it's been a month and i still miss my fat cat terribly

[fizzgig]

i have my dim one, but i feel so lonely without her. it makes me sad that i'm used to not waking up with her next to me, but i'm still not used to her not being here at treat and dinner time. i'm still not used to how quiet it is without her.



the dim one was really standoffish with me for the first three or so weeks, but she's back to her usual lovey self. that's helped a bit.

[CaliforniaPeggy]

1. A month isn't very long, my dear fizzgig, esp. for a huge loss like yours...

When our Dalmatian died, I cried every day for probably a month, and then intermittently after that for months. Of course, everybody is different.

I was out driving one day, some years later, when I saw a girl running with her Dalmatian, and it looked so much like ours. At a red light, I put down my window, and called out to her "nice looking dog." She smiled and said thanks. A couple of blocks later, I pulled over and bawled like a baby. My heart was still breaking and this was years later.

Be patient with yourself, and remember that there is no timetable for grief.

This is only electronic, but I send it with love.

[fizzgig]

2. this is the first real grief of my life

and it feels never ending. things are a bit better, but it's still pretty rough a lot of days. the husband and the other kitty pulled away for the first couple of weeks and that was really hard. it's helping that i have them back.

thank you for your kind words

[Behind the Aegis]

3. It takes awhile.

For the first month after Tony died, I cried all the time. It was made worse because his best buddy (well, in her mind), our Chihuahua, Marigny, kept trying to find him! It was heartbreaking. She looked for him for almost two months! It takes time for your heart to heal, and there will likely always be a small spot on your heart. Just don't let be a spot of sadness, let it be a spot of happiness and joy.

[fizzgig]

6. that spot feels so big right now

and is filled with so many emotions. i know it will get easier as time passes, but my gods, it sucks right now.

a back atcha

[shenmue]

4. Hugs

[fizzgig]

7. thanks

[Curmudgeoness]

5. I know the feeling.

It takes time to get over losing a furbaby. Four for me, and I still remember them all and all the pain when they passed away.

I am sure the dim one was grieving as well. Glad she is coming around. It helps.

[fizzgig]

8. i've said goodbye to so many of them over the years

but this time around has been the hardest. she stuck close to the husband during that time, just not with me. i wonder if she figured he needed her more than i did.

[shrike]

9. It's been four and a half years, and I still miss my black cat

It gets better, but the special ones always stay with you.

[fizzgig]

11. she was a special girl

i have never grieved like this before.

[TorchTheWitch]

10. it can take a long time

The only cure for that for me is to get a new furbaby.

A month isn't very long. I think maybe because of your concern for fat cat's physical difficulties and always being on alert even in the back of your mind it probably could take awhile to get accustomed to not having that in your head anymore.

Eventually it gets better, but it just might take awhile. At some point you'll realize you aren't counting the days since fat cat's passing anymore.

One day at a time.

[fizzgig]

13. i actually am still counting the days

it seems so recent and so long ago.

i'm already looking at the shelter and cat rescue, but the husband isn't ready yet. i don't want to push him too hard, but i'll keep nudging him.

thank you so much for your kindness through all of this

[grasswire]

12. somewhere out there, fizzer, is another cat who is waiting for a loving home.

When the time is right, open your heart to the new one. He/she won't replace fat cat, but it will feel good to provide TLC again.

That's a very touching photo. Sweet kitty.

[fizzgig]

14. i am already ready for another one

the small positive of losing her is that i can now give a home to someone who needs it, but i am waiting for my husband to be ready. this is the first time in my life i've had only one cat and it's seriously not great.

she and my husband had a very special bond (she's the first guy i dated that she warmed up to) and i think he's even more devastated than i am. they were so in love that i always expected to come home to a note that they had run off together.

[CountAllVotes]

15. After losing my Old Kitty & Mr. Flame back-to-back in 2011/2012

I was a mess I must admit.

Alas, Mr. CAV was real sad too (lost two of his brothers at the end of 2013) and he decided it was time for some change around here.

We adopted two stray male kittens from the local shelter and yes, it has made a huge difference.

I'm not suggesting that you do this now but ...

maybe in the future you'll be thinking about it I can hope.

Just think of all the poor cats/kittens that never find homes and end up being put down needlessly. What they "need" is you.

I hope you feel better soon!

[fizzgig]

17. a woman at work is moving and needs to re-home her cats

husband and i will go meet them when the time gets closer. we can't take both, but maybe we'll click with one of them. that was the small consolation to her passing, the fact we could give a home to someone who needs one.

things are getting a bit better day by day, but it still really hurts some days.

[roody]

16. Here is some comfort.

[fizzgig]

18. beautiful

thank you