news flash: santa claus is a woman

[niyad]

NEWS FLASH: Santa Claus is a Woman!

Images-1 **If you believe in Santa Claus you might want to stop reading now. My recent findings might just rock your Christmas world.**

I believe there has been a eons old cover up surrounding Christmas, and more specifically surrounding the revered figure of Santa Claus. All pictures of Santa show a male figure, rotund in shape, with white hair and a full snowy beard. His job is depicted as keeping a list of not only who is good and bad each year, but what they want for Christmas, ensuring each gift is handmade and then delivering them all over the world - in one night.

Well, I'm here to blow his cover. I have discovered - without a doubt - that Santa Claus is a woman. Think about it. No offense to my many male friends, but do you know ANY man who could keep up with the behavior (or even pay attention to?) of all the children in the world AND what they'd want for Christmas? This right here eliminates Santa as a man for me. Most men I know are wandering around a mall one day this week doing some "power shopping" for the one of two gifts they are responsible for. For years my dad shopped for my mom on Christmas Eve. So the idea of any guy planning ahead, and making gifts all year long is clearly ludicrous. Keeping up with all the myriad of Christmas "musts" requires goddess like skills.

Guys, I know this is crushing. Who wouldn't want to be Santa? This Christmas icon whizzes thru the sky at high speeds, racing 747's then rappels off of roofs, dropping down chimneys. And of course, eats lots and lots of cookies. I'll admit that these activities sound slightly more masculine perhaps. After all, my mother always taught me that the way to any man's heart is through his stomach. Most women might be substituting a Diet Coke at all those stops. And we wouldn't want you to leave cookies, as chocolate is our drug of choice. So I'll admit that the public image of Santa makes it easier to believe this favorite Christmas character is male.

But I'm sorry. After planning Christmas parties, family gatherings, thinking about creative and loving gifts, shopping for everyone from kids to teachers, baking hundreds of cookies, wrapping presents, writing cards to everyone we've ever known to wish them a Merry Christmas, and delivering gifts for the past 25 years I've reached the stunning conclusion that it's all a cover up. The domain of Santa Claus - preparing for Christmas, remembering all the details, carrying out all the planning, thinking of all those people to be rewarded or thanked or encouraged, and then organizing this grand event is done all over the world every year by women. Not men. (usually, although I'd be happy to be proven wrong)

So after doing the mad Christmas dash - once again - and LOVIN' IT, I'm here to be the first to break this story. Santa Claus is a woman. And "his" sleigh is a mini-van.

http://aworshipfulheart.typepad.com/a_worshipful_heart/2009/12/news-flash-santa-claus-is-a-woman.html


25 reasons santa claus is a woman:

Why Santa Claus is a Woman
Santa Claus is a Woman Because ...


It has long been suspected that Santa Claus is a woman and she wears the white beard just to keep her face warm during the long sleigh ride. These clues have investigators suspecting that Santa Claus is a woman. Here are the top 25 clues that Santa is a woman.

1. Santa is a woman because she always remembers Christmas - has never forgotten to show up - even once.

2. Santa is a woman because she is terrific at multi-tasking - running a workshop, running a stable of reindeer, organizing what presents go to whom.

3. Santa is a woman because she believes in animal rights. She doesn't hunt reindeer, rather takes care of reindeer.

4. Santa is a woman because she believes in a cooperative workplace - e.g. listens to the elves' suggestions.

. . . .

http://voices.yahoo.com/why-santa-claus-woman-5057490.html

[Blanket Statements]

1. Pssst! Santa was your parent(s)

[bloom]

2. I agree - and it does make a difference, IMO

Having a man being the benefactor for children plus the whole Male God / Jesus thing is all part of propping up the patriarchy.

I recently found out about a Sun Goddess from Russia this year that rode in a sleigh and handed out gifts. Her followers sang that the female Sun (Koliada) was born - on the winter solstice. The forces of darkness had to be cast out with the help of humanity.

See "Mother Russia: The Feminine Myth in Russian Culture". By Joanna Hubbs. It's on googlebooks.com.

[niyad]

3. thank you for that. it is a book with which I am not familiar. adding it to my wish list at the

library.

went to amazon, and a couple of the reviews were quite critical, although others were good. have to wonder if her "feminist slant" was part of what they found so disturbing.

looking forward to reading it.

you are correct, of course, about propping up the patriarchy.