I'm mentoring an African-American young lady ...

[1StrongBlackMan]

in her second professional job ever.

She is extremely bright, hard-working and technically competent (she knows far more than anyone else in her area); but, she is getting really frustrated in her job.

The strengths listed above have resulted in her being noticed as a "Get it done" kind of person and she gets promoted rapidly to 1st line management spots; but, then, her progress stalls. She has lost a number of positions/projects to lesser qualified/lesser performing co-workers.

Her problem ... her early recognition and success, has led her to believe that she will continue to advance on the basis of her hard-work; but, she is losing out to people that lobby for, and promote, themselves.

How do I get her to understand that people that advance are the people that speak for themselves ... people that allow their work (and their work alone) to speak for them end up reporting to/working for those that speak for themselves?

[TlalocW]

1. Tell her to start thinking about starting her own business

She might like that better.

TlalocW

[notadmblnd]

2. and she wil begin to notice that when she has ideas, she wil be told it can't be done

then when it becomes someone else s idea, it will be the best thing since sliced bread. If she won;t advocate for herself, no one else will.

[1StrongBlackMan]

3. Actually ...

I'm reaching into my network at that company and will find someone that will advocate for her ... while we double team her to disabuse her of her meritocracy delusions ... competence keeps you employed, self-promotion gets you promoted.

[marym625]

4. Just like what happened to your wife,

The likelihood that she will advance much higher than middle management is not good. She is a woman. We're constantly being held back no matter what. She is a black woman, two strikes.

In the not too distant past, those things might have actually helped. Companies always wanted to have a token female and token person of color in their upper management. But now, in this climate, that's changing.

There will always be some company that will do the right thing and promote based on the things that count. But good luck finding that company.

She does need to advocate for herself, but I think getting her hopes up by telling her that will get her ahead without telling her the reality of the corporate world, will and up causing her more grief and frustration.

Adding on edit: she should try to find the company that will value her. Tell her to research it. Then, no matter where she is, she has to sell herself just like she does in an interview.

[1StrongBlackMan]

5. It's a little different from my wife ...

though they are similar in that my wife refuses to sell herself (her work should speak for itself) ... my mentee is still too young/inexperienced to know better.

Interestingly, I had a conversation with another female professional about pay ... she was noting the pay disparity; I told her that she (and other women) got paid what they accepted. It sounds harsh; but, pay is a function of negotiation. I recently (going way beyond my role) negotiated a $22,000 pay increase for a female new hire.

[marym625]

6. That was awesome of you

But negotiations or not, a fair company will pay the same for the same job. When negotiations enter into it, women do NOT get the same as men in power. The women start out lower and will never be able to negotiate as high. That's the reality.

What you said is, I'm sorry, but naive as to what a corporation will allow for a woman.

[sheshe2]

7. She will learn from you,

You make a strong mentor, wise beyond your years. Give her some time and as much time as you have to give to her. I wish I had you in my corner when entered the work force. She will find her voice, of that I have no doubt.

You are a good man, 1SBM.

[JustAnotherGen]

8. I had to sit on this one

Not knowing the industry but acknowledged for my ability to "manage up" - she has to think about her "brand".


Have her pick three words she wants people to describe her as in industry and manage to that.

Encourage her to interact with her peers. Not sociable - but - how does what I do impact wat you do? It's honey.

She should document her work - and save emails.

I did this and the impact to the business was. . .

Finally - she can throw an elbow every now and then. Sometimes it's a necessity.

[kwassa]

9. Does the tree falling in the forest make a sound if there was no one there to here it?

Not in the professional world.

Most of what we do professionally is unseen, and if it is unseen, it is unknown.

I think you are totally correct. One must blow one's own horn.

Also, something that has really advanced my wife, and allowed her to make big jumps in responsibility and income is networking. Most jobs have come from people she knows in other capacities. The work must be good, but it takes more than that.

[1StrongBlackMan]

10. Well, I fear I have lost a mentee ...

After a number of conversations, on a broad range of topics, I have determined that the source of her career/job dissatisfaction is not so much stagnation; but rather, she feels under-appreciated. (We all do) ... But this under-appreciation is more (IMO) an unrealistic need for consistent praise and attention/recognition (that she sees others getting, coupled with an unwillingness to adapt her conduct to match that of those receiving the praise/recognition that she craves ... she sees that as kissing her boss' ass. And she has decided to leave that company.

I fear I lost her when I told her, that when she chooses to not do what she knows/sees will get her what she wants; she is, also, choosing to NOT get what she wants/needs. And regarding her discussion to leave, I asked her what was going to be different?

I haven't heard from her in about a week (we usually talk every couple of days) ... Oh well.