Dear Guy Who Just Made My Burrito:

[cbayer]

Have you ever been to earth?

https://medium.com/comedy-corner/fd08c0babb57



On earth, we use the word “burrito” to describe a tortilla filled with things you eat. Pretty simple stuff, and I’m surprised you at least got that part right. My burrito was, in fact, filled with food. In this, you and I agree and are friends. But this is also where my lifelong hatred begins for you and anyone else whose brain has been repeatedly scrubbed with the same mixture of bleach and Pop Rocks as yours has. Because that should have killed you, but left you around long enough to do what you did to me today. Let me explain:

You’re an idiot.

Let me further explain:

Burritos are eaten from one end to the other. So that means when you assemble a burrito with motherfucking ZONES of ingredients going that direction, you create a disgusting experience for the burrito’s end user. When you make a burrito, you should put the ingredients in layers lengthwise. That way, every bite has AT LEAST A FUCKING CHANCE of getting at least two types of ingredients, and there is little chance of becoming almost hopelessly trapped in a goddamned cilantro cavern.

Have you ever eaten one of the things you make all fucking day? You should try one. They are pretty good WHEN YOU ARE NOT WILLING YOURSELF THROUGH THE FUCKING EMPIRE OF SOUR CREAM ONLY TO END UP IN LETTUCE COUNTRY.

more at link

[highmindedhavi]

1. Sour Cream?

I once offered a non-hispanic co-worker a burrito my wife had made, we being born, raised, and still living in East Los Angeles. He asked if it had sour cream in it. I thought to myself why would a burrito have sour cream? Then I remembered Taco Bell.

[cbayer]

2. My most favorite burrito in the world can be found at a small

restaurant in Denver. It is a beef and sour cream burrito smothered in chili and cheese.

The sour cream is critical!

[blaze]

15. Where? Where? Where?

This inquiring Denverite would like to know!!!

I might even go get one today if you see this post....

[cbayer]

16. Pete's Satire Lounge on Colfax.

I've been going there for over 35 years whenever I am in Denver.

And I have had my burrito brought to me by the same server, who will famously says "This plate is hot" as he places the big plate of cheesy, saucy goodness in front of you.

As I said, my favorite is the beef (ground) and sour cream, but one of my dear friends loves the egg and bean burrito. I love this burrito so much, I have never ordered a single other thing off the menu.

I hope you get to go and would love to hear what you think.

[Warpy]

4. I don't know how Taco Hell stays in business in this town

Here in NM, there are indie taco stands all over the place that have much better fast food than they do. The decor is considerably shabbier, but you can't eat decor.

I haven't been to a Taco Hell since my orientation at my first job here, over 20 years ago, when the coworkers took a vote on where to eat lunch and I lost. I'd rather eat the good stuff.

[eridani]

17. Taco Hell survives in NM?

Totally mindboggling. There are all kinds of taco trucks in South King County (WA), and Taco Time if you want to go to a chain. My favorite truck has a whole panoply of additions to their basic meat and cilantro--onions, cabbage salsa, limes, sliced radishes and sliced carrots. And real hot sauce--red and green varieties. No limit. $1.25 apiece.

[Warpy]

19. I know

and the indie hole in the wall places are cheaper, too. It's still mystery meat but they've never been found adulterating it with filler.

The only thing I can think is that most of the people who travel here or even move here go there because it looks like the one back home.

I don't get it.

[BarbaRosa]

18. I know,

when Taco Hell opened here in Silver City it was a way big event, lines as far as you could see. And it's still going strong. Just a short drive from TB is the Grinder, much better burritos and great menudo.

[Warpy]

20. It took me about two weeks to acclimate

to the different standard in day-core in the local joints but I never looked back.

When I wanted grease and mystery meat, it was a local stand.

[pscot]

3. Righteous rant

[rdharma]

5. I see the problem.......

....... there should have been a layer of onions between the cheese and lettuce in the picture above. Right?

[cbayer]

6. I was thinking tomatoes, but you could be right.

[pinto]

7. LOL

That's great.

[maddezmom]

8. Hilarious!

[Glassunion]

9. A layer of bacon would have resolved the entire experience.

[cbayer]

10. Bacon fixes everything!

[Glassunion]

11. We should all chip in and send some to the house and senate.

Budget would be resolved in 10 minutes.

[cbayer]

12. One big BLT that they can't have until they fix this.

There you go!

[sendero]

13. I'm sure the offended party..

... realizes that this sad turn of events is the alarming result of someone forgetting to turn the burrito 90 degrees before he folded it up

[pengillian101]

14. Or...

Eating it like a cob of corn, typewriter-style?