How to get through a nervous breakdown?

[Locut0s]

Well I posted my introduction some weeks ago here:

http://www.democraticunderground.com/1151713

You can read that for the full details but at that time I had recently quit my last job due to anxiety and was looking for something simple like a grocery store job. Well I did manage to get a produce stocking job at a local store but that job only lasted a day for me. I came home from that and had a bit of a mental breakdown (couldn't stop crying the whole day). Since then it's been down hill with every day filled with tons of anxiety. I have no job right now and I'm living at home with my parents (you can see my introduction thread for more info on that). I've contemplated checking into the hospital on several occasions. Though according to my psychiatrist they would not likely admit me since I'm not suicidal (though I do have suicidal thoughts some days). I can't stop my mind from going over the same territory over and over again (being a 29 yr old living at home off his parents with no job or life skills not future etc) and the thought of the future paralyzes me. I am seeing a psychiatrist currently who has me on Cipralex (Lexapro in the US) and Xanax when I need it. I've been through 3 or 4 different SSRIs in the past few months looking for one that works. He doesn't offer any real therapy though, mostly just medication adjustment. I don't have extended health care right now and Canadian Universal Health only covers a psychiatrist, not a psychologist. The only things I've managed to stick to so far are one night course that I've been taking and a driving lessons course to get my full license. I managed to do a presentation in that night course the other night which has helped my anxiety the last few days which is good. But I'm still mostly stuck at home sleeping most days, terrified of life. I don't know how to move forward from here. How to get past this hurdle. I don't feel together enough to do a job right now. I've signed up for school again in Sept but I fear I will not be well enough by then to go. I'm just at a complete loss for what to do and I'm an emotional mess.

[EFerrari]

1. What does your doctor say about your emotional condition relative to his prescriptions?

(Because getting "even" comes before deciding what to do with the rest of your life, no?)

And that is his job, to help you regain some kind of balance.

[Locut0s]

2. Thanks for the reply. He thinks I'm doing a little better on the Cipralex but...

he keeps recommending additions and changes. I suppose of the different medications I've tried this IS the best so far but I'm still no where near well. All I want to do is hide from the world and I've been effectively doing just that most of my 29 years. I suppose my parents make it easy for me to do so as well, allowing me to live off them. But then without their support I think I'd be on the street right now.

[EFerrari]

4. How long has it been since the last change?

Depending on the meds, it can take up to 4 weeks to show you the full benefit.

And it sounds like you'd like a therapist to help you process what is happening. Even if you don't have coverage, there may be resources near you that can be tapped - through a university, a church or community services.

Now may not be the time to add up how much your parents are helping. That's what families are for, anyway. Later on, when you feel better, there will be time for all of that.

If you want some help digging up services in your community, I'll be glad to give it a shot. And this forum can be helpful, too, if you need to unload a little.

[Locut0s]

5. I've been on Cipralex now for about 2+ weeks...

Yes I know the time delay with SSRIs. Though my psychiatrist said that now that my body has been primed with the other SSRIs I've been trying that it shouldn't take as long to notice the effect of the new one(s). I've signed up for group therapy through a local place that IS covered. However they will only give you a few one on one sessions then put you into group therapy. I feel I would like more one and one therapy with someone. Thanks for the kind offer but I'll ask my psychiatrist the next time I see him to see if there are any other options as well.

[EFerrari]

7. That sounds like a good plan.

In my case, although I was willing to do group work, I don't think it was very helpful to my set of issues, particularly around the boundary work. In fact, sometimes I think the group work caused more problems than it helped because I didn't have that internal map of what is too close, too distant, too demanding, reasonable, unreasonable and that type of thing. So when the boundary violations rolled in as they always do in groups, I didn't have good strategies to deal with them.

[Lisa D]

3. I'm sorry that you're suffering.

I know what paralyzing anxiety is like. You sound like you might be in a loop of negative/distorted thinking, which comes with the territory and usually makes anxiety and depression worse.

My wish for you is that you could find a good therapist/psychologist who could work with you on some cognitive therapy. Perhaps you or someone close to you could see if there's a psychologist who would consider minimum payments or a sliding scale fee. Even just three or four appointments might be valuable for you.

I do want to recommend a book that I found incredibly helpful. It's called "The Feeling Good Handbook" by Dr. David Burns. It addresses anxiety, depression and fears/phobias with a cognitive therapy approach. It's over 600 pages long, but well worth the read.

[Locut0s]

6. Thanks for the recommendations. There is another book that was recommended to me...

some years back by a therapist called "Dying of Embarrassment"

http://www.amazon.com/Dying-Embarrassment-Social-Anxiety-Phobia/dp/1879237237

At that time the therapist refused to see me because I was drinking (I am no longer right now).

[EFerrari]

8. Doug and I worked through a great deal of that book at the kitchen table

when he had no team and I was desperate. It helped.

[MadrasT]

9. I will offer a third voice of support for Burns

"Feeling Good" and the companion book "The Feeling Good Handbook" have really helped some people close to me (including myself at one time years ago).

[fizzgig]

10. mine sent me to the psych hospital and it was the best thing i've ever done for myself

it reset my thinking and gave me some perspective. i can't tell you exactly what i learned while i was in there, but i know that i see things differently now.

good luck to you