How the 2017 tax law changed 'table wine'
Dan Berger/Vintage Experiences
If you’ve been a regular consumer of wines that typically sell for about $15 a bottle or less, you’re probably happy with the way they taste.
But soon we’ll begin to see more alcohol in our so-called table wines, which will also be higher in calories, will taste sweeter (higher alcohols do that), will be slightly hotter, and won’t work with food quite as well.
This change is a result of the federal government unexpectedly, and unaccountably, issuing new regulations for wine that are not only anti-consumer, anti-moderation, and anti-food friendly, but appears to me to be a cynical way to give large wineries a huge tax benefit while dealing an economic haymaker to smaller wineries.
SNIP
One wonders how such a regulation came about. Inside the wine industry, some cynics suggest this idea came unsolicited, over the transom, from an industry lobbyist who wanted to benefit giant wineries.
MORE: https://napavalleyregister.com/wine/columnists/dan-berger/dan-berger-on-wine-how-the-tax-law-changed-table/article_83a995c1-d967-5b15-a4a4-3a763765af94.html
As climate change warms global temperatures it will be a lot easier for wineries to grow grapes that will produce higher alcohol levels during fermentation. The new law lowers excise tax rates for wines over 14% alcohol. The new level is now 16%.
I'm not sure why this is a "haymaker punch" for smaller wineries, except for this reason: large volume wineries will be able to sell more of their high alcohol wines to distributors and resalers at lower volume pricing now that the excise tax has changed. Most distributors and retailers don't give a damn about wine quality -- all they care about is the lowest price they have to pay per case.
This is perhaps why the author suggests we might see higher alcohol, less food-friendly wines in stores.
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Known as "liquid crack," for its reputation for wreaking more mental havoc than the cheapest tequila. Something in this syrupy hooch seems to have a synapse-blasting effect not unlike low-grade cocaine. The label insists that the ingredients are merely "citrus wine & grape wine with artificial flavor & artificial color," but anyone who has tried it knows better. Tales of Cisco-induced semi-psychotic fits are common. Often, people on a Cisco binge end up curled into a fetal ball, shuddering and muttering paranoid rants. Nudity and violence may well be involved too. Everyone who drinks this feels great at first, and claims, "It's not bad at all, I like it." But, you really do not want to mess around with this one, because they all sing a different tune a few minutes later. And by tune, I mean the psychotic ramblings of a raging naked bum.
In 1991, Cisco's tendency to cause a temporary form of inebriated insanity led the Federal Trade Commission to require its bottlers to print a warning on the label (above right). The FTC also forced them to drop their marketing slogan, "Takes You by Surprise," even though it was entirely accurate. Read the FTC's full investigation on their own web page at this link. Since those days, Cisco is harder to find outside the slums, although the FTC's demonizing of the drink only bolstered its reputation for getting people trashed. Anyone who overlooks the warning and confuses this with a casual wine cooler is going to get more than they bargained for. Cisco will make a new man out of you. And he wants some too.
Our research shows that Cisco is actually the second best tasting of the five great bum wines, especially if you're having one of those hankerings for cheap Vodka, Jello and Robitussin. We must also note that Cisco is the best of all 5 bum wines at putting the darkest and puffiest bags under your eyes. The nuclear-tinted color of "Cisco RED" is reminiscent of diesel fuel. Most Cisco flavors are named by the fruit flavor that they are trying to emulate, but the one picture is simply called "RED." This chemical disaster will get your head spinning in no time. A test subject reports, "Strawberry Cisco has a bouquet similar to that of Frankenberry cereal fermented in wine cooler with added sprinkle of brandy for presentation." The sticky, sickingly sweet taste with a hint of antifreeze really comes through in the repellant taste of Cisco. Avaliable in various flavors, 375 mL and 750mL sizes. Down a whole 750 mL and you had better be ready to clear your calendar as you suffer through Cisco's legendary 2 day hangover.
