Looking for some advice on helping people become comfortable with the idea of homosexuality.

[F4lconF16]

When I told my family, it wasn't that big of a deal, for the most part. I ended up telling my dad to go check out this thread: http://www.democraticunderground.com/125545843 and I just said, oh hey, before you read that, you should know I'm bisexual. And he took it just fine, impressively well, actually. He just said okay, and that was that. But other people have had a harder time adjusting to it, mostly because they're uncomfortable with the idea of same-sex sex. Any ideas on how to talk to them about this, or help them to get used to it?

[safeinOhio]

1. It happens for a lot of us when

we find out someone we've known all our life is and has been gay.
If not knowing that there are all types of gay folks, it is hard to grasp. I'm afraid some people think only flamboyant types are gay and miss out on the rest of the community. In other words, education.

[NCLefty]

7. Agreed that exposure is a key part of this.

I never had one person who knew me beforehand give me negativity when I came out to them except my mother, but that's another story.

[The Velveteen Ocelot]

2. Maybe a polite reminder that other people's sex lives

are nobody's business but their own? If the idea of same-gender sex bothers a person, maybe they should spend less time thinking about it - after all, nobody is asking them to do it. What someone does sexually is only a part of their total personality, and it's a part that other people aren't going to see unless they are peeking in bedroom windows, and then it's their problem. I guess my question to people who are hostile toward gay people because they find same-gender sex distasteful or weird always has been, "Why do you care what they do in private? It's nobody else's business, not yours, not mine, and certainly not the government's." That seems like a slightly confrontational approach, but maybe it could get a person to think about why they care so much about something they really have no business caring about at all.

[F4lconF16]

5. I like this idea.

You make a very good point--it's none of their business. I think a slightly confrontational attitude may work best, too. Sometimes it's just enough to get the point across.

Thanks for the response.

[Fearless]

3. Focus conversation more on love and companionship than sex

No one wants to think about their child having sex, no matter who they have it with. With same-sex couplings it is doubly so.

[Bagsgroove]

4. You've already done the hard part

"But other people have had a harder time adjusting to it, mostly because they're uncomfortable with the idea of same-sex sex."

I came out as a teenager in the 1970's and almost everybody was uncomfortable with it, mostly because they thought I was the only gay person they'd ever met. The most common reaction I got was, "but you don't look like one." Yeah.

The amazing attitude change among straight folks in recent years has been mostly driven by the fact that more GLBT people are coming out and not living their lives in secret. When you become aware that your son, or teacher, or the mailman or the dentist is gay, the less it's possible to see "gay" as an abstraction or a stereotype. And it's a self-perpetuating thing--the more gay/bi folks come out, the more attitudes change, and the more attitudes change, the more people feel safe in coming out.

Congrats on doing it. It's one of those small individual acts that helps us all in the long term. As for the people who are not "comfortable" with it...they'll get there or they won't, but you've done the hard part already by coming out.

(There is a wealth of info on coming out and dealing with the various reactions you might get on the PFLAG website.)

[F4lconF16]

6. I'll check the website out.

I'm very thankful that the two areas I've lived in are both rather progressive, and I've only had a few people who have said or done anything anti-gay towards or around me. Very few people are surprised if I tell them, and I've even been lucky enough during the holidays to have relatives who, when asking me if I had a girlfriend, took a second to consider what they said and then asked if I had a boyfriend either.

Congrats on doing it. It's one of those small individual acts that helps us all in the long term. As for the people who are not "comfortable" with it...they'll get there or they won't, but you've done the hard part already by coming out.

Thanks. I'm happy that even if they're not comfortable with it, I am.