really ...?

[1StrongBlackMan]

My friend was born in Canada and immgrated to the U.S. (illegally) with his father in the late 60's. After immigrating, my friend became naturalized; but his father did not, never-the-less, my friend's father started an electrical contracting firm and made quite a go of it, employing some 50+ full-time employees.

In the early 80's, straight out of high school, my friend went to work in the family business as a laborer. His father insisted that if my friend and his 3 brothers were going to be a part of the business, they would have to start at the bottom and learn the business from the ground up.

By the mid-80's, my friend had fallen out with his father (and therefore the family business) because my friend married his high school sweetheart, a girl from the wrong side of the tracks (i.e., a family history of hard drinking, drug using/selling, trailer-park dwellers). So my friend left his solidly upper middle-class home to begin his adult life, as an uneducated, unemployed family man, living in a trailer park that backed to a semi-private golf course.

My friend and his new wife had taken to pan-handling (and petty theft) outside the golf course's entrance and were literally starving to death when he met his first person of color, an African-American named James, who was working his way through college at the club. Actually, they met when James caught my friend breaking into his car.

After a long conversation, James decided not to call the police; but rather, took my friend to the club manager and convinced the manager to give, both, my friend and his wife, a job.

Over the course of the next few years, James helped my friend access the myriad of governmental programs that were available to my friend and his wife, from foodstamps and healthcare and convinced my friend to get into college, using the tuition assistance that the government provided.

In the early 90's, my friend's father fell ill and asked that my friend move to Tucson to help with the family business. Though my friend initially refused, James - now a community organizer/activist, specializing in connecting small businesses to government contracts - convinced my friend to swallow his pride and re-connect with his family. Eventually, my friend moved to Tucson and took a job in the family business, which had fallen upon bad times and was down to seven employees, my friend, his 3 brothers and their wives. However, in order to have a steady income and healthcare benefits, my friend's wife took a job as a clerical worker in the school district that my wife worked. My wife struck up a friendship with the wife, as she was kind of a fish out of water; though she had moved out of the trailer-park, she still had many of her "trailer-parkish ways." My wife, having grown up in the PJs of Brooklyn, New York, decided to take the wife under her wing and worked to smooth out some of the edges that were getting the wife into trouble on the job.

My wife started inviting the wife to lunch and the lunches grew into family cookouts. I really enjoyed this couple, as they were genuinely is warm and caring, though decidely apolitical.

During one of the cook-outs, I suggested that my friend reach out to James, as their business was going bust. James was more than accommodating ... James worked with the business (at no cost) and within a couple of months helped the business secure a city contract, a county contract and a federal contract. Because of these contracts, over the next couple of years, the business grew to over 100 employees and topped $10,000,000 in revenue.

But as the business grew, my friend drifted farther and farther to the right (as did his brothers and their families) ... His wife quit the school district, to become a stay-at-home mom, they joined a fundamentalist, evangelical christian church, he started watching fox and listening to rush. Though our relationship became more and more strained, our family cook-outs continued.

Fast forward to 2008 ... my friend's business was in trouble again - commercial and residential construction had fallen off due to the recession and due to reduced government spending, government contracts became the fewer and fewer. It became an article of faith for my friend that it was President "Obama's failed policies" that were the cause of his company's economic problems.

Yesterday (Sunday), we had what I fear will be our last family gathering. The moment we got to my friend's house, and before I had my first beer (but I'm pretty sure my friend was on his 8th or 9th), he asked whether I had seen the Chris Matthews Show, where Matthews asked a Romney Strategist to describe the difference between the two campaigns' messages. (I had) My friend accurately related that the strategist stated that the difference is in the type of world in which we wished to live. The strategist cast President Obama as a "big government machine that limits individual freedom to prosper"; and contrasted that with Romney's desire to "rid the American people of government obstructions to their freedom to prosper."

My friend was super-hyped up as he repeated all the RW talking points of government's oppression of individual freedom to prosper.

I told my friend that I found his position somewhat puzzling because, personally, I cannot think of a single obstruction to my freedom to prosper that is rooted in government; but further, his business had prospered under a system of government contracts, that the gop has steadfastingly opposed ... but only since President Obama has taken the presidency.

So, for clarity, I asked my friend (and his wife) to identify a single policy that had restricted their opportunity to prosper. My question was met with one RW talking point after another ... from ObamaCare's "forcing us to buy health insurance" (that I reminded him, his company was already providing) to Keystone (that I reminded him would do nothing to reduce the price at the pump).

With every talking point refutation, his "arguments" became louder and more and more abstract and disconnected from social and economic reality ... Until he finally said: "You just support (President) Obama because he is half-Black and you are Black. That is all 'you people' want ... 'free stuff' that the rest of us have to pay for."

I can honestly say that this did not surprise me as I had noticed over the years that just beneath the surface of his every argument, was that unspoken racial sentiment. So, I gathered my family and begged our forgiveness as I felt it was time we left.

But before leaving, I offered that my friend that he should really reflect on his life, since it was a Black woman that befriended his "trailer-park" wife, when no one else would; it was a Black man that connected him to the "free stuff" that the Black man had not used; but had fed and allowed my friend to gain an education; it was a Black man that connected him to the government contracts that grew his business; and more importantly, his adopted son - his pride and joy - is, also, a Black man.

With that ... we left.

[bongbong]

1. Sad story

And it reflects the personal damage that is layered on top of the societal damage that the fascists cause.

[SemperEadem]

2. that is so sad

He gets to cherry pick his past when it doesn't fit the narrative he so desperately wished his life was so that he can accept himself and be accepted by those who would otherwise reject him.

Pride goes before destruction and the haughty spirit before the fall. He will come seek you out again when he has lost the business for good because he has not learned from his personal history and his pride will land him right back where he started.

[1StrongBlackMan]

3. Well ...

I don't think he will, specifically, seek me out; rather, I suspect he will accept whatever assistance that the universe puts onto his path. And the universe, with its sweet, sweet sense of irony will ensure that that assistance will come in the of a liberal, pro-choice, lesbian, person of color.

[SemperEadem]

4. definitely

the desperation when it happens will force him to his knees and be grateful for however the help comes to him... or maybe not. He just may be one of those who will not have a peaceful end of life when his time comes.

It is so sad when one knows better but chooses to act to the contrary because of pride.

[SemperEadem]

5. but your story brings me back to a point

I made elsewhere--and that is: what, exactly, are white christians of this ilk being taught in church, Sunday school and bible class? What kind of Gordian knot-twisting of Jesus' teachings are going on in these churches that basically tells these people that "Love thy neighbor" doesn't apply to them? Hatred of "the other" is celebrated. I fail to see the christian charity they're supposed to possess when they delight in oppressing certain segments of the population with abandon and glee. Jesus didn't say "it's up to you who to love..." He said "Love thy neighbor as thyself".

It leads me to believe that the notion of the "false prophets" in the end times is really coming to bear.

[1StrongBlackMan]

6. I couldn't agree more ...

It seems that Western Europe, in general, and America, in particular, has produced a "special" brand of christianity (small "C", intentional), that is most unChrist-like.

It is marked by materialism, ego-centrism, jingoism and all forms of chauvinism; all of which, the Christ specifically rejected.

[SemperEadem]

7. Prosperity gospel is its name

and here I though Jesus chased money-changers out of the temple... silly me for getting that wrong all those years ago.

[NOLALady]

8. Seems to me

their prophets were false from the moment this country was invaded. There wasn't much love for the original inhabitants, nor the sons and daughters of Africa whose free labor built this country.

JMHO

[1StrongBlackMan]

9. My Father (R.I.P.) ...

From as early as I can remember, used to relate an old African Proverb (or, at least he swore it was an old African Proverb). It was his cautionary tale that related to so many situations:

"Beware of the man with the black frocked coat. When he arrives, he will have the book and you will have the land; but soon, he will have the land and you will have the book."

[1StrongBlackMan]

10. More to the point ...

Their prophets have been false since the close of the Age of Antiquity (the Classic Era), when the focus of "civilization" shifted from the Continent to Europe ... when history was re-written to be His-Story.

I think it was not a coincidence that the Classic Age ... a period largely focused on shared learning ... was replaced by a period that sought to erradicate knowledge and gave rise to an all powerful church.

[Number23]

12. There is so much truth in this post, I don't know where to start...

Hatred of "the other" is celebrated. I fail to see the christian charity they're supposed to possess when they delight in oppressing certain segments of the population with abandon and glee.

Reminds me of something MLK said...

And, with a spirit straining toward true self-esteem, the Negro must boldly throw off the manacles of self-abnegation and say to himself and to the world, "I am somebody. I am a person. I am a man with dignity and honor. I have a rich and noble history. How painful and exploited that history has been. Yes, I was a slave through my foreparents and I am not ashamed of that. I'm ashamed of the people who were so sinful to make me a slave."

http://www.famous-speeches-and-speech-topics.info/martin-luther-king-speeches/martin-luther-king-speech-where-do-we-go-from-here.htm

[Number23]

11. You handled that beautifully, 1SBM

It's a sad and really messed up situation. But for alot of people, it always (ALWAYS) boils down to color. And of course "it" can be everything from who to befriend; who to hook up with; who to give that job to; who to vote for etc.

And what's sad is that the folks who think this way think that everyone else does too. You and your wife have nothing to be ashamed of. You both handled yourselves beautifully. And the fact that this man has a black adopted son is troubling, to say the least.

[1StrongBlackMan]

13. Yes ...

And the fact that this man has a black adopted son is troubling, to say the least.

Years ago, when I was told that the adopted son (aged 4) told his adopted mother, "Your skin is so pretty and mine is so ugly", I offered to serve as a mentor/role-model for this Black child. I was rebuffed because they intended to raise this Black child to believe that race/skin color does not matter.

My response was, "First, while I agree that race/skin-color SHOULDN'T matter, in this world it clearly does; but more importantly, your son's comment indicates that race/skin-color IS already a matter for him."

Fast forward 10 years ...

This man-child attends the same school as my daughter ... he dates exclusively white girls; he hangs exclusively with white kids that openly refer to him by the nick-name: "Token"; and holds up glenn beck as his "hero."

When discussing colleges, my daughter told him that she planned to apply to Howard ($37,000/yr) and Spelman ($38,000/yr) ; but would settle for Northern Arizona ($8,000/yr), if her sholarships don't come through, he asked her why she would want to go to a school that further promotes racial discrimination. My daughter informed him that HBCUs are integrated to the same extent as predominately white universities and moreso than "ivory-league" institutions and have a better record in terms of their graduates (both white and black) being admitted into graduate and professional programs. His response was, "I don't believe a word of that ... Those schools are just racist."

My wife and I, all those years ago, lamented that this child will grow into manhood completely ill-equipped to deal with the racism that he will surely face; and sadly, it appears to have come to pass.

[SemperEadem]

14. I feel sorry for him

when the day comes where someone he has thrown in with callously reminds him that he is black by either insulting him to his face or standing by and not defending him when someone else offends/attacks him. He is going to be so lost when that time comes.

He may not think his skin color matters, but there is a world full of people that will very happy to drill it into his thick skull for him. He probably will be like that sick Dave Chappelle character: the old blind black guy who is a racist towards other blacks and doesn't know that he is black.

[Number23]

15. That is heartbreaking

And I'm sure that his parents thought they were doing the right thing bringing him up to be "race UNconscious" but all they've done is bring someone up that seems to not fully understand and may even dislike what he is. "Token." That's some seriously messed up sh*t right there.

[JustAnotherGen]

16. First - I had to Rec this

Second - I hoped I bumped this so other DU'ers will read it.

Third - know this. . .

Your friend - yep - he attends an Evangelical Christian Church -

But he obviously worships at the altar of Ayn Rand.

And that being said, know this - she died alone, poor, on social security. Not with herself - but alone. Poor, not just financially but also mired in the poverty of those without friends . . . those who cannot hold the hand of love and friendship when they pass. And Social Security - for the last, the least, and the lost.


Empathy for your friend - for he and his wife and yes - even their son if he does not change his ways - will lead them to the life ending of Scrooge before his transformation.

I'm kind of shyly posting this - but my Unitarian beliefs are coming through . . . it's not the after life we should concern ourselves with - but this life filled with human beings.

You 1StrongBlackMan and your friend James, and your wife - you ARE the embodient of the Kingdom. This man - the most he can hope for is to tunnel back over to the side of love and light. MAYBE he can tunnel back over to living 'right'.