16 year old lab nearing the finish line

[Ex Lurker]

and it's very tough. They are so stoic, you don't know something's wrong until it's really wrong. She has been amazinlgy resilient. Ran off and was either hit by a car or kicked by a cow as a young whippersnapper. We never knew which and she never told us. Came home all scraped up, but after a few days of soreness, she was fine. Neurological scare two years ago which turned out to be a temporary inner-ear problem, breast tumor last year (benign). Slowing down of course, nearly blind, nearly deaf, but still enjoying life. She's had some cognitive decline, which manifests itself in wandering and confusion, and increasingly frequent "accidents." But she still knows us, still eats well, etc.

Last Friday, she wouldn't get up. Took her to the vet, diagnosed severe arthritis in her hips. Shot of Rimadyl and Rimadyl to take home. (I know the risks, but she would not be able to move otherwise.) Also very anemic. Vet suspected cancer, but the bloodwork doesn't show anything. Kidneys are okay, heart is okay.

Over the weekend she's been moving much better, and walks without pain, but she's still somewhat weak and unsteady, and her confusion seems worse. Vet said anipryl might help with the cognitive decline, but didn't have any in stock and had to order it-will be here middle of this week. Honestly, I don't know if she will be with us that long. And even so, should I put her through a few more weeks on the off chance it helps, and risk that she really goes downhill? I've waited too long before and a dog needlessly suffered because I couldn't bear to part with her. I don't want to put "Kate" through that.

Tonight she's been wandering aimlessly. Will let me pet her for a while, then wanders off again. She hasn't been to bed yet which in itself is very concerning. I want to give her every chance, and I want to keep her with me as long as I can, but her quality of life is not real great these last couple of days.

16 years for a big dog is almost unheard of, but no matter how long you have with them, it's never enough, is it?

[kdmorris]

1. I'm so sorry

We just lost our 14 year old, Brandy. Over the 4th of July weekend, she was acting strange, but I thought it was because of the fireworks. On July 5th, she couldn't move and refused to eat anything. We tried her favorite treats, but she wouldn't take them. We took her to the vet to find that she had cancer... a large tumor on her spleen that had started bleeding. She was in an incredible amount of pain and the vet didn't think she would survive surgery.

So we let her go painlessly.

She was in great health in September when she got her checkup... except for arthritis, but it wasn't too bad. She was an old dog.

It's never enough time. I miss her a lot. We got her as a 5 month old rescue and nothing feels the same without her. It's a hard choice to make... I'm so sorry you are going through the same thing.

[Phentex]

2. 16 years is quite amazing...

I think the wandering aimlessly is the sign that she knows it's near the end. That happened with mine but I didn't pay as close attention as I should have.

I've said before it's so hard because you don't want them in any kind of pain but you feel that great sense of loss coming on and you don't want that either. Just pet her and hug her and tell her you love her.

Hugs to you!

[Baitball Blogger]

3. Why do you think the wandering aimlessly is a sign that it's near the end?

My dog is doing that too. She just walks around the house, sometimes even investigates the closets. But at night she has learned not to come into my room because she knows I'll jump up and run to open the front door for her. She won't go out. She just stands there and stares at me.

If she does manage to go out, she just stands and pants. And then, right when you think her legs are locked in place, she starts the wandering pattern again.

I do believe that if we were in the wild, she would take off and find a place to die.

The one symptom that I find worrying is that it's an effort to get her out to have a stool movement.

[Phentex]

6. It's what old dogs do and could be a sign of dimentia or confusion...

Mine started standing in the yard looking a little lost. He did what yours did: go to the door but not really need to go out. When he did go out, sometimes he would stand to the left of the stairs coming up to the porch and act like he couldn't figure out how to get around to the door. But something else was bothering him and I think he felt confused about it. He couldn't tell us what he was feeling but he had the confused stare. In my mind, he was telling me Mom, I don't feel well. I could usually get him to go back to sleep. In the end, he refused all food and that was the clearest sign he gave.

[Baitball Blogger]

7. Thanks for that information.

It's getting harder and harder for her to get up, but I still managed to get her to eat boiled chicken. Today, for the first time, I had to feed her in bed. But she managed to take her pain pill and she was walking around for a little bit a half hour later.

It's agonizing to watch.

[magical thyme]

11. I think it tends to mean they know something is wrong, but don't know what

they need...something...

and yes, they may wander off to find a place to curl up and leave.

16 years is a great run. Kate clearly has been, and is, very loved.

[Delphinus]

14. Thanks for what you,

and all in this thread, have shared.

Our baby is almost 16-1/2 (dachshund), on Rimadyl, half blind, mostly deaf, not really eating (except for her bedtime snack), shedding like crazy, and having accidents way too much. I have looked up doggie dementia and I think she is suffering from that. Some days are good - some days are mostly not. Last night, she couldn't settle so I took her downstairs in the kitchen (where she is penned during the day due to accidents), and it still took her over an hour to settle. She's sleeping with her head resting on her bed - like that might be the only way she can breathe? I don't know and I just wish I did! I want her to die in her sleep, at home, not at the vet's office, where she'll be too scared to go.

[Phentex]

15. I hope that for you, too...

It is SO hard either way but I was fortunate to have my last one pass at home with me. You are lucky to have had so much time with yours. Please keep us posted about how it's going.

[Baitball Blogger]

4. I think you're asking the right questions.

I wish the vet would just be honest about the pain they're feeling.

[Number9Dream]

5. My sympathy - Terribly tough decision, but you'll know when it's time

No... it's never enough.

[Ex Lurker]

8. Thanks for the kind words, everyone

She finally settled down last night. She's no worse today, but no better. Still weak in the back end, still pacing. She wants to be near me. When she goes out, she looks back to make sure I'm going with her. Fortunately I work from home and can be here. Appetite is my rule of thumb for how a dog is feeling, and she ate well last night and this morning, so that's a positive. I guess we'll play it by ear the next few days.

[Judi Lynn]

9. You're right, you can never have enough time with beloved furry beings.

Best wishes now and throughout.

The pain will change, but you will miss your wonderful companion.

Take care.

[catbyte]

10. They are family. I'm sure she'll let you know when it's her time. In the meantime, I hope

you have many happy days with your sweet Kate.

[hamsterjill]

12. I sense a great love in this post!

I am so sorry for your pain and angst over your beloved Kate, but pardon me for one moment for being grateful to read a post where a companion animal is obviously so well loved! Thank you.

It is never easy to lose one - certainly not. Never gets any easier either. I do cat rescue and we lose them frequently because we begin with ones that are unhealthy, neglected, etc. There has never been a single one that didn't tug at my heart, nor one that I did not cry over.

That said, I've found the quality of life scale (link below) helpful in some cases. It's certainly NOT an answer, but it is information that will help you find an answer. It's reality when sometimes reality gets lost because there is so much pain and fear of loss.

http://www.veterinarypracticenews.com/November-2009/Quality-Of-Life-Scale/

I think it is lovely that Kate wants to be near you as her time draws to a close. She is lucky to have had someone like you, and my wish for you and her both is simply peace and comfort.

[Ex Lurker]

13. Thank you, that is helpful

She is adequately fed and hydrated. She just finished her supper tonight and ate it all-I'm not sure about the pain. She's not crying, but she pants a lot. She's able to move, but less than before. A few days ago she wanted to walk down the road. Today she mostly confines herself to the yard. She follows me closely when we're outside, and she's very alert for treats. Other than that, she likes to be left alone. She'll let me pet her for a while, then walks off. And still the pacing. She has the run of the house all night, and had several accidents last night. She's fine during the day when someone can attend to her wanting out. More good days than bad? I don't know at this point.

Using the cutoff point given on that website as 35, I'd say she's just above that right now. If she drops further, I guess we have a decision to make. It kills me to say that, but I won't hurt her out of my own selfish need to keep her with me.

Thanks, everybody.

ETA: Kind of a funny story. A neighbor dog ran up while we were outside, and she snapped at it. Still has to show she's an alpha. I was kind of glad she got to do that.

[Duppers]

16. I've been in your shoes and know the pain.

It's one of top three pains a truly loving person can ever go through. Went through it with our yellow Lab 32yrs ago, then our border collie 8yrs ago and here I am, shredding years while typing this.

You'll know. Be kind to yourself. It's obvious you dearly love her and she knows that.

[Ex Lurker]

17. Sadly, it's time for an update

Kate fought a valiant fight for nearly 7 weeks. With the help of medication, and lots of care and attention from us, most of it was good quality. Last weekend, she was in a lot of pain, and although she bounced back, I guess it was time. That's what everybody was telling me. I'm not so sure, but maybe I hung on too long because I couldn't bear to lose her. Anyway, she's not hurting any more. I'll sure miss her.

[hamsterjill]

18. Kate was a lucky dog to have been loved like she was.

I'm so sorry for your loss. Do not try to second guess yourself. Doing that is natural and common, and it only means that you loved her. You did the very best you could for her, and you need never doubt that.

Take the time to grief, and when you are ready, start to remember the good times.

And one more thing...if and when the time is ever right for you to provide a home for another one, please do it. I explained up post that I do cat rescue, and rescuers of any kind are always thrilled to adopt to persons such as yourself because we know you are the real deal.

Peace and comfort.

[phylny]

19. I'm sorry for your loss. You were lucky to have her, and she was lucky to have you. n/t

[virgdem]

20. I'm so sorry for your loss of your precious Kate...

It's so difficult to part with our beloved pets, even though we know that we are ending their suffering. I wish you peace and comfort in the coming days. Remember the good times you had with her and when you are ready, open your heart to another dog.

[magical thyme]

22. I am so very sorry for your loss...

16 years was a good, long run. She clearly was well loved.

godspeed, Kate

to you Lurker, and the rest of Kate's family and friends.

[livetohike]

23. I'm so sorry for your loss of Kate. You did all you could for her, including

knowing when it was time to say goodbye. May every good memory of times with Kate fill your heart with happiness to have had her in your life

[Ex Lurker]

24. it's really, really hard now

I didn't sleep last night until I fell over from exhaustion. Tonight is no better. It is so painful. I've lost people in my life, had family members go through severe illnesses. A lot of people would say this doesn't compare. But it does, to me.

[Fla Dem]

27. Just read your update and have a lump in my throat and tears in my eyes.

Came specifically here to see how you and Kate were doing. From your previous posts, knew her time was near and you were struggling to let her go. I am so sorry you will not have Kate in your life anymore. She obviously was a love of your life and a good girl. But she also is no longer suffering, and if there is a wonderful afterlife where we all get to shed our ailments and suffering, at some point you and Kate will be together again. Peace be with you in your heart.

[Ex Lurker]

28. Thanks, I appreciate it

I tried to write about it in my journal today and it just made me feel more sad and lonely. I miss her terribly. I find myself thinking, "was the sorrow I'm feeling worth it?" Then I imagine her asking, "wasn't I worth it to you?" She was hurting near the end, and I imagine her saying, "I am in pain, but if it means being with you a little while longer, then I am willing to be in pain."

[Ex Lurker]

21. Random occurrence, or something more?

We live in a rural area, with lots of wildlife around. Our regular walking route is down an abandoned road through a swampy area. Kate and I walked that path many times in the past weeks, often several times a day, as I tried to keep her up and moving. This morning, I was walking our other Lab down that same road, and a big cottonmouth crossed in front of us. Kate was nearly blind and deaf. She could easily have walked up on one without knowing it, but during our entire time, we never saw a venomous snake. It's as if something was protecting her, and now nature is taking its regular course again.

[Ex Lurker]

25. Three days later

The shortness of breath and ball in the pit of my stomach isn't happening as often, but I am sad, lonely, and deeply depressed. No energy, no interest in anything. Exhausted but can't sleep. My mom was severely ill last winter and this is equally as stressful and traumatic.

[Judi Lynn]

29. So sorry you're going through this. Time will help dull the pain of losing her companionship,

as precious, irreplaceable as it has been in your life.

I hope at some time, when we get beyond our current stage, things will make more sense, and whatever the "mystery" has been in our lives, will be spectacularly good to learn as it is illuminated.

[Ex Lurker]

30. I don't even know if I want the pain to dull

because that means more time will have passed since she was alive. I've written down memories, but you always forget things. One day I will remember less about her. That's just the way life happens, you don't have perfect recall of everything. And that terrifies me.

I'm really having a hard time with this. She was just about the most important thing in my life, and now she's gone.