“I wish we talked about ‘choices’ instead of ‘choice’”

[Novara]

“I wish we talked about ‘choices’ instead of ‘choice’”: A Texas abortion counselor on how to change the conversation about abortion

Even allies oversimplify by reducing the debate to “abortion on demand, without apology” vs. "safe, legal & rare"

<snip>

Even our allies are torn. On the one hand we have “abortion on demand and without apology” and on the other we have “safe, legal and rare”—the sense that every abortion is a tragedy. These positions are oversimplified, and they miss the point. Some women are single-minded and clear about what they want, and they just need their self-determination respected. On the other side of the spectrum are women who are deeply troubled and struggling with what to do about their pregnancy.

What abortion providers bring to the political conversation is a recognition of this spectrum and an honoring of the fact that the issue is not abortion so much as it is the reality of women’s lives: What kind of insanity permits the same people who want no access to abortion or birth control to also gut every program to support families, to care for children, to make sure no one goes to bed hungry? How can this level of hypocrisy be permitted? This I still don’t understand.

<snip>

If a counselor was working with a woman and had a sense that she was not prepared for an abortion that day, we invited her into a process. We never said you are not ready for an abortion, because that is a judgment. We said, from the conversation, we are not prepared to provide you with an abortion today.

This was quite a process. We used a triage form designed to help identify which women were clear and confident about their choices and which women had significant choices that they needed to work through as part of coming to a sense of resolution.

By sense of resolution, I mean that her heart breaks open wide enough to accept those contradictions that I was talking about. I mean that she can forgive herself for being human; that she can on most days remember her goodness and courage; that she can stand the days that she might feel guilty or bad; and that she will understand in her gut the complexity of her choice to not bring new life into the world and in fact to end life. This is controversial even within the pro-choice movement because we don’t know how to talk about the life and death part of abortion.

http://www.salon.com/2015/06/05/i_wish_that_we_talked_about_choices_instead_of_choice_a_texas_abortion_counselor_on_how_to_change_the_conversation_about_abortion/

[marym625]

1. K&R

As soon as the word "rare" is added to the "safe and legal" there is a nasty connotation put on abortion. An absolutely unnecessary stigma. Even if the message is supposed to be that all forms of birth control should be easy to access, it isn't what comes through.

The message should be that the government has no business in our business. That control of our bodies belongs to us. Keep your laws out of our bodies.

It's a fight that we should not have to fight.

K&R

[Novara]

2. EXACTLY!

But it's a fight we WILL fight.

And another thing: making exceptions for abortion also places a value judgment on it. Saying abortion should be illegal except in cases of rape or incest classifies "acceptable" abortions and "wrong" abortions. Either a woman has the full right to termination or she does not. Let's take all the goddamn wishy-washyness out of it entirely. A woman has the right to terminate her pregnancy up to viability, that's a constitutionally-protected right. Let's get back to basics here.

[marym625]

3. absolutely

I am so sick and tired of this fight.

I remember watching a documentary about abortion. Can't remember the name of it. But it showed what happens around the world. I remember watching the part about India. Like a factory line. But the main point was that our laws about abortion are based in religion, in Christianity. And that has no place in our laws.

There is an even bigger issue with the laws across our country. The more liberties taken from us and given to the government, the more likely laws will start creeping up into other areas of our lives. Big brother is everywhere. Soon, we will have to ask permission to use the restroom, just like transgender people already do.

[Novara]

4. You're right about creep

Look at the "conscience" clauses and "religious freedom" laws. And aren't 6 of 9 SCOTUS justices Catholic? I have a real problem with that, because it's abundantly clear they have no concept of separation of church and state as it might apply to their own decisions (Hobby Lobby). KEEP RELIGION OUT OF MY POLITICS!

[marym625]

7. yep

And it's been made clear in other religious decisions by this court.

[fizzgig]

5. i once posted in gd about my issue with "rare" being used in the context of abortion

a vocal faction shouted that they want it to be rare because it is an invasive procedure and they want all invasive procedures to be rare. way for them to miss the point that it still splits abortions into "good" and "bad" or being for the "right" or "wrong" reasons.

i have been told (by people here) i should be sterilized when i say i would get an abortion in a heartbeat. i was on the pill from the time i was 16 to when i got my first iud at age 22 (gods bless planned parenthood) and am now on my second iud. still, there is a small chance it could fail and, for me, abortion is the only road to take and i am lucky to live in a state where there are no restrictions, waiting periods, ultrasounds or bans. it infuriates and saddens me to no end that not all women are afforded the same rights that i am.

this is not a fight we should be fighting in 2015 and this is an issue where the lioness comes out in me.

[marym625]

6. exactly!

That's horrible about what was said to you here

I have gotten in trouble for saying it's a parasite. Don't really remember if I was chastised here or not but it sure didn't go over well somewhere I posted it.

I agree with everything you said. And yes, they're missing the point completely. Safe and legal, period.

[fizzgig]

8. i use "parasite" in that context

not here, but i'm sure gd would go into complete meltdown over that.

as for what was said to me, i've had worse shit flung my way. what really bothered me is that some anti-choice trolls are given way too much slack.

[marym625]

9. amen to that!

[Novara]

10. Yes, the point about value judgments is often glossed over or ignored

Two points:

1. By saying you want to reduce something and make it rare, you've placing a value judgment on it - that it isn't a good thing, that it needs to be done less for some reason. Doesn't matter the reason - it's still a value judgment (the lack of critical thinking is demonstrated clearly by their argument about making an "invasive" procedure rare).

2. Abortion is already rare in many states, and the anti-women faction is working to make it even more rare. Your right to healthcare should NOT depend on your zip code but for women, it absolutely does. We should not be working to make comprehensive women's healthcare harder to obtain.

Jesus, it isn't rocket surgery.

[fizzgig]

11. both points hit the nail on the head

we should be fighting for expanded access to birth control, sex education and family planning (including abortion), but framing it in the context of doing so to reduce the abortion rate plays into the anti-choice argument that there are too many abortions happening.

[Novara]

12. Exactly.

Women need comprehensive healthcare not in order to reduce abortions, but because they are human beings who are entitled to the same care anyone else may need. In other words, equal protection applies. Or it should.