What do you do when you have a friend with an eating disorder?

[La Lioness Priyanka]

I am posting this in the lGBT group, because my friend is gay. He is wonderful but I am seriously worried about his eating patterns, which mostly include playing with his food but not actually eating much of it.

For a while, I thought i was searching for a disorder when there was none, but a friend of mine also commented on it yesterday, after a dinner party. Which makes me think that something is really wrong and its not in my head.

[Jackpine Radical]

1. First a few questions--

Do you see any signs of malnutrition (excessively skinny, etc.)?

Recent onset?

Other emotional complications?

If it seems serious, about all you can do is talk to him, express your love and concern. Suggest counseling. Maybe stage an intervention.

And recognize that you can't direct another person's life. (I used to supervise a group of psychotherapists, and from time to time one would express frustration at being unable to attain a therapeutic goal with a client. I had a sort of standard little speech about the need for therapists to avoid "delusions of efficacy.&quot Anorexia in particular is usually a very difficult disorder to treat, and often requires inpatient care.

If you're absolutely convinced that your friend is at substantial risk of self-harm, you could try to initiate an involuntary commitment. However, from my experience of such things, I wouldn't hold out great hope of it succeeding because in most states you have to convince a cop that the person is at imminent risk of harming himself.

[La Lioness Priyanka]

2. i think its happening for a while. no, not malnourished

yes, to other emotional complications.

is there any studies showing that interventions are efficacious?

(also, thank you for responding)

[Jackpine Radical]

5. I saw TygrBright's response, which is a good one.

As for a literature on the effectiveness of interventions, ED's have never really been a specialty of mine, so I would have to do something of a search; however, interventions are not uncommonly used. In addition to Bright's link, you may want to look at this one:

http://health.howstuffworks.com/mental-health/eating-disorder/eating-disorder-intervention.htm

[TygrBright]

3. EDs are serious business...

...and they are very similar to addiction or alcoholism in the nature and course of how the disease affects peoples' lives.

Many resources that are focused on helping someone with an addicted family member/friend will be relevant for you, and may be useful if you can make the mental shift from "drinking/using" to "not eating."

A few ideas:

First, express your concern to your friend, using only concrete examples ("I've shared meals with you three times in the last week and noticed that you at practically nothing at any of them. Also, you appear to be losing a lot of weight quickly, which might indicate a health problem.&quot

Depending on the response you get, you can gauge whether he has a problem, whether he's aware he has a problem, whether he's open to dealing with the problem and/or avoiding awareness or action, etc., and then think about a next step.

If you sense that the problem is real, and he's avoiding awareness and/or action, the next step is to engage with others who care about him, and possibly discuss the appropriateness of intervention.

There are some good resources on the Web connected with EDs, getting treatment, assisting folks in recovery, etc.

Here's an article on an ED intervention, don't know if it'll be helpful or not-- Intervention From the Inside

Will hold you and your friend in the Light. EDs can kill.

helpfully,
Bright

[La Lioness Priyanka]

4. i dont think he has an ED that can kill, at least not yet

but thank you for your thoughtful response and I will look into the interventions