Vietnam Veterans, Discharged Under Cloud, File Suit Saying Trauma Was Cause

[white cloud]

NEW HAVEN — In the summer of 1968, John Shepherd Jr. enlisted in the Army, figuring that the draft would get him anyway. By January 1969, he was in the Mekong Delta, fighting with the Ninth Infantry Division.
Within a month, his patrol was ambushed, and Mr. Shepherd responded by tossing a hand grenade into a bunker that killed several enemy soldiers. The Army awarded him a Bronze Star with a valor device, one of its highest decorations.



http://www.nytimes.com/2012/12/03/us/vietnam-veterans-claiming-ptsd-sue-for-better-discharges.html?emc=tnt&tntemail1=y

[douglas9]

1. Injured Vietnam Vet Seeks to Clear His Record

HARTFORD, Conn. (CN) - A Vietnam vet with a Purple Heart sued the Secretary of the Army to clear his record of a bad-conduct discharge.
Central to William P. Dolphin's federal complaint is that the Army did not recognize post-traumatic stress disorder as a service-related disability until 1980, but he was wounded in 1968.
"William P. Dolphin was drafted into the Army in 1967," the complaint states. "Mr. Dolphin deployed to Vietnam and earned a Purple Heart in 1968 when an explosion threw him from a tree he had climbed to pinpoint an enemy position. The Army medically evacuated him from the battlefield and eventually transferred him to St. Albans Hospital in Queens, NY, from where he recalls being sent home on convalescent leave. Years later, he was arrested, charged with being absent without leave, and sentenced by court-martial to a bad conduct discharge.

http://www.courthousenews.com/2012/11/13/52181.htm

[Apache Crew Chief 65]

2. Demons of War consumed your conscience.

As a 65-year-old grandfather of three grandsons and a combat disabled veteran and third-generation U.S. Army. My uncle still carries shrapnel from the Nazis and my favorite uncle who passed on this year served as an officer in the Second World War and the Korean War.

Demons of war consumed your conscience in your sleep and for this 18-year-old critical thinking solution was alcohol and the more the better. I witness my best friend shot down over a Special Forces camp and to this day December 3, 2012 I still carry guilt and anguish over this site. I have discarded my addiction to alcohol and have managed to discuss this with my doctor at the veterans hospital and I believe my God has forgiven me for my actions as a crew chief on a UH 1B gunship and slick in the central Highlands of Vietnam March 1965 to March 1966 but unfortunately I will not be able to forgive myself as these demons still control my conscience when I sleep.

I volunteer at Loma Linda veteran’s hospital and in my community supporting veterans and their families who are carrying the burden and hardship of repeated deployments as this war continues nearing 12 years as our national treasure returning in flag draped coffins.

The majority of Americans prefer dancing with the stars and if celebrities are wearing underclothing. The mainstream media in my opinion is controlled by the military-industrial complex Mafia of deception milking Americans national treasure so they can investor their bounty in Switzerland and the Cayman islands.

My pain and anguish in all honesty should be on the conscience of every American this holiday season as family members of our veterans witness the empty chairs at Christmas dinner and yes I feel their pain.

[Victor_c3]

3. The last part of what you said is so true

and I think that is where much of the anger that I have regarding my combat experiences come from. Americans were quick to jump on board with sending troops to Iraq but they are also just as quick to forget about them and move on to something more entertaining.

I've been struggling for only a handful of years with my own PTSD issues, but I totally understand everything that you are saying. The sense of alienation and isolation that I have experienced since returning from war and leaving the Army is completely overwhelming at times.

It sucks being a 32 year old has-been. When I was 24 years old I was capable of leading a platoon in combat. Now I can hardly keep a job (I would be unemployed if it wasn't for the charity of my boss and coworkers), go out to public places by myself without turning into a basket case, or even maintain any sort of a relationship with anyone. I have no friends, my wife hardly talks to me and I'm scared shitless of what my kids will think of me when they learn who and what I was in the war. PTSD and the war have completely turned my life upside down. Coming "home" has been the hardest thing I've ever tried to do in my life.

However, I'm slugging my way through it. I try my best to make all of my appointments and I'm actually a pretty positive person. Anyways, I better stop writing before this turns into one of my war rants...

[Apache Crew Chief 65]

4. Welcome Home Brother

Welcome home brother and I pray that you find peace in your lifetime. I have a very good relationship with the chaplain and he has advised me to step out of my comfort zone and to take baby steps towards the light and that with faith all things are possible. I want to share this poem with you written by Jim Van Doren Dustoff Medic.

AGAIN AND AGAIN
I have this recurring nightmare:
Even though we were scheduled to be "2nd Up", we've flown into the same hot LZ again and again today, under fire, to rescue the wounded - a dozen at a time. On our 5th mission this day, 11 Nov 65, I recognize the soldier I'm loading. God, no! It's the medic who's been bringing me his wounded - again and again - all throughout the battle.
[Infantry soldiers are trained to seek out whatever cover or concealment they can find, but when the ground medic hears "Doc, I'm hit!", he will rush toward the enemy guns to rescue his wounded buddy. Under fire! Without hesitation! Again and again!]
We've loaded everyone we can cram onto the Huey and lift off; now I can triage my patients. God, no! The medic's gut-shot, and I can't save him! I have other wounded aboard I can try to keep alive until we get them to the field hospital; maybe the Chaplain can help those I can't.


Then I wake up again, in a hot sweat again, and apologize again to my wife for kicking her out of bed with my thrashing - again. My war is long over, we remember, and I go back to sleep.
But it's not over. Now I'm being deployed overseas, again. I've lost more buddies than I've saved, so I've stopped counting. I don't know if I can keep any of them alive anymore; I know I can't keep them from being wounded, and that drives a cold stake through my heart. But I have to go - again and again - because they will need me - again and again. God, no!
Then I wake up again, but this time I don't go back to bed. After half a pot of coffee I realize the second nightmare is not mine - It's that of the medics I may never know, who have been deployed - again and again!
But I DO know them, and their buddies - and so do you. God, no!
Jim Van Doren
Dustoff Medic
Vietnam, 65-66

[Victor_c3]

5. Thank you for the poem

It really, for me, keys in on my anti-war stance. I don't want there to be more people who have to deal with the sorts of things that we've dealt with.

Most vets don't talk about their combat experiences and most people mistake that silence for an act of humility. They mistakenly assume that there is a noble and glorious account of combat valor being withheld from them and that the veteran, who is silent about what they did in war, is a hero who should be idolized. I don't think that most people realize that war and its memories are troubling. At least I didn't feel anything resembling a positive emotion in any of my firefights. I feel pain and sorrow for the friends and Soldiers I lost and I feel shame and remorse for the lives I contributed in taking.

If I ever see another event like the war in Iraq spinning up I'll be among the first ones out there protesting it.

The media does a great job scrubbing the brutality and reality of our wars and replacing it with fictional stories of valor. Even as kids we get to learn that war is fun in all of the video games that we play. When guys like me keep my stories and my grief to myself, it makes it too easy for the media to get away with this.

Thanks again for your post.