We demand that women live in fear and behave impeccably to avoid 'asking for it'
We demand that women live in fear and behave impeccably to avoid 'asking for it'
Kate Harding
In an extract from her book, author Kate Harding explains how women order their lives around the fear of rape – and of being blamed for not preventing it.
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The author, Kate Harding, spent years researching and defining “rape culture”. Photograph: Patty Michels
One summer night, while I was working on my book, my friend Molly walked her greyhound over to my house for a writing date. Earlier that day, my husband had driven to Indianapolis on business, so Molly and I sat in my living room with our dogs and our laptops, drinking tea and clacking away for hours. It was lovely.
Around 11pm, Molly asked me for a lift home, per our usual routine when she visits my apartment, about a mile away from hers. But when I went to grab the car keys, they were missing. I checked all of my pockets and a couple of purses, to no avail.
. . . .
This is why I have no patience for anyone who insists that women must learn self-defense moves and memorize lists of specious advice to prevent our own victimization. We’re already calculating risks and taking reasonable precautions every day. We don’t often talk about that in public, though, lest we be accused of letting fear control our lives, of being completely irrational about the relatively minor statistical risk of being attacked by a stranger.
It’s a maddening catch-22. If we get assaulted while walking alone in the dark, we’re told we should have used our heads and anticipated the danger. But if we’re honest about the amount of mental real estate we devote to anticipating danger, then we’re told we’re acting like crazy man-haters, jumping at shadows and tarring an entire gender with the brush that rightly belongs to a relatively small number of criminals.
. . .
http://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2015/sep/17/kate-harding-asking-for-it-extract-rape-culture
