There's A Key Difference Between The Chores Men And Women Take On

[BlueWaveNeverEnd]

Research on the division of household labor has found that men are often in charge of tasks they can do on their own schedule, “while women pick up responsibilities that are difficult to put off or reschedule and inherently forfeit their right to choose when the tasks get done,” author Eve Rodsky wrote in her 2019 book “Fair Play.”

Rodsky refers to these immovable tasks as the “daily grinds” — “time-sucking jobs that must be done regularly, repetitively, and many at a very specific time.”

For example, women in relationships with men tend to be the ones to prepare meals, wash the dishes, make school lunches and do day care or school drop-offs and pickups — all time-sensitive, often inflexible tasks that punctuate their daily routines.

Plus, these responsibilities also tend to be highly repetitive in nature.

The men in these relationships, on the other hand, are often responsible for things like home and car repairs, lawn care and one-and-done type tasks like putting together furniture or installing a new appliance.

“You can determine when you want to do them and you don’t have to do them multiple times a day like with meals or cleaning up,”

https://www.msn.com/en-us/health/wellness/there-s-a-key-difference-between-the-chores-men-and-women-take-on/ar-AA18RTyQ

[3Hotdogs]

1. --- and is this harmful? Or good, because it gets the job done?

I remember, it was in the '70's and was in the faculty dining room. The issue of division of labor, based on gender was being discussed.


I remarked that we have it straightened out in our house. K does the dishes, laundry and stuff. I take out the garbage, mow the lawn, shovel the snow, change the points and plugs on the car (you could actually do that at that time), change the oil, paint the exterior every few years and go grocery shopping.

The reaction at the table was silence.

[willamette]

3. crickets again

It seems to me that each chore can be done by either person, half of the time. Except breastfeeding .... but if expressed milk has been stored, Dad can step right in there, too. I got myself (woman) a pint-sized chain saw. It meant that I could do a lot of those jobs that I thought that I wasn't strong enough to do. I didn't actually use, that saw though, by the time I got it I was so used to being told that I couldn't do it, that I was scared of it. So, I hired a woman hand, and she used it. There are a lot of ways to get muscle-requiring work done with less muscle, like keeping one end of a heavy hay bale on the ground. You can still move it, and get it up to the third level on a stack. My wasband used to sit on the tractor using the idea that only a man can handle this beast, while the kids and I did all of the actual work on the ground. I didn't raise the obvious issue, because he wouldn't help at all if he couldn't just sit on his butt when that was one of the jobs. When cleaning out the barn, he'd appropriate filling the big wheel barrows, because he could do it faster than we could. That left us struggling with the humongous loads to get them out to the dump area, while he shovel-leaned waiting for us to get back. Again, my rationale for tolerating it was that I should be happy he was out there helping at all. This is how the anger builds bit by bit. Just because one gets away with this poor behavior, just because one can gaslight and talk a good story about this poor behavior, it sure doesn't mean we "share alike in the chores." If no one helps me to learn how to work on the car, or actively ridicules and humiliates me when I try to buck the trend, then later, I might be tempted to say, "No, dear, since you're fixing the car, I'll run the vacuum." But in order to share those undesirable over and over again chores, we all need to be given the opportunities and obligations to learn to, and to practice, doing both the sometimes chores and the again and again chores. As an afterthought, it sure wouldn't hurt if good strong tools that fit a medium to small glove size hand were readily available, not necessarily in pink, purple, or turquoise.

[Chainfire]

2. The only tasks that aren't shared, in our household, are the ones that require physical strength.

I would't ask my wife to use the chainsaw, but I don't mind cooking, doing the dishes, or laundry and do so on a regular basis. In fact, I am about to clean out the refigerator and clean the guest bath. (part of the reason I am nursing my coffee and typing here)

[IbogaProject]

4. A natural division is cooking vs doing the dishes

My wife cooks mostly, I do the dishes.

[CCExile]

5. My wife of 40 years and I have always had equality rules,

Such as, "if you cook you don't do the dishes", and if it is your turn to cook, you cook! We each do our own laundry. We took it in turn to stay home with sick kids. There are many more, and they are inviolable, except for illness. We each have things we will and won't do. She won't do windows, but I will. I won't return mispurchased consumer items, but she will. Neither of us have ever wanted a servant. Must be a Unitarian thing 🤔