LGBT
Related: About this forumWhat About the Men? Why Our Gender System Sucks for Men, Too
If you are anything like us, you spent some time when you were younger playing with optical illusions: the vase that, if you looked at it differently, was two faces; the fish that were also birds; the old woman who was also a young lady.
If you were reading this in a book in a bookstore, and some malicious person had not moved it into the Local Birdwatching category, it would almost certainly be next to some other books about gender. (Yes, this is related.) Look at the other books, and youd find they have one thing in commontheyre almost all about women. Women and work. Women and body image. Women and race. Women and sex. Women and feminism.
Youd think that only women have a gender.
For a long time, weve only been able to see half the illusionwe see the birds, but not the fish; the vases, but not the faces. Weve noticed the thousands of ways, big and small, that our current gender system wounds women. Rarely, however, and often only as an afterthought does anyone remark on how the current gender system harms men.
http://www.alternet.org/story/156194/what_about_the_men_why_our_gender_system_sucks_for_men_too?akid=9046.225459.5UWsCt&rd=1&t=2
Smarmie Doofus
(14,498 posts)Of course it sucks for men. And the suckage never... or rarely..... gets talked about or even acknowledged.
You can't fix, or even improve, what is not acknowledged.
libodem
(19,288 posts)Of the internet I'd cross post this to the men's group and to the Feminist group. The 9 pages are discussion worthy.
This is a thought provoking and informative piece. Who knew about the, what was it, kiarchy?
Response to William769 (Original post)
seaglass This message was self-deleted by its author.
Smarmie Doofus
(14,498 posts)>>>The moment one looks beyond the surface, it becomes impossible to come up with something stupid and sexist about one gender that doesnt link directly to something stupid and sexist about another gender.>>>>
My favorite snippet so far in this excellent.... but lengthy... analysis. I'm almost done. (It's been how many days?) Here's more:
>>>One of the central principles weve come to recognize is that, in the binary-gender thinking of most culture, sexist stereotypes always come paired. Generally speaking, any stereotype or assumption about women carries with it an implicit stereotype or assumption about men, and vice versa.
Men have to be the breadwinners
women have to take care of the family.
Men are all slobs
women should be keeping house.
Women need to cover up their bodies or theyre asking to be raped
men are animals who commit immediate rape at the sight of cleavage.
Women shouldnt feel desire for men
men cant be desired by women.
Men always want sex
women never want sex.
Men dont cry
women are hysterical.
Men dont need emotional support
women need constant emotional support.
Women are expected to know how to take care of children
men cant be expected to even know how to change a diaper.
Men who put on makeup are gay
women who dont put on makeup are dykes.
Women are all golddiggers
men are only valuable for their success and money.
Women are only valuable for their looks
men are all shallow.
You can sit all day and come up with sexist tropes about men and women and pair them up. The moment one looks beyond the surface, it becomes impossible to come up with something stupid and sexist about one gender that doesnt link directly to something stupid and sexist about another gender.
Based on this, we have proposed a rule of thumb called Ozys Law: It is impossible to form a stereotype about either of the two primary genders without simultaneously forming a concurrent and complementary stereotype about the other.
Or, more simply: Misandry mirrors misogyny.
This isnt to say that in any given case, the misandry and misogyny are necessarily equivalent. Sometimes they are, other times one or the other definitely predominates. But theyre always paired. Often theyre just an unspoken assumption, something people take for granted as axiomatic, which is why its so difficult to notice the trend.>>>
beyurslf
(6,755 posts)I wasn't sure what to think from the title but knew it would not be some whiny why-do-they-always-hate-men diatribes that are so common. I am glad I took the time to read it.