Breaking the Silence: A Gay Man’s Tale of Surviving Sexual Assault

[xchrom]

http://www.gay.net/news/2012/03/15/breaking-silence-gay-man%E2%80%99s-tale-surviving-sexual-assault

It happened so quickly. A trick I had driven home from the bar. A perfect stranger. I met him because we both agreed to share a table at the crowded club. He wasn’t attractive; in fact, he had no discernible features at all. I remember he seemed nice, but most people were after six or seven martinis. He was even friends with a cute lesbian couple who kept proclaiming they thought I was ‘magical’. I was drunk, and he was persistent, so I took him home.

When we arrived at my house, I became concerned with my decision. Self-doubt began to wash through the sea of alcohol in my bloodstream. I began asking myself questions. Who was this person? What was his name? Do I even find him attractive? I didn’t know the answers to any of these questions, and yet we were naked. The only thing I did know was why I was so keen on getting drunk in order to be with men. A few years ago I had been with a guy, 20 years my senior, who was HIV+ and lied to me about it. It had devastated me and had caused me to abstain from sex for one torturous year before I learned I was negative. Once I found that out, I realized I was terrified of sex. So I gravitated to alcohol.

So in a moment of resolution, shame, and self-loathing, I suggested we stop, get dressed, and go to the bar.

Then it happened.

I suppose he thought he could overpower me. He couldn’t. It happened so quickly that the whole thing seemed like a blur. I was screaming, my fists beating him in any place they could contact. I remember screaming and kicking him out of the house. I immediately broke-down the situation in my mind. It had barely lasted more than a few seconds. This wasn’t anything big. It was a mistake. I wasn’t a victim and if I acted like nothing happened, then nothing happened.

[duhneece]

1. Our small town just produced "In Our Own Voices"

One man told of being raped when he was 16...I told of my abortion...another told of their HIV positive status...we were sharing our stories with our community in a shared, safe environment....very emotionally draining, but very healing.
I'm glad you told your story. I'm even gladder that you were stronger that your attacker.

[msongs]

2. and if you call our police they will put you thru it yet again nt