In Latest Data on Economy, Experts See Signs of Pickup.

[elleng]

Despite the recent run of disappointing economic data, a broad range of experts and forecasters expect the economy to improve slightly in coming months, thanks to lower oil prices and new signs of life from sectors like automobiles and housing.

Call it a firming up, if not quite a comeback.

Economists at many of the most-watched forecasting organizations, both public and private, expect growth to pick up through the summer and into the fall, although only to a pace broadly considered sluggish, if not dismal. . .

The lower gas prices “will take a few months to show up” in consumer spending and confidence numbers, said Mr. Prakken of Macroeconomic Advisers. But it should lead to higher sales for businesses and greater optimism among households.

James Bullard, the president of the Federal Reserve Bank of St. Louis, said that he saw “modestly improving economic growth during the second half of 2012, along with a slow and intermittent decline in unemployment,” when he spoke in London this week. . .

“I do think that the economy is stronger than the recent data would suggest,” said Mark M. Zandi, the chief economist of Moody’s Analytics. “We’ve had the numbers say underlying job growth is at 80,000 jobs a month, where we could see 150,000 jobs a month. Or G.D.P. at 2 percent, where it’s really at 2.5 percent. That will become evident later in the year.”

Some economists pointed to private forecasts showing a stronger June than the one depicted in government reports. A Bureau of Labor Statistics survey showed that employers added just 80,000 new positions that month — not enough to bring the unemployment rate down from its elevated rate of 8.2 percent.

But a closely watched monthly survey showed that private sector employers added a strong 176,000 jobs in June.

http://www.nytimes.com/2012/07/13/business/economy/in-latest-data-economists-see-signs-of-pickup.html?hp

[Po_d Mainiac]

1. That 'pick-up' on the sign

Is nine years old. Has rusted rocker panels, a burnt valve, plus the frames' bent.

The Last two occupants abandoned it on their way to apply for a couple McJob openings that had 666 applicants.

[mother earth]

3. What he said...

[westerebus]

4. I seed that pickup the udder day.

the boys from the Mayberry fire-rescue squad and the Walton Mountain smoke eaters had it all surrounded like. Seems it had sprung a leak. So bein they was all haz-matted trained and all, they called it in to the FEMA. Well, the FEMA asked if they knew BP? Well, they asked around and no, they didn't. They knew Bubba, PJ and a Po, but no BP. So the FEMA said was they plannin' on doin a Hal E Burton or did they have any PR set up? That lead to some confusion. It was decided right then and there to thank the FEMA very much and do a work around.
Now a work around is when you don't have to do some thing just right, it just needs a little fixin. So bein the FEMA didn't say not to, well that's as good as sayin, maybe. Which is good enough.
the boys got some old horse manure that Bubba had piled up, cause he got some fine horses, and some burlap bags that PJ had cause he sells grain, ceptin for what he uses for mash, and a bunch of saw dust from Po, cause he don't never cut a board straight the first time, and they mixed it all together, the horse shit and the saw dust that is. You can't mix it any other way unless you one o'them federal permits and they didn't. And they put it in the sacks and everybody was all cussin' cause Bubba and Po got into a fartin contest..
So any way, they put up the sacks round that there pick up all right and proper like and that sucked up most of what runned out. Bein' it was hot and all, they decided to go on up to Red's place for a sit down and that's when PJ pulled out some mash drippins.
I don't rightly recall what happen after that.

[Po_d Mainiac]

5. Really?

Funny you left out the real reason for all that fluid on the ground. Hmm. The way I heard it, you and Hawk-Eye were out fixin to poach a whitetail so he and his cousin (I mean wife) could grocery up the kids. (Someday that boys’ gonna wonder why half the rug rats he’s feeding look like you)

Now I don’t know for a fact you had a fire goin in that funny pipe you keep stashed in the glove box, but how else you gonna splain thinking the fancy hood ornament on that pick-up wood make a good meal?

Now I’ve told you how many times the 700 has a mind of its own, and you can’t trust them safeties.

The way Opie tells the story, if he hadn’t been joy ridin in Gomer’s wrecker that night you’d still be trying the crawl back to town. He says you guys were doin your best impersonation of a couple speed bumps right in the middle of the road and there was your Rambler with a bullet hole through the floor board, the bell housing all fucked up, and the torque converter shattered. He figures you must have tried to drive the woundedmobile cuzz that wood splain how the piece of flywheel got drove through the oil pan. So the 10 quarts of ATF and the gallon of 10-30 you spent good money on, are all over the road and oozing towards youz speed bumps. He says after he got your ride hangin off the hook, he pushed the abandoned pick-up onto the wet spot. Figures you owe him big time for savin all the calls and paperwork with the EPA, TSA, and game wardens. He also says that bald eagle, I mean turkey, you give him was real good fat fried.

Now I gut some serious issues with the rest of your story. You know I don’t do ‘fartin’ contests with this chemo crud runnin through me arteries. How am I supposed to know which bag is running things? The one that gives people the shits, or the one that dries a turd into something rougher than asphalt. The last time I thought I knew Surprise! I didn’t. Damn near ruined a perfectly good pair of waders too.

And the sawdust. Your memory is worse than that JP Dimon fella’s. That sawdust was from the mess you made (and never cleaned up) in me shop that time you thought you could build an oak gun cabinet outa yellow pine. I told you right there, mixin that pipe and corn squeezings wood get you in trouble.

What color was that pick-up in the sign anyway?

[westerebus]

7. See dis is how ya get yer self in trouble.

First off Glenda-Marie is Uncle Jasper's first born and as tradition would have it, my prom date that was arranged by Hawkeye's momma in the first place. Uncle Jasper bein my momma's youngest brother has the family resemblance to go by. Just cause she's still sweet on me and my affections ain't nun yur bee's wax anyway.
B-sides Hawkeye has the problems bein he only got one nut. And who was it that dared him to tie a fishin line to his man parts when ya'll caught that twenty pound cat fish? You thought I forgot, well I did till Opie reminded me. Speaking oh which there's a family resemblance the both oh ya'll share. I ain't gonna say a word about them ears. Not a blessed word. No sir!
As it was Hawkeye done shot my poor rambler. Ya knowd they don't make Ambassadors no more. Dam shame too. It was goin down hill about seventy when old Hawk was reachin over for another beer when HIS 700 done went off. Kapow! Next thing I knows I got no steering, no brakes, a whole lot a smoke and hell fire comin up the floor boards. I had no choice. I threw it into reverse and Kapow the dam thing just blowed up. Threwed me and old Hawkeye clear out the car. We was a smokin and on fire and my best go to church jeans was tore up somethin fierce. That was why we was all layed out in the road. Ya know I loves Opie like he was kin, but he ain't the sharpest tool in the shed. Just sayin..
Speakin a sheds, weren't it you that made the there custom pipe? Seems I recall more than one. Anyways, I was gonna clean up the shop but you keep it all locked up and all. That ain't neighborly. Not like you ain't borrowed half the tools in it, cept for that ruler you can't figure how to use. What the hell is an American doin with a mill-er-meter any way. Sumptin just wrong there, but bein you're crankey and all, I'll let it go. I won't mention them ears either. Not a word.
About them waders? Didn't you leave them behind in Cooter's shop when you gave that petty city lady a ride down county? You remember her, hell she was kinds sweet on ya. All nice and good smellin too. You know the one, she was wantin to buy up your hackels, them feathers you keep making them boys tie. Ain't she the one that does the social services for them poor fellers?
I'm a touch dry so recallin facts ain't no good right now. You'll keep up and I'll try an rec-olect where we parked that pick up. The Game warden is goin on his Vegas vacation next week, so if ya ain't too dam cranky, let's go shoot sumptin'. You can drive.

[Po_d Mainiac]

8. I get in trouble?

Hawk-Eye may have some unoccupied REO between his ears but he was clever enough to know you wasted them three years in second grade. He knew full well when he dropped that lit M-80 in the PBR can and told you to count ta ten that you’d haveta hold the can between your legs to free up enough fingers to count past five. I still think he shoulda telled you to count ta eleven.

Still can’t believe that safety pin you used to keep your fly closed, wizzing through the air and impaling your momma’s tit started that whole body piercing rage. Shame about all that patent money getting pothecated, rehypothecated and vaporizing. Talk about bad luck. Bad enough the MBS’s them two fellahs that work for the JP Dimon sold her, when they were heading down to Montgomery, were worth less than recycled toilet paper (Even though the Moody’s said were better than silver) But then those synthetic Greek bond thingies the Goldman was selling, went sour. Did she ever get any of the gold back that the Jersey Governor was supposed to keep safed?

Too bad about the Rambler. That Romney guy sure knew how to build a car. What a Sandusky his kid turned out to be though. To think if Mrs. Romney had just swallowed? I’m thinking we need to give that poor set of wheels a proper adios. I’m also thinking a couple garbage bags inflated with acetylene on her front seat and a tracer from my aught-six. I’ll even donate that dog carrier I built. We’ll mount it on the Rambler’s roof. Better yet, you can get in the box and have a real ‘box seat’ for the Ambassador’s funeral.

Now, no more talk about me ears. Cuzz if there is, I’m gonna dig out the old Beta box and let the boys upta the Lodge see what you did on holiday, when you visited that sheep farm. Bet you didn’t know Hawk-Eye knew how to make copies. Also bet you didn’t know your Uncle Jasper was just pretending to be asleep.

BTW, the shed wasn’t locked. The north corner settled some when the frost went out and now the door sticks. That’s why I got the bumper jack from the old Fairlane upside the sill. Anyway, all the people that leant me them tools been dead years now. I finger they just fergut to name me in their wills, since they ain’t come back to get them.

And here’s another BTW. Did you know that if you don’t like the Millie-Meter side of the ruler, you could just flip it over and find feet? Just like Millie the Meter Maid that works under Andy.

And now the last BTW. If you hadn’t been all liquored up, you just might have noticed that was my wife. And yes, she’s pretty and smells nice. And yup she’s sweet on me. She’s my wife!

BTW, I ain’t cranky. And I think we covered the shootin/killin part with the send-off for your car.

[westerebus]

9. Trouble? Par- dohna- a mawt!

That's the phonician spellin of 'scuse me. Trouble woulda been your middle name, but it done got changed to gawd damit when youse was two. Mr tells everybody every thing fur no good reason.

Sides who dun ya think owed them sheeps? Uncle Jasper that's who. And you got no more room to talk then old Hawkeye does neither. Cousin Freddy the hog humper tolds me all about you and Hawk and why there's a missin fence post big enough to get a "miss princess piggy's" head stuck inta, iffin ya knows what I'm sayin. So just who was it that bought all the lipstick at the 5 and dime? Twern't Hawk now was it?

And get yer facts squared, it was four years in second grade. Iffin I had that chrome plated safety pin to keep my fly closed I could passed in two. Every body funnin me cause I had to rope up them jeans under my armpits and all. Shamefull how I was treated. Can't blame a boy's not bein able to count iffin his older brother's hand me downs weren't sixteen sizes too big. Hell the only thing larged than his big butt was Grama Ethel's boobies. Nature done taked a wrong turn on that boy. Just sayin..

If it weren't fur that on the explodin beer can, Momma woulda never made it inta the Inquirer. She was world famous, well her boob was anyway. Course that green can oh paint that fell on her helped some. Still don't know what them aliens was all about?

I knowed you had that jealous streak from the first time you saw my Ambassador. Got that with the money Momma gifted me from them Golden preachers. They still ain't got no proper meetin house. Poor fellers. Doin god's work and all.

Well the gold's all gone. Lost it when the boat sank off the port of Elizabeth. Tragic misunderstanding was what they said. They bein revenuer's never seen such a sad sad story. Momma don't seen too upset. Go figure?

So yo'll think we might just return the rambler from whence it came. Old Frank Perdue says parts is parts. If it good enough for a chicken man well it's dun good enough by me. Might want to do that there pick up as the FEMA is interested in how that self contained weather station got from Belize to uppin these parts. Sonny Jim, Misses Penny-Dollar's boy was in the Navy and said you could fly under the radar usin it for a mill-er-meter jammer. You knowd about that? I could ask Andy? If it was all hushed up like the time your misses found them pantyhose in, oh never mind. So them very-cost veins any better? Speakin oh which, I sawed a few oh the fellers mannin up to the hose-airy counter. Must be some kinda eppi-dem-ick gonin round.

Well if ya ain't cranky must be cause yer misses dun learned ya some kinda way. Now if she could just pare back dem ears a might... Not a word. Not a word that can't just do some good... just sayin.. hobbits..elves..

[Po_d Mainiac]

10. I have enough trouble with engrish

I told you I ain’t cranky, but that’s subject to change.

While Hawk was playin Mait-r-de with the sows, that friggin boar was trying to make piglets by partnerin with me. And I really wasn’t in the mood. That hole in the fence kept that son bitches teeth away from my ass long enough to rope his nuts and let the PTO on Freddie’s Massy do the heavy lifting. And yes, I bought all the panty hose Woolworth’s had. I was wearing them too. I was CMA just incase that friggin boar tried to take another poke at me. Those things sure are hard to put on. Worked up a nasty sweat and had to rehydrate from a bunch of long-necks. Then I found out panty hose don't make an allowance for a hose and don’t come from the factory with a fly. And then.. nevermind. My boys sure were glad to get some fresh air once the EMT’s got me cut out though.

Don’t you dare tell your Momma where those big round earrings came from. I told her they come straight from the biggest oysters in the world, and I ain’t gonna rewrite history. Why’d she have to wear them things and brag em up when the lady from the Inkquirer took her picture. Geez!

Now If I wuzz you, I’d be thinking about burning off one of them claymores, you got down in the bunker, and taking out the substation. I warned you about the ears. You might get lucky and the Lodge will plow into the porn I got diving in the SEC’s dumpster, and you can knock out the power before they catch your big screen debut. 500 ewes to choose from, and you picked the ugliest one of the lot.

If you had any functioning nervons left you’d memeber we used that lipstick to paint the target on the side of the barn, so Hawk-Eye could sight-in the future Ambassador slayer. Maybe the next time we do a bennyfit supper we should get that lad a new pair of glasses, instead of using the money to keep the still going for the next bennyfit supper. Them coke bottle bottoms bein all scratched up might be the reason he wasted a whole box of ammo, never hit the barn, and now the silo drips good grain we ain’t been tellin the ADM suits about.

Self contained weather station? Belize? Closest thing I’ve seen to that was a thermometer advertising some hardware store in Honduras and a pinwheel taped together. There are lots of Chinese there now, I’m bettin it was a drone they reprogrammed that was on it’s way to Iran for another photo op.

And no, I don’t know how the palm leaves got jammed into the horizontal stabilizer. I've never tried to duck under no raysdar.

[westerebus]

11. Course ya got trouble with the enghish, like that's a suprise. Well duh.

Most people speak american. Cause they live in america. Bein you're part canadian and got lost in woods when yur was two and sold back to yur folks by them eskimoes, ain't no wonder bout it. I got the news paper clippin of that joyous event. Not when ya got sold back, when ya went to go help tinker bell fight the aggittatur. That's how ya got the name gawd dammit. All the kin was a yellin gawd dammit come home, hell that was when Hawk fell down that there well and Bubba lassoed him up. Them was some good times right there!
What is it with yo'll and them hogs anyhoo? Specilly old slick willy. That ther hog holds a grudge like no body's bussiness. Hatein' on you the most fur sure. He got cause tho. Them bottle rockets lit off his ass big time. But that weren't half as bad as the flaming arrows from yur baby sister's girl scout little camper bow set. Ol' slick willy ain't forgot bout that neither. No sir. He done took a chunck outta old Hawk that time he wasn't a mindin' that hog. Hawk said it was a dog. Vet said it was willy. Momma said get the boy some spectacals. I member him a fussin bout how's puttin his testicles in glass weren't gonna make that there hog any less mean. Bubba had to lasso him up real good to take him for his spectacal fittin.
Now, I knowed all bout them extree special earrings. Momma likes 'um right much. Iffin it's makin Momma happy that's all that counts. Nuff said.
I was fixin to light up a claymore come the next secert initiation up the lodge. Nurse big butt Betty Swells' boys are a joinin. You knowd her to. You was all hot and bothered on her as I members it. Said you never seed nicer ham hocks. Didn't she ride the rescue squad that set yur boys free. I'm a thinkin I go ask Andy. Bout that claymore and such. Might be needed two. And fer the love o gawd do not let Hawk near the bunker, lessin you be wantin to raise his nine kids, cause me, myself assorted lodge members will be a speakin albanian with your cousins iffn ya know what I mean... just sayin
You have yet to thank me fur not mentioning them ears. So yur welcome. Not a word. No sir. They won't hear it from me. Causin we all knows when ya hit that ther palm tree ya just stuck out that left flapper to get 'er home, ain't that right Dumbo?

[Po_d Mainiac]

12. OK mister smart guy

Tell that to the Webster dude. I’ve seed that book a lot cuzz it’s always right there in the window beside the beer store, and there is no “american” on the cover.

Hell yes, I remember your Momma's adopted friend bein there. Good thing the EMT’s had the pumper called in, cuzz it took half their tank to get her cooled down and all the Hot Shot Smoke Jumpers to restrain her. She was bound and determined to do a TSA when she seed me all stripped down and once my boyz were up for a jog, I colored me gone.

BTW, now I remember. That palm tree was on the top (Romney dog style) of a Biscayne station wagon that was passing a topless lady truck driver runnin a refer out on the innerstate. At least I though it was a lady truck driver from 800ft. But it really was a truck. There are two blind spots on a hi-wing. Straight up an straight down. You can get around the look down dilemma by jammin a piece of stove wood between the fuselage (that’s Canuk speak for body) and the door so you can hang down a have a proper look see. Problem with that, is you’re likely to have baggies go airborne and end up all over the inside of your windscreen and have to IFR someplace and clean up the mess. Anyway I had the door closed. Never saw it coming. Did get close enough to the side of the truck cab to see the error in me thinking though.

Anyway since I was all trimmed up for low and slow, I just tickled the rudder a bit gave the ball a bit more space from the wall and set all three sneakers down right onta the top of that refer truck. That was when I noticed the driver in the wagon being a real female and real pretty. It was pretty hot (the temperature) but she was in some stage of non-dressed to keep cool. So the truck driver was kinda ripped that I spoiled his entertainment, but by the time he’d jaked his brakes and dug a couple tire tools outa his kit box, I had the brush cleared outa the tail and was stuffing a couple handfuls of Mexico’s finest buds into a rolled up newspaper. The half roll of duct tape gave it a nice finished look. I gotta tell ya there was enough Mary-Jane in that sleeve to keep the whole Lodge and a few possums giggling for a month. Now the former lady trucker was no where as mean and when he got the rig upta 80 I just popped the bird off. Hmm? So the refer driver also had a big refer in the cab hauling a refer box.. Gotta get someone to check my whorerscope. Must be some subprime meaning retrograding someplace? What I really miss is that zippo I had to toss in so my good looks woodn’t suffer more damage.

I got that lighter free when I paid the Playboy subscription so Hawk-Eye woodn’t feel so bad about being lopsided. BTW, that weren’t a 20-pound catfish. It started out as 3-pound salmon. And I gotta tell ya Hawk was having a real good time with the thing tuggin and jumping and shaking its head and he was playin it real good. He wood be whole today if he’d just hauled the thing to the boat after the 5th jump. But no, he had to try for six. Well that fish was getting tired and just before it broke the surface a bald eagle swooped down and got it with both sets of talons. I think that’s why Ben Franklin is Hawk-Eyes’ favorite dead president, cuzz he wanted the turkey to be the Notational Symbol. Anyway, when the slack come outa the line Hawk-Eye done this Olympic perfect half back-flip double pirouette (that’s Canuk speak for scream and spin at the same time) and even with the mandatory tenth off for fuckin up the landing I gave him a 10. Anyway that’s when his store bought custom ground spectacles got busted. By this time the Eagle is ripping into the fresh salmon up a tree and never even noticed Hawks man purse had popped like a fat toad under the Ambassador. Well, I seen Hawk-Eye’s castanet rolling around in the bilge water, but I had ZIRP inclination to do anything but bail it over the side with the piss can. But that boy had seen some show where they’d put some Hobbit (or Bob It) back together and wanted the thing back real bad. I pointed it out to him, but he couldn’t see shit. As luck wood have it there was a empty bottle of 151 ontop of all the BPR cans up in the bow, so I had a clue there might be a Coke bottle or three up there too. There was. There was also enough duct tape left to stop most of the bleedin and rig him up a passable pair of specks. At least good enough so he could pick himself up from the boat bottom. But it just wasn’t the lads’ day. We ran outa gas and it being real hot and muggy by the time we palm rowed to shore (remind to make a couple paddles before we go back onto the Lake) and guts to the hospital his thing smelled worse that the bait pail. Your nurse cousin (the one that works with Betsy Don’t Swells) flushed it down the toilet and wanted to know what happened for her report to the AMA. At the time, the 20-pound catfish seemed like a better tell.

BTW I weren’t lost. I ran away. And gawdammit is a lot better than me first name. Not the one on my picture license, but the one I answered to.

[westerebus]

13. Pestilence O' Egypt?

That there's a mighty fine name. Grammy Ethel dun named ya right far as anyboy knows who knows ya. There ain't but so's many names in the good book and her momma was the namer and her momma before that, all that linin' out just leaves so much Po.
You oughta be grateful they weren't a readin out the Sears catalog like they did back in day. How ya think ol' Hawk got his given name? Wrapped to tight. May be ya could trade him even up?
They done named sister Ruth And after a candy bar! Then they found the good book, so they gived her the middle name Swallows in the fields. Now wonder she changed her name to Betty Jean.
I'll get back ta ya straight away so we can get yer story unbent as your a touch cranky... just sayin..ear flap's on a cessna..

[westerebus]

14. Are ya lost?

Are ya done run away like the last twenty nine times yo'll got lost? Gettin' hard to tell these days. Like when we went lookin fur yur areoplane and you'd painted it all white in the middle a winter and couldn't find it till spring. Sorta like that? Or more like the time when you got run thru the hay bailer cause you was tryin ta fix it on the fly tween the trasher and bale tier? Only thing stickin out was them ol boots and yer left arm a wavin for all it was worth. Dam good thing Praise Jesus was ridin the scoop truck and sawed ya. PJ always did have all the good sightin that Hawk got shorted.
Member when you had to get Ol'Hawk to fly yer plane so ya could moon that airforce tower that was always sendin up them interceptors after ya? That was some such flyin right there! You was all neekid cepted for them boots, hangin on that wing. That send them two pio-luts to laughin so hard they peed their selves into a fit. Nobody knows how Ol' Hawk landed yer plane and all till this day. He ain't tellin cause iffin ya ask him he goes all pale like a ghost and starts burrbulin and gets all jerky like the spirits dun taked possession oh the poor boy. Ya know Po somethings just ain't right.
Momma says I need to be neicer ta ya. She said not to mention them thar ears as you bein sensitive an all. So I said I won't say a word unless there was an emergency. She said what kinda emergency? I said it ain't like he got all the sense he was borned with, he used up most a that a helpin Red at the lodge. Iffin it weren't for Hawkeye keepin an eye on him no tellin what he'd a got in-ta. Every time he got to flyin the east coast of American went on alert... just sayin
Momma said that's all true. That bein' the case, I'm not sayin a word. Not a word about Santa's little helper. No, sir. Not a word.

[Po_d Mainiac]

15. I never been lost in me life...mostly.

Last edited Fri Jul 20, 2012, 09:27 AM - Edit history (1)

I wooda gut back to ya sooner but I had to get another toxic drip. I made a big mistake. They said me hair wood fall out, and it did. So when I show up at the oncology window all hairless I tell them to “rack’em up, the cue ball has arrived.” That was the mistake.

Turns out the hospital maintenance crew had a nice slate table hidden in the cellar udder the boiler room, but the CEO had found it and took the cue ball. One of the oncology nurses’ had been forced to make a decision a few years back. Either do the nine-ball circuit, or the Clara Barton thing.

Now she’s thinking she could do both. But they got this policy about patients getting loaded up with Agent Orange, WD-40, Round-up and whatever else the crap they got in them bags iz having to stay in the “Unit” when they’re getting juiced.

So we had to move the "unit" to the cellar under the boiler. Now that girl had a smooth way with the stick, and even though it had a 3in curl from the 87’ flood, and lacked a tip, she was good. My cue was true, but I had to drag the plumbing, IV tree, and a computerized Blood Pressure thingy that crushed my arm every 20 minutes so they could tell if the rigor mortis (Canuk Latin for not so good) was stayin away. It wasn’t pretty.

After the third bag I’m startin ta see 27 balls, and she’s pocketing them as fast as me, and…well I just fergot to even look at the puter.

[westerebus]

17. According to who?

Just lookin out the window an seenin a wing tip don't mean you ain't lost. Lost is when you're too busy doin stuff, that it gets to be a habit doin stuff, when the stuff yer doin keeps ya busy from gettin stuff done. Ya ain't never sat still for three minutes from the second your feet touched the floor as far as anybody recalls.
Taint yer fault. Runs in the family. Them that does, never stops a doin. Them that don't, fish. Which according to the good book is what happens iffin you don't spend your days a frettin bout what the hell yer neighbor's pasture is a growin.
True enough when ya sees all them amber waves o'grain so ya knows ther's a shine a stillin some where. Or rows of chrismas trees for the down south folks betweens which the bud is a bloomin for them sacred sweat lodge members.
Only you would plant a field o'taters right up ta J D's road. The road named after the best friend of folks who got's to go and can't, Ol' Job's Delimma Fast Acting Tonic. One swig and iffin you weren't a squatin' in the out house at the time that was just too dam bad.
Them was fingerling potatoes ya planted, all so ya could market them as Poor John's Ding-a-ling Finger-lings. Momma don near had a stroke over that one. That just weren't right.
All them youngin's singin' Po's ding-a-ling, it's a fat ol' fingerling, thick as a stick, bigger'n a brick, that there ding-d-ling. Now who in their right mind dun taught them that to be a singing on the way to sunday school? I know you was "lost" at the time.
Well get yer rest. Red's Misses wants 'em to go on a second honeymoon. I'm a plannin on duck tapin my hind parts together so's I don't laught my ass off watchin' this train wreck. Speakin o' trains, how'd ya knowd when a train was a commin'? Ya put a ear to the ground. Not necessay in some folk's case... just a sayin

[eridani]

2. Welcome to the "new normal"

Hoping Dems may be able to do something constructive if we win it all, but there are so many forces arrayed against this.

[Peter1x9]

6. The economy won't pick up here until

it's no longer cheaper to manufacture or program stuff somewhere else.

[sendero]

16. How many times have we heard this..

... in the last 4 years?

Bullshit.