Why Some Pet Photos Make Me Nervous

[sinkingfeeling]

http://speakingforspot.com/blog/2013/07/14/why-some-pet-photos-make-me-nervous/

I’d like to tell you about Ben, a patient of mine many years ago who helped set the stage for my “nervous condition”. One or two adults along with two young children typically accompanied this lovely Saint Bernard to his appointments with me. The children were always busy interacting with their dog. At any given moment one might be dragging Ben around the room by his collar. Whenever Ben did manage to lie down, he was treated him like a beanbag chair, the two children leaping and falling onto his soft belly. Ben always remained the gentle giant, ridiculously tolerant of the children’s disrespectful behavior. My attempts to tactfully educate the parents about setting limits for their kids failed miserably. They reassured me that their children were simply demonstrating love for Ben who, in return, would never dole out anything but affection.

I was saddened but not surprised to receive a phone call from the children’s mother asking if I knew of anyone who might be willing to adopt Ben right away, and it needed to be a home without children. It seems that Ben finally snapped, both literally and figuratively. He bit the youngest child in the face prompting an emergency room visit and extensive reconstructive surgery. The child would be permanently scarred (likely emotionally as well as physically) and the family needed to rehome Ben or have him put to sleep. Given the bite history, a suitable home for Ben could not be found. I remember crying as I set about the task of euthanizing my beautiful and dignified patient
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Article has some common sense advice for parents of young children.

[narnian60]

1. Great article.

I never take my dogs' (or cats') tolerant behavior for granted, especially when it comes to kids.

[Arkansas Granny]

2. Good advice. I wish more people would think about these things.

[Walk away]

3. Nothing upsets me more than a family with young children buying...

or adopting a small dog. Chances are good that someone is going to get hurt and the animal usually suffers in the end. I have always recommended a docile larger dog instead. Now I see that young or immature kids and pets just don't mix.

[get the red out]

4. I agree with you!

Especially when parents see the pets as furry humans who want nothing more than to take whatever a child dishes out.

My heart literally hurt when I read about poor Ben.

[dixiegrrrrl]

6. Our latest cat is a fugitive from the kids across the street.

Seems he showed up in the neighborhood, at a year old, the family across the street decided to let the kids have a pet, but cat could never be allowed in the house, was fed dry food outside.
Three of the 4 kids are under 8. They loved carrying him around and "playing" with him, altho as time passed he became harder and harder to find, they said.
I saw some of the "playing"...he was picked up, carried and hugged, then just dropped when a kid's attention was diverted. And he was chased, a lot.
The dad called me one day, wanted to know what shots the cat should have. (Parents had never had pets)
When I told him, he complained about the price of even the required rabies shot, which, turns out, is all they did for the cat.
Within a month he was in our yard, more and more, hanging out with my other cat, and surprisingly our dog accepted his presence. One day he just walked into the house, and never went across the street again.
I called the parents, they were very cool with the idea of the cat living with me.
Kids were a bit resentful, tho.

Few months ago they had a puppy, I noticed. Then it was gone, and I asked about it.
Seems the puppy "scared" the oldest daughter.So they took it to the pound.

Maybe it's just as well they do not have pets, I am thinking.

[narnian60]

7. Thank you for adopting their cat.

If I lived next to them, they would hate me.

[jtuck004]

5. And this is why many rescues have a policy of not adopting to families with young children.

And why, if you adopt a dog, and then give it to a family with young children, the rescue will often attempt to get it back, b4 it turns into the above situation.

The dog has already been abandoned once, and, statistically, the odds are much higher that it will happen again in a house with young kids.

Not always, but in my experience it's the majority of the time - and painful for the dog.

Thank you for posting.

[get the red out]

8. I agree

I am a novice dog owner, and felt my societal conditioning cause me some guilt when we, as a child-free couple adopted a puppy since they are "supposed to be for kids". Once I learned more I no longer felt that guilt.

I don't understand how people don't see their lives as having value and their feelings deserving respect. I am very glad there are rescues with no small children policies.

[jtuck004]

9. That's so good to hear. You did well!

Periodically I see a family who teaches their kids to be respectful to animals, but, as you said, there is so much conditioning from outside to see pets as disposable (not to mention people) that it's really rare.

The only question I have about rescues is who actually gets rescued. Most times I think it's really the people...

Thank you for taking one into your family.

[get the red out]

15. She rescued us

My husband and I both agree on that, and and he's a Republican.

[BrotherIvan]

10. This is a parenting problem

I am so sorry that poor, lovely Ben had to suffer because of these awful parents. Parents who think their children are so cute and precious as they torture even the most patient and gentle animals until they snap. I've seen it a million times. Poor Ben was probably scared or hurt to react this way. Instead of teaching the children to be respectful, gentle, and loving, it's up to the animal to bear anything precious snowflake wants to do. Allowing bad behavior in children seems to be cute to many, but the dog who gave them love is now gone forever. I hope those parents are at least smart enough to realize they don't deserve another pet.

[yourpicturehere]

11. Me, too.

I have always wondered why photos of pets have to have children in them. The American "dream" of Mommy, Daddy, 2.5 kids and a dog seems to never include the fact that the dog is not a toy!

That being said, I have had dogs and children for a loooong time. The kids were NEVER allowed to play with the puppies til the puppies had teeth and never unsupervised. They were required to have respect for the animals in the house. Nothing would get them in trouble quicker than doing the wrong thing to an animal! They were taught never to get in a dog's face (the AKC guidelines for judges says that they are NOT to get in close proximity to a dog's face while examining the animal and judges have a lot of experience with dogs), to never stick their fingers in a dog's crate and to never pet anyone's dog w/o asking permission. By the same token, all my dogs are taught that if I or my husband want to take their food bowls or toys that they had better let that happen. I am dominant bitch (in more ways than one!)

I WILL NOT place a dog or cat with someone with children under 12 and sometimes not then. I have an acquaintance with 6 kids who just can't understand why the Chihuahua breeders of the world won't place puppy with her. I told her that I wouldn't either and my dogs are much bigger than Chihuahuas.

One common mistake people make with dogs and kids is to bring a new baby to the house and immediately put the child with the dog and "let the dog meet the child" so he won't "be jealous". Bullshit! Dogs need to understand that the baby is a precious thing that is NOT to be touched w/o permission. He will get used to the sounds and smells of a new baby w/o personal interactions for a while. Some dogs get this immediately, some don't, none should be unsupervised.

Some dogs are slightly unhinged (I have met a few) and need special people to care for them. These should never be placed with families with children and sometimes not with some adults! I placed a very dominant rescue bitch with a couple that are so entranced with her and so afraid of hurting her sensitive soul that they WILL NOT correct her. She runs the house. She is older now and when she passes, these people do NOT need another dog. Thank God, they don't have children. Loving your pet, like loving your children means setting boundaries. Corrections need not be cruel, just consistent and immediate with praise when the situation is corrected. I have growled at my dogs and they knew exactly what I meant (I am dominant bitch).

This is an EXCELLENT article and should be spread far and wide. Thank you!

[LisaLynne]

12. Thank you for your insight.

And welcome to DU!

[LisaLynne]

13. Great article.

I don't know why people think a dog or cat will never snap after being abused when, let's face it, parents get angry at their own children and snap at them once in a while. And I'm not even talking about really physical abuse -- just the OMG I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE times that you look back on and think, "Wow, I wish I would have stayed calmer." The poor dog can't take it back like a human can.

[Auntie Bush]

14. Such a tragic story...which could be avoided.

I worry about my two granddaughters (3 and 7) whom I believe are too rough with there gentle Bull Terrier. I worry that someday she may just feel she's had enough! What an awful and scary thought. I just wish the parents would not trust them alone with the dog and encourage them to be more gentle.

[IrishAyes]

16. Great though sad OP

I waited until I felt my son was mature enough at 12 before getting a rottie for us, for the dog's sake as well. Parents can't really hawk their kids every second, and I know accidents can happen although the parents you describe were lax in the extreme. We mostly stuck to a cat or two those first few years, partly because his father was around then and far preferred them over dogs which had a disturbing tendency to bite him. Go figure.

Articles like the one you posted are valuable, not only for parents uneducated in that matter but also for the animals that have to suffer under their care.

You want to talk about stupid people tricks; especially when my chows were young and more intimidating to most strangers, I used to wait in the parking lot until Doc's assistant would come out to get us, because if we tried to wait in the waiting room, some fool always had to swagger over and try to show everyone that he could bring those dogs to heel. I'd be sitting there warning him sternly to back off, but he'd never listen. We had some close calls.

Even the parking lot was not entirely safe, though. One time a woman with a little squeaker on a leash started toward us like Howdy Doody on steroids. I started warning her to stay back. Joy and Freedom were lunging at the leash because they thought she was bringing them dinner. But the woman pressed forward with a dismissive "Oh, let them play and get acquainted. Kismet won't hurt your dogs!" She didn't veer off until I yelled at her that my dogs thought she was bringing them Kismet to eat. Then of course she got all huffy and implied I wasn't very friendly. The fact that they were raising hell from the first, leaping against their leashes, didn't give her a clue. I always hoped she never tried to have kids herself.

[get the red out]

17. What is it with people?

A lady somehow thought that she could will the GSD in our obedience class to get along with her Aussie, both males, after the two dogs had already snarled at each other over a treat. She told my friend with the GSD that her dog would have to get used to her Aussie and started to bring him over and my friend said no. People think that a desire to make things a certain way with dogs will somehow make it so, I guess they think that is dog magic or something.

[IrishAyes]

18. They live in an alternate universe

with no bearing on reality. They're so full of themselves it makes me think they must be Republicans.

If you can stand one more story, this one's a doozy:

I've written before about Swee'pea, my dobie-rott cross picked up on the highway near a military base and how I realized soon that he must've been some soldier's illegal backyard project because he showed clear signs of patrol dog training. Meaning he'd been taught silent alert method and if he decided to attack, it would be both silent and serious. Not catch and hold.

So one day soon afterward, I was out walking him on a leash down a rural road, and along came some fool with a big dog from the opposite direction. I crossed the road to get away from him but he switched sides too, which scared me pretty badly. He also had a crazy grin on his face and laughed while he worked his own dog into a frenzy, preparing to attack. He might not've meant me any harm, but he sure as hell wanted a dog fight.

Anyway, there was no escape so I stopped walking as Fool and his dog got closer. I knew Swee'pea could take the other dog, but I also got another scare when Swee'pea simply sat down and watched calmly. So I had no confidence he felt protective of me yet. Fool misread the situation too, because he got even crazier.

But when Fool's dog was only inches away, without a sound or any warning Swee'pea suddenly leaped up and grabbed the dog underneath the throat, threw him over, and started to rip his throat out. Fool started screaming and ran away. I got Swee'pea pulled off the other dog because it was done for anyway, bleeding out fast.

When we got home I called the police immediately and found out Fool had called them already to report a mad dog attack. Fortunately they knew him all too well, and they knew who'd been the aggressor. He was known for a dog-fighting operation. Apparently Swee'pea had dispatched his favorite dog. Once I knew the man's history, I had no trouble getting rid of the lawsuit he threatened against me!

So it's true - the world's full of stupid people.