Hi, DU friends. Checking in, doing well!
Hey, gang. I haven't been able to really post the past couple of days. Been super busy. It's all good.
Interesting events. Primarily revolving around my family. We had an epic blowup Sunday/Monday/Tuesday. Things really came to a head with my sister. She took grave offense at two trivial remrks I made Saturday, became quite nasty with me via e-mail Sunday, and we had a brief but ugly confrontation Tuesday night. I fully admit I really lost my temper, I said things in an inappropriate way, but I do not regret what I said, it needed to be said.
I feel really bad for her. She is almost 60, and has no real life, terrible workaholic but claims to hate her job, has become increasingly irritable, has gained at least 100 pounds from her normal weight since her 30's. But most of all, she has been acting like ... Me at my bipolar best. If I am bipolar, so is she. And it makes me sad to think she lives her life in depression and anxiety, with the same kind of excess energy I have, yet poured into her job. Breaks my heart, really. I hope I can repair our relationship, and eventually be strong enough to help her. After I help myself, I can't help anyone else until I heal myself.
And guess what, I AM healing. Even with the blowup, I feel better and better. My therapist, to whom I am incredibly grateful, said it was a combination of drugs and my own hard work. Which made me feel good about myself.
I do feel better about myself. Been having really good workouts, both group and with the trainer, and on my own. I got up early today because I had no gym this morning and had the day off work due to dr's appt with the neurologist to try various masks for sleep apnea and therapy later, had a great ride, and figured out what it takes not to freeze to death doing it, 6 layers on top, including 2 sweatshirts, and 3 on the bottom, track pants, sweats, and then lined breathable nylon pants over that. Great ride, 15 miles.
Also had the best couple of days at work in many months. Got a lot done, can concentrate, feel "normal" and useful again.
Got a lot of yard work done Saturday, which made me feel good, too.
My next Tuesday schedule is super busy as well, so I VOTED THIS MORNING via absentee ballot at our township hall. Michigan doesn't have early voting per se, but you can get an absentee ballot and vote on the spot. I voted straight part Republican, go Mitt! JUST KIDDING! I really would be insane if I did that. Made me feel good to vote for Team Obama and our Senator Debbie Stabenow, who did an incredible job keeping Detroit in business disputing the economic crisis, saving probably a half million auto industry jobs in Michigan. Monday, I have the appt with the new pdoc. Hope I like her and feel I could work with her.
I chalk my feelings last week up to the way the whole thing went down, it was a temporary setback, that happens. Psyching myself up, feeling good physically, seeing results in the gym and at home and work.
And I am still also incredibly grateful beyond words for the love, kindness, and support of each of you on this forum. I'll say it again, DUers are the best.
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The family confrontation HAPPENED, and you're HAPPY!!!
