Bipolar II, mixed episode?

[Neoma]

I have been the most pro-active person on earth lately. I mean, it's gotten so drastic, I did chores, errands, and finished some projects!

I feel like I've gone from blob to being a normal person again. I decided to switch therapists and psychiatrists and I went to my first appointment with my therapist yesterday. I chose her because I knew she actually works with bipolar patients. I made sure of that, because my last therapist didn't know jack.

She said that for one, Wellbutrin works almost immediately and it doesn't take 2 months to kick in, so it's not that. I could be having a mixed episode more on the manic end of the spectrum. OR, the most likely thing: I lost 14 pounds in a short amount of time, and my medicine is having a larger effect on me. Shit.

A lot's been going for me. It's almost my birthday and my present was a drafting table. Having my home clean always cheers me up, and my husband has a strong chance of getting a job soon.

Now, all of that is the good news. Bad news:

I'm constantly shaking, I'm drowsy while feeling like someone gave me an overdose of caffiene, I'm having more hypomanic attacks at night, I can't concentrate on drawing or reading very well, and my emotions are going up and down frequently. As in, I'm bumping up from mania, hypomania and depression within seconds, not minutes.

I don't know why, but what's really scary about all this, is that I suspect that there's no middle ground for me. Like, I can only be either manic or depressed or both, but never content. THAT scares me. That my emotions are stringing me along like a kite with either no wind or tornado winds. Get stuck in a tree? Well then you're fucked, and people have to get you down to try and repair you... With limited success.

[Neoma]

2. Except I'm in the middle of switching psychiatrists.

My regular psychiatrist died from lymphatic cancer, so they basically pushed all his patients to all his collegues. I was pushed to someone who put me on new medicine and I haven't seen him in 4-5 months? I can't see the goddamn doc until this May. Thus, trying to find a new psychiatrist...

[Neoma]

4. No.

[elleng]

6. Good to hear this help is available, Mover.

[libodem]

7. Hang in there

Sorry to hear you are struggling. Bless you. Hope you find relief soon. Wish I had some magic words that could bring you insights into the problem and all would be fixed. One step at a time in the right direction will help get you there. It's a process.

[GreenPartyVoter]

8. Hmmmm... Some meds I have tried sent me into rapid cycling. Definitely get that checked out

when you can.

[Neoma]

9. Is that what it's called?

It's new to me.

[GreenPartyVoter]

10. It could be. Could be hypomania or a mixed state, but the way you are talking about bouncing from

one to another so fast makes me also consider rapid cycling.

But I'm no expert, so check with a doc. (Here's a great website to check out about it: http://www.psycheducation.org/depression/Waves.htm )

[fizzgig]

11. i'm assuming you're on a mood stabilizer in addition to the anti-depressant

i used to cycle really rapidly when i was only on an anti-depressant, with hypermania being the primary state.

i know how you're feeling, there is a middle ground out there, but it is agony waiting and trying to find it. what are your exercise and eating routines looking like lately? i've noticed that my concentration is pretty well shot compared to what it used to be, don't know if it's me or the fact that i've had to multitask so much for so long or what, i just know that i have a hard time focusing on just one thing at a time now.

when do you meet with the new therapist?

i'm here if you ever need to talk.