8 Things Straight People Get Wrong About Gay Men

[xchrom]

http://www.alternet.org/sex-amp-relationships/8-things-straight-people-get-wrong-about-gay-men

1. We're all either "tops" or "bottoms."

I never imagined that anyone who isn't gay would even care who's a "top" and who's a "bottom," or that they might not realize that some guys are versatile and others don't enjoy anal sex at all. Then a straight woman recently inquired about the assigned sexual positions of a gay couple in our vicinity. I cringed, not so much at the question itself as the possibility that straight people might be as curious about it as gay guys on Grindr are. She immediately tried to qualify and excuse her curiosity by citing her plethora of gay friends, but the damage had been done to my peace of mind.

***SNIP

2. Finding a great gay guy is easier than finding a great straight one.

Don't be fooled by all the fun you have with us when the drinks are flowing and the music is playing. I'd like to say gay men are more highly evolved than our straight counterparts, and that there's a surplus of quality gay men running around towns, but if that were true, so many of us wouldn't be single. Still, the theory persists among straight women that if straight men embraced more supposedly gay qualities, they'd be better men for it. Be careful what you wish for. I, for one, wouldn't wish some of the men I've dated on anyone, women included.

***SNIP

3. When a woman jokingly says "What a shame/waste" to a gay man, or talks about "converting" us, we should take it as a compliment.

I used to get that all the time in Buenos Aires' mixed "gay-friendly" clubs, and I could never figure out if the women who said it meant a shame for them or a shame in general. Why does it have to be a shame at all? The world shames us enough as it is. There's no need for a female admirer to compound that shame just because she won't be getting lucky (at least not with one of us) tonight.

4. 1 gay man + 1 gay man = 1 potential couple.

They say straight men and women can't be friends. Hollywood even offered a movie (1989's When Harry Met Sally...) based on that point. Gay guys, however, can. Don't automatically assume that the friend I introduce you to, or the one I hung out with the other night is my new love interest — or should be.

[joeybee12]

1. #2 is definitely...unfortunately...a myth

[marginlized]

2. I especially like #8

8. Being gay is all about being gay.

There's so much more to our lives than just being gay, so if you're straight, the next time you're around a gay guy, feel free not to bring it up.

IOW, MYOB!