It's still so damn confusing...

[theHandpuppet]

Sorry, don't mean to be thick-headed, but I'm still confused about just which federal laws will apply and how to myself and my partner, who wish to marry after nearly 25 years of a committed relationship. We live in WV, which doesn't allow us to marry but we hoped to tie the knot in neighboring Maryland, which does. Of course, WV will not recognize our marriage. To complicate matters, my partner works in Virginia, which has some of the most oppressive anti-gay laws in the country. Not only does Virginia not recognize gay marriages from other states, gay folks are not allowed to enter into any legal contract that includes any provisions even resembling those between married heterosexual couples.
We had hoped upon retirement to move to Ohio to be closer to my family but of course that's out and right now it looks as if (upon retirement) we will have to move once again to a state that recognizes our marriage, even though that will take us even farther away from family.
Sooo... we are still confused about how the recent Supreme Court decision will affect us and whether or not we're still stuck in this ridiculous, demeaning and capricious carnival of laws. Can anyone simplify this for us? Hell, if we marry, we won't even know under which set of laws to file our tax returns. Any help here?

[PoliticAverse]

1. The very short answer is the recent decision involved the recognition of Gay marriage at the Federal

level. The Federal government must now treat Gay married couples the same as Heterosexual married couples
in respect to all Federal laws, programs, benefits etc.

[theHandpuppet]

3. It seems to be even more complicated, though

This was posted by dsc on the General Discussion forum. Link: http://www.democraticunderground.com/10023110479

The ACLU was, unusually for them, sloppy in its writing here

Part of DOMA has been struck down not the whole thing. Part 3 was struck down meaning that the federal government will now recognize same sex marriages that were performed in a state where they were recognized and whose couples are still living in a state in which they are recognized. But part 2, which permits states to not recognize the same sex marriages performed in other states lives on. Thus the numerous friends of mine who got married legally in other places are being treated no differently today than they were yesterday. To gain benefit from this decision they have to move to a state that legally recognizes their marriage.

[PoliticAverse]

4. This article is interesting...

The federal government relies on an array of rules that affect married couples. The departments of defense and veterans affairs, for example, base their decisions on where the couple were married, not where they currently live. But the IRS and Social Security Administration examine where they live, not where they were married.

That means that if a couple is married in one of the 13 states where same-sex marriage is or will soon be legal but moves to one of the other states, they would lose benefits.

Many of the rules surrounding marriage benefits can be executed by a presidential order, although some may take an act of Congress. How these decisions are made do not just have a cultural impact, they will have financial significance.

http://www.bostonglobe.com/news/nation/2013/06/27/gaymarriage/mBotUQwFQnun3E2JqfVaCO/story.html

[theHandpuppet]

5. It's this kind of legal madness that has us confused

It's like being tossed into a blender of legalese. My brain has turned to mush trying to sort out where we stand and what to do next as we plan for our future.

[PoliticAverse]

6. I think it's going to take a couple of weeks to get this clarified/settled.

I sympathize with your confusion.

[TDale313]

2. That is exactly what...

The next round of fights for marriage equality will be about. At the moment, situations like yours are kinda a legal limbo. The court said the Federal Government had to treat legal same sex marriages the same way it does any other legal marriage. In the states where it's already legal, it's clear. But what about, for example, a couple that is legally married in California and is transferred to a state that doesn't recognize their marriage? What, they're unmarried? Married federally but not on the State level? It will probably take couples in this situation taking their cases to court to ask/force their new state to recognize their marriage. The recent rulings were great, and they definitely lay the groundwork for marriage equality to go nation wide. But for that to happen it'll be a state by state fight until/unless the Supreme Court clarifies.

Basically, it's TBD

Editing to add: Sorry my post doesn't have much practical answers on the "What do we do now?" Or "What does this mean for us right now?" front.

[plantwomyn]

7. I have a suggestion for President Obama.

I suggest that he sign an Executive Order forthwith that instructs ALL agencies under the Executive that for purposes of all federal programs they recognize all marriages no matter what state the couple resides.

[theHandpuppet]

8. I agree!!!

The loopholes regarding federal programs need to be closed immediately. This is just nuts.

[elleng]

9. This may help:

http://www.democraticunderground.com/1169954

[cntrygrl]

10. Confusing, big time

Living in FL which is not gay friendly as far as the state gov goes. My wife and I got together in Sept 1991 and on May 8, 1993 we had our notary public draw up a "partnership" for us. That was the day we first said our vows to each other. In April we headed up to Ottawa, Ontario where we legally got married on May 8th. Been together, as you and your partner, longer than many str8 marriages - 22 wonderful years. Both families recognize our marriage. In fact my sister offered us to spend our honeymoon at her farm in upstate NY, where I am originally from. The whole experience was beautiful until we drove back to FL. Although we are completely out, our legal rights are nil. We work for the same city government and have to pay more for our individual health insurance. Just recently we had our wills updated which is an expense we had to save for. Barely keeping our heads above water financially, we (as you) sadly don't share the same benefits that str8 married couple do. Being in our 60's, it's not just confusing, it's down-right scary.