What do you folks think about the name change question?

[Warren DeMontague]

On the topic of marriage, etc. Particularly as it applies to hetero marriage, although the question could come up in LGBT marriage as well.

My wife did not take my last name. (horrors!) She had a pretty established career before we married, and I was always like "meh. your call".

The kids took my last name. She suggested it.

I kept my name. Occasionally she will say "hey what if I changed my name to yours" and I'm always like "meh. your call".

Every once in a while I'll be, like, "I could take your name, and be Mr. ************" and she goes "meh. I don't like it that much"

And since we are both, fundamentally, creatures of inertia, the situation stays the same, and no one really seems to care.

The idea of combining the names is even worse.

Look, "DeMontague" doesn't exactly roll off the tongue, and neither does "Lollobrigida". Just try putting them together.

[Warren Stupidity]

1. Needless to say, my SO did not take my last name.

The kids are all hyphens, as in Ultimate-Stupidity.

[Warren DeMontague]

2. Just to think, if I had married Elizabeth Warren, I could be Warren Warren.

If my youthful fondness for illicit substances had progressed into love and then marriage, I could be Warren Drugs.

[lumberjack_jeff]

6. My wife took my first name.

Always bucking tradition.

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[mokawanis]

3. I didn't really have an opinion

but my wife did. She didn't like her last name, thought mine was cool, so she made the change when we got married.

[ProudToBeBlueInRhody]

4. My feeling is if the woman has a professional career....

....and is known by name, a change is cumbersome. I'd encourage her not to change it.

But, I don't even believe in marriage, and this crap is just one of the many reasons why. So meh.

[Inkfreak]

5. I really did not mind if my wife kept hers

But she had no issues with changing it. I kinda wanted to change mine to my moms maiden name. My pops was a deadbeat and never raised me. So at first I was thinking no way do I want his name. But I'm my own man I suppose. Maybe I can bring a new perspective to my last name with my kid. My wife says she likes my last name and said no to me changing it anyways. She'd find my new last name odd lol.

[opiate69]

7. My wife didn`t "take" my name. At least not "officially".

Although, the reasons for that are more along the lines of procrastination, forgetfullness, lack of transportation, etc, than any philosophical or ideological reason. She does sometimes use my last name for mundane stuff like email accounts or log-in names.

[kwassa]

8. My last name is incredibly common and dull, and hers quite a bit more unique.

And she was well-known professionally.

So, no name change.

[MrSlayer]

9. There was never a question that my wife was taking my name.

It never came up at all. It would seem strange if it did. It's just the way it is.

[Bonobo]

10. My wife didn't take my name. Never asked or wanted her to. nt

[Dash87]

11. Should be up to the individual, imo.

There should not be pressure to go either way.

[Warren DeMontague]

12. I would agree with that, to the point that it seems so obvious I didn't expressly say it

the only vague pressure I might imagine would be the pressure not to hyphenate together two very long names, which begs the question as to what could happen when two people with long hyphenated names marry each other...

[Dash87]

13. Hello Mr. Johnson-White-Smith-Green-Corneliius-Allen The Third

*head explode*

[Sen. Walter Sobchak]

14. Hell, I changed my name to my mothers family name

Mostly because my cousin of the same name who until going for the neck tattoo was nearly indistinguishable from me is a character of wide ill-repute.

I look at it from a pretty plain perspective. I am sterile and will never have children. So any marriage will only be a union of two adults and in that context I would find a woman taking my name just strange and subservient. Although a woman I went to university with kept her maiden name at first, but when she was pregnant changed it because she thought it might avoid some awkwardness where her kids were concerned. She didn't want to do anything that would project ambiguity about the family.

[Major Nikon]

15. I'm against marriage in general

Or at least the government sponsorship of marriage, which is pretty ironic since I've been married for over 25 years now.

The whole idea of marriage revolves around ownership going both directions. The tradition of name changing is simply a product of that idea. I just see the name changing issue as simply part of a broader idea that doesn't seem to be working very well.