LGBTers and Allies: How LGBT Friendly is your Community?

[Fearless]

(I mean where you live, not DU.)

6 votes, 0 passes | Time left: Unlimited
	Very supportive
	2 (33%)
	Fairly supportive
	4 (67%)
	Ok, but not great
	0 (0%)
	Pretty bad
	0 (0%)
	Awful
	0 (0%)
	0 DU members did not wish to select any of the options provided.
Show usernames Disclaimer: This is an Internet poll

[Behind the Aegis]

1. Where is the "BWAHAHAHA! Are you fucking kidding me?!" option?

Should I just check Bad?

I guess I can't really complain too much because unlike some places there aren't roving bands of thugs, nor do homophobic preachers really make the news here with their anti-gay rants, so I am unsure how to rate it. NE OK is definitely more repressive than New Orleans!

[Fearless]

10. Duly noted as "pretty bad"/"awful"

[Bluenorthwest]

15. Somehow I forgot you moved from New Orleans...but NE OK?!

I have some ties to that area, I have in fact placed a political lawn sign in Miami. Oklahoma was home to much of my family, going back to territorial times. At least you are used to the humidity, which kept me in a perpetual state of drug like haze and lethargy...

[sagesnow]

2. My workplace is very LGBT friendly but...

I live in a very redneck county in Iowa. It's kinda schizo-land here. Most of the jobs are with the state agency located in this county, but the county is 66% republican, anti-government, anti-tax voters.... Go figure!

[William769]

3. I had to use the pass option

Define community. State? County? City? Neighborhood? Answers kind of different for each one. Yes it's even different right down to the local level.

[Fearless]

4. I would say I intended to mean the place you live in...

The area which you live in out to the distances where you might walk/drive on a daily/semidaily basis. So I suppose I see community as meaning town or small city, or else subsection of a large city.

[William769]

5. Thanks!

Will change answer.

[FreeState]

6. San Diego (City) is very LGBT friendly

Every one of my elected officials support ending marriage discrimination. All 5 candidates for mayor support equality fully. Im out at work and no one cares a bit (there are about 5 LGBT out of 20 employees, all happily out and proud). My neighborhood is 100% supportive.

Seriously, its not as open as San Francisco, but just as supportive IMO.

[Fearless]

7. +1

[Zorra]

8. I live in rural Arizona.

But not too far from Sedona, Jerome, and Flagstaff, all fairly tolerant communities.

Our pride local Pride family maintains a very brave and open presence.

And strangely enough, no one here has ever been directly hostile to me, and I'm pretty open about my orientation.

But I do get some nasty looks, and some of those teeheehee snide little smiles.

[closeupready]

21. Nice to hear that!

That's such an awesomely beautiful area.

[SoutherDem]

9. I said Ok, but not great.

I generally don't have to worry about getting bashed. But, that doesn't mean I haven't been called disgusting, told that I am going to hell, or have had people who wouldn't want to tough me (I had one person tell me they wouldn't won't my blood to save their life).

I have only worked for one company which out right included sexual orientation in their non-discrimination policy, I have been able to be out in all but one job.

However, I do have many supportive friends which make up for those bigots.

So things could still get better, but I have be better than many.

[freshwest]

11. Current state is very friendly and my long-term employer in TX became LGBT friendly in 1974.

[Jamastiene]

12. Awful, sorta. More like in the belly of the beast.

I wish I could give the beast indigestion at least.

I live in a rural area of NC. Rural areas of NC are beyond homophobic. That preacher that recently said to put gay people in electrified fences and leave us all there until we all die...that is fairly typical of how quite a bit of North Carolina's rural areas see things.

So, awful is the closest to my real answer. My real answer is...I live in the belly of the beast. It doesn't get much worse, for America, anyhow. Of course, we know how much worse it is in some countries that believe in executions and other hideous hateful laws.

But, for inside America, I don't think it gets much worse than knowing you are surrounded by people who agree with that preacher mentioned above. And there are plenty who do. Our local news has has some of his parishioners on totally agreeing with him and even some who say that they don't understand why people are upset with him saying it. Made me sick to my stomach. I had thought we were making progress in NC. In the metro areas (the larger cities in NC), we have, obviously. They voted against that hateful unconstitutional Amendment One. In rural areas of NC, it passed almost by a landslide.

Yeah, the belly of the beast would fit perfectly for my specific rural area of NC. That preacher might be in another city further west, but there are a lot of preachers, and non preachers alike, where I live, that have those same kinds of hideous things to say. I believe they would actually do it too, if they had half a chance. I really do. I wouldn't put anything past them.

P.S. There is another town in NC, called Harmony, where they are planning a cross burning and holding some kind of KKK convention there. This state disgusts me sometimes. There are all kinds of really good people here, but those KKK supporting homophobic types just disgust me. This is the freaking 21st century. I cannot believe all of this stuff is going on all at once in this state. It is like an explosion of extremely aggressive hatred and stupidity.

[HillWilliam]

16. Hey, Jas!! It depends on which "rural NC" you live in

Caswell is even more rural than the area around Rocky Mount. Hell, we didn't get DSL until 3 years ago. No cable available, so if you want to watch TV you have to have a "hillbilly sunflower" (aka a dish) in your yard.

Rob and I were really nervous about moving out to Caswell. We looked at houses in Stokes (Reddddddd! and Phoooooooobic!!) County, Rockingham County (ain' nothin' but the klan), Guilford (cool, but expensive to buy in), and Alamance County (klan and neo-nazis... nuh uh).

Then there's Caswell. After the "Klan War" (more like shootin' feuds), the klan got run out of Caswell on a rail. It's about half and half white and African American, with a few Mexicans thrown in for fun. It's blue, heavily Democratic, and pretty laid back. In five years there were only two people we ran into who said anything nasty about us and they weren't from Caswell Co. Folks up here are like, so?

When Rob and I celebrated our holy union (and pig-pickin'... girl, I serious LOL), my cousin who was to be my best lady (and shotgun toter... film at 11 [yes we had video of our shotgun wedding]) got lost and happened to run into a neighbor of mine who lives down the hill a way. He was like, "oh! I know them!! They're so nice. We love having them for neighbors. I can take to you their house. Just follow me!"

We hardly have contact with that fellow, but it meant a lot he was nice to my cousin and nice about us. We love living in Caswell and hold our neighbors in high regard. (Y'know Caswell went for Obama and Brad Miller )

I was raised in west Buncombe County. That's laid-back, friendly, always was. There's a reason LGBT's flocked to Asheville (A She-Ville, as Florida LGBT papers referred to it). It's no longer rural, not like it was, but it was its accepting attitude that encourage LGBTs to move there starting in the 90s.

I graduated high school in McDowell County, just the next over from Buncombe. You couldn't hire my dead body to set foot in that phobic, nut-religion-plagued hellhole again. Fuck a bunch of snake-handlers.

NC has always been schizophrenic like that. You almost have to specify "which" rural NC.

[Jamastiene]

32. The county Racaulk and I are from,

always votes Democratic, but voted, just like he said, 77% in favor of Amendment 1. So, while it is a "blue" county as far as voting for Democrats, it is uber homophobic for the most part.

Where I am is in the southern central part of NC. If you look on the map, it's not really close to the beach, but it's not in the foothills of the mountains either. I love the mountains here, but can hardly ever go.

Asheville, I have always seen as a larger town. My entire county has less than 50k people in it and the city is only about 11k people.

I see what you mean though, but it still seems like the counties with the named cities (cities that are "on the map" so to speak) are the ones that voted against Amendment 1 and the rest of the state went sharply for it.

[HillWilliam]

35. That's what happened in Caswell, too, I'm sad to report

What mystified me is as much as we're known and recognized, nobody has ever been the least untoward. Caswell has less than 20k people; the largest town, Yanceyville, only has 2300. Y'all are the Big City compared to us

They have nothing against us; nothing against LGBT people in general. I think they had no idea what effect it's going to have.

I've got lots of cousins your way, from Washington to about half of Tyrrell County. (Columbia is even smaller than Yanceyville.) You might have even met one or two.

[racaulk]

18. Every word of this is the truth.

Everything you describe is why I left immediately after high school and never looked back. It's also why, in the rare instances that I step foot inside of a church, it's always an intimidating and nerve-wracking experience.

When my father died last year, it was the first time I had gone home in seven years ... and I never missed being there. I know that's an awful thing to say about your home, but it's the truth.

No place is perfect, but where you live is probably among the worst for an LGBT person that I can imagine (in the United States, at least). Being surrounded by fundamentalist Protestants who see you as little more than a sinning, perverted deviant who is in need of redemption, through whatever means possible, is truly frightening.

Wishing you lots of strength...

[HillWilliam]

24. To tell the truth

That's why I joined the Army and left NC. I felt I had a better shot at being myself in the Army than I did in McDowell County. Well, as it worked out that was the truth I stayed gone for 25 years.

Then mom got cancer, then got elderly, so that brought me back to Asheville. Gawd we dearly loved Asheville for its beauty, culture, laid-back attitude, and low cost of living. Unfortunately, there was nothing around there for me to find employment; no tech, no development, etc. So we reluctantly moved to Greensboro, which all-in-all wasn't too bad a trade at least for an out couple.

When we went house-hunting, that's when we ran into trouble. It took 3 years to find a place with a reasonable price tag (well within our budget) and in a county where we wouldn't get deaded for being an out couple. Stokes, Surry, Rockinham, much of Forsyth, and Alamance Counties, there ain't enough money in the world to get me to live there. Caswell is a whole-nother story.

We have one neighbor family we can see. They're totally awesome. They have two kids. The wife often asks us if we'll keep an eye out for them when her older one is sitting with the younger. They're like brother and sister to us. Even the neighbors down the hill are more than cool -- they're very supportive. I've performed two weddings for the extended family that lives over that way. They know. They don't care. All of us take care of all of us.

No, you don't find that everywhere. But it can be found if you look for that little blue island in a sea of red.

[racaulk]

25. I actually used to live in Asheville!

I went to Western Carolina University and lived in Asheville for a time while I was finishing school. I know exactly what you mean about the lack of opportunities for employment there. After graduating I had a tough time finding a good job there, and that's the main reason why I left and moved to Atlanta. But Asheville really is a lovely town, a quirky place that is unlike anywhere else I have visited (although Portland, OR has a similar "vibe&quot . I miss living there terribly.

McDowell County? My sympathies, there is no way I could live there.

Jamastiene and I are from the same county, which earlier this month passed Amendment One with a vote of 77%. So clearly there are progressive and fair-minded people there, but they are by far in the minority. Any community can be what you make of it and it's true that not all rural communities are the same, I just think it's especially tough there.

[HillWilliam]

30. My folks are originally from Asheville and Black Mountain

I was raised in Asheville until I was 12 (actually Leicester, when Leicester was no more than Doc's country store and a post office annex, way up a little 2 lane road). Then we lived in Shelby, Ft Mill (SC), then Charlotte. I damnear had a stroke when I found out we were moving to Marion.

Worst. Fucking. Hole in NC. Nothing but fundies.

I remember my first day of high school. A really-really cute guy I had been watching approaches me. My heart's in my throat. We exchange names. The very next thing out of this mouth was, "Are you saved?"

Right then, I knew it was going to be a long three years. Evidently you understand very well why the Army was a better place for me.

My aunt taught at WCU a few years. Small world.

[Jamastiene]

33. Thank you, Racaulk.

And what you are saying is the truth. The place has so much potential, yet the locals seem to be satisfied to stay full of hatred and ignorance.

Did you know the only homeless shelter here will not allow women inside? Only men are allowed. They even allowed a man from another county who happened to get stranded here overnight after a job he had in the county ( thought there were hotels for that), but no women allowed at all. I wrote a LTTE in the local paper about it. When I saw that, I was dumbfounded. I knew the place was bad, but that's just how much worse it has gotten in recent years. It is literally going backwards.

[Smarmie Doofus]

13. It still sucks if you ask me.

I'm in NYC. No one's trying to murder me in the street. Everything ( homophobia-wise) is subtle and/or passive.

But it still seems all-pervasive. Adults ignore the topic entirely; if they are pressed they are superficially "tolerant". But silence =death.

Juveniles have incorporated the word "gay" into the vernacular as a synonym for "inferior" or "contemptible". Gay kids still have to hide their sexuality and most lgbt adults will prefer to get thru the workday day w/o having to discuss their lgbt status because it makes some people uncomfortable.

I voted "pretty bad". Again, no one's trying to kill me on the street. But someone on a crowded 44th street, two Saturday nights ago urged my friend and me ( a pretty mainstream-looking duo, I gotta say) as follows: "Will you fags move a little faster?"

Well... something like that hadn't happened to me personally in twenty years but the point is it still out there and it sucks.

[closeupready]

23. Was this 44th on the east side?

And I ask only because of all the neighborhoods in Manhattan where I envision this happening is on the east side, which has always seemed really suburban. I mean, I know the Rockefellers and Vanderbilts lived there AT ONE TIME, but Anderson lives in the West Village now and the UES is just another area where working people live (outside some very, very, very small enclaves like Sutton Place, for example).

[Smarmie Doofus]

27. No. W44th between B'way and 8th. Ave.

More or less the Holy Land for lgbt's ( esp. g's). Theater district, for out of towners.

Crowded sidewalks, just prior to show time. Friend had tickets to The Best Man revival. ( Gore Vidal! I am not worthy.) Area packed w. tourists, suburbanites and Manhattanites as well as an assortment of others. Somewhat scruffy looking guy made the remark. Looked like he was not looking for a play but trying to get thru the dense crowds. ( It was the first summer-like Saurday nite of the season.)

Locale doesn't mean much to me. We we're one long block from ( 9 Ave... which has developed into sort of the main commercial drag of the gay ghetto-ish area that the W40s and 50's seem to ahve evolved into.) Antagonism towards glbt's and the big H itself is all over.

I live in Riverdale... which is on the oustskirts... and is very unghetto. If I recall, you're in Queens?

[closeupready]

29. oh, that IS remarkable.

And sad. I stick to the gayest of the gay areas and gathering spots; if I need to venture outside those realms, I put on my war paint and coat of armor.

It's funny, I was recently reflecting on the stereotype of the brash, loud and obnoxious New Yorker. I doubt those of us who came here from elsewhere aspired to THAT, we probably aspired more towards something 'better' (as we each define it), but over time, the stereotype begins to show its appeal, and it's difficult to resist adopting some of those characteristics, as they can help one survive.

XXXOOO to Smarmie Doofus!!!

[Smarmie Doofus]

39. Backatcha, Closeup. I've always preferred non-ghetto, mixed...

... social and residential settings myself. I feel I'm more than my sexual orientation and the larger culture continues to insist that it defines me.

Bullshit. It defines a *part* of me; a completely natural and normal part of me but still ... only a *part* of me.

The trick is being involved in the larger community and not compromising one's identity at the same time. I guess that's why the subtle, hands-off attitude of the mainstream toward this entire subject bothers me more than blatant homophobia... which , outside of school settings ( i.e. among kids; I'm a teacher.), I really don't see very often.

What one doesn't talk about is often more significant than what one does talk about. That superficial tolerance covers-up a lot of primitive attitudes. They are therefore harder than hard to change. Because the issues never really get dealt with. You can't re-evaluate what you don't acknowledge.

[tjwmason]

14. I voted fairly supportive, but was somewhere between that and very

At work very good - there are plenty of out staff and students, I sit on the institution's Equality & Diversity Committee (at least two other gay men are on it too), there is proactive promotion of equality (as required of all U.K. public sector bodies), we've recently affiliated to Stonewall (http://www.stonewall.org.uk), the workplace bullying & harrassment policy makes explicit mention of LGBT based bullying or harrassment...

The location is mostly very relaxed and a gay/lesbian couple wouldn't attract much attention...though there are a few places where I wouldn't feel ready to be open.

[RKP5637]

17. I marked "Ok, but not great." That's if you keep your mouth shut. I would

never be open here, this is Kansas. The people aren't banging at our door, but then again they know nothing. We don't seem to have openly nutty preachers in this area. It's eastern KS so less ultra-conservative. At the state level, they would like to have you in jail as a criminal if it weren't for the Texas decision. And, we have a severely homophobic governor, and I imagine most of the state legislature is the same.

[closeupready]

19. New York generally is more accepting than most anywhere else.

Always has been, which is part of why I came here.

In my particular neighborhood, however, it's ethnic, 3rd World and college people, so there's not much going on with that which you couldn't find in any other metropolitan melting pot. And occasionally, it makes me feel just as isolated and imprisoned as back home where I grew up.

So I had to vote Pass.

[racaulk]

20. Very supportive

Georgia on the whole is quite conservative, but Atlanta (for the most part) is far more progressive than the rest of the state. I have been able to carve out a community for myself here which is incredibly supportive, and being "out" is never an issue. I consider myself very lucky.

[BillStein]

22. A college town, suburb of Philadelphia

My home is an oasis of liberalism in the repug wasteland of Delaware County

[Iggo]

26. Whittier, California.

Fairly supportive.

I haven't witnessed a "very supportive" community outside Hollywood.

Not saying they don't exist, but I've lived in SoCal for fifty years and that's my experience.

[stevenleser]

28. Seems very friendly to LGBT in NYC

I see a lot of LGBTIQ couples walking around holding hands and enjoying themselves.

It's true some neighborhoods are better than others. I get the chance to spend time in chelsea and Greenwich village every once in a while and obviously the area around where the old stonewall inn once stood (Christopher Street, 7th ave, waverly, Washington Pl etc.) is super LGBTIQ friendly. Tons of LGBT bars and clubs and coffee houses.

Edited to add: All of you in areas unfriendly to LGBTIQ folks should just move here! Your fellow LGBTIQ and ally DUers will show you around!

[RZM]

31. I live in one of the most LGBT-friendly areas in the whole state

Although I'm not a member of the community myself, I really like it here.

I've actually wondered what percentage of residents here are LGBT, but I've been unable to find any data. City-wide the number is close to 7 percent, but most LGBT residents seem clustered in a few separate areas. I'd be very surprised if my neighborhood was less than 35 percent LGBT. My guess would be it's closer to 50 percent.

It's the very definition of a chic and gentrified downtown area. 30 years ago it was a dump.

[mitchtv]

34. Cathedral City, CA is fairly supportive

It is a bedroom for Palm Springs which is extremely gay friendly, CC is les afffluent, but almost as gay . My block for example is more than 50% gay( single family homes), But that doesn't mean you won't get your asskicked if you are out at night. Thugs abound in Calif, and if I did still "go out", I would be armed.neighbors are all pretty cool . CC is an island of blue in red riverside county.

[pinto]

36. Very supportive, save for a few 'outliers'.

[Broken_Hero]

37. Its pretty damn awful

SW Missouri here, republican/bible belt hell....

[Fearless]

38. Aww! Still have all of us though!

[Call Me Wesley]

43. Hey!

Just sayin'

Hope it will get better. I saw the bible belt and I have to say I was not impressed.

[Rowdyboy]

40. Very hard question-overall rural Mississippi is awful-in our case-not so much.....

We live in a historic district with a solid neighborhood association so we know most everyone in a 3 block area. We are active members of a small Episcopal church where we're very well treated and last year we hosted the neighborhood Halloween costume party for adults (we've been asked to do it again this year).

State government is sickening-local government just as bad, but I've never lived in a community this accepting. It is a paradox, but one that I'm happy to survive in.

[Prism]

41. San Francisco East Bay.

Truly terrifying.

Actually there's not much LGBT related things happening here. It's all in the city. So I don't see much difference from, say, suburban Chicago. (And no one, but no one, from SF is coming to East Bay to hang out. I might as well live in Nevada). It's pretty here, but socially I could easily leave it.

[Call Me Wesley]

42. Very supportive. They don't care.

Even I live in a Catholic state, they have to uphold federal law. Yes, of course there are the occasional old geezers who shake their heads and make little fists (perhaps they do it to get the lost brain-flow going, I dunno,) about what the World has come to. Funny enough, they once believed that tomatoes will grow really big and tasty if planted next to a nuclear power plant.

You just don't hear of hate crimes here. It's supportive, because it's just normal.

Okay, I live in Switzerland.

[irisblue]

44. columbus ohio here.

june 15 2011 is our 30th pride march, sponsored by stonewall columbus. this year the mayor, michael coleman, will be grand marshall. this won't hurt him politically. the festival will run 3 days, likely 200,000+ people will pass thru. that said, hate crimes happen. there is a post in this group about a recent one. one of the strengths of this community IMHO is that many of the foremothers and forefathers were deliberately female/male balanced leadership group, several were female law professors from ohio state university, several men were active in parenting groups. the LGBTQ community is large and diverse. there are sections of columbus where i will hold ms wonderfuls' hand or walk with arms around each others' waist, and there are sections where we won't. the state as a whole, makes me nauseated. in2004 rove used a very anti gay amendment to the state constitution to push shrub up and over. there is currently a petition being circulated for marriage equality in the state, despite the current creep of a sec of state attempts to prevent it.
i've lived i columbus since 89, and i really don't know about the other areas of the state.

[TheCruces]

45. I'd consider it fairly supportive

My city has a GLBT center, there's a decent amount of GLBT-friendly events, I work in a very gay-friendly environment. But there's no gay marriage or civil unions.

But I would consider it gay-friendly.

[Amimnoch]

46. Very Supportive here.

Legally married, and recognized by the government.

Full dependent status and benefits for my partner by my company.

My co-workers, manager, and employees adore my partner, and we're fully involved in social events with full acceptance. Heck just last night we went to a dinner that we were invited to at one of the venders homes for a "curry night". Only gay couple there, but the banter was absolutely comfortable, respectful, the wives of the group absolutely adore him, and often do things during the days with him. I've never even gotten a HINT of discomfort from any of the guys I work with.

We walk the beach in the evenings together hand in hand, and even though there really is no real gay population here to speak of, it doesn't bring stares, glares, or offhanded comments.. it does regularly get a smile and a nod though.