Single Men Hear Their Biological Clocks Ticking (Too)

[Bonobo]

http://abcnews.go.com/WNT/video/single-men-hear-biological-clocks-ticking-16816570

Studies now show more and more single men are choosing to become single dads.

I think this is a subject worthy of some attention.

[loli phabay]

1. interesting topic. though i would hate to be a single dad myself.

More power to those that manage it.

[4th law of robotics]

2. I couldn't imagine wanting to raise a kid by myself

being forced in to it by death or divorce is one thing.

But making the conscious decision to be a single parent. . . not something that appeals to me.

[Bonobo]

3. I can imagine it.

Life to me anyway would feel very sad without children.
And if, for one reason or another, I could not find a proper partner, I can imagine myself wanting to have a child.
Humans are humans and I don't think wanting children is a desire that exists only in women.

[davsand]

4. I think that the choice to parent isn't tied to gender.

Apologies up front if I'm posting someplace inappropriate. I do realize this is the Men's Group...



I think that the desire to parent is not tied to gender at all. I know several men and women who have an appreciation for kids, and actually enjoy time spent with them. Those same people are usually the ones who want to be (or are) involved and loving parents. I think there was a time when mens' role in children's' lives was customarily more distant than it it now, but I seriously doubt that was based in anything other than a societal expectation rather than any real difference in the genders and how they relate to children.

I'm not sure I would ever have chosen being the sole caregiver for a child, but I have no doubt that I'd have made it work if it was necessary. I'm equally certain my husband would have managed had he faced it. Gender isn't a factor so much as the desire and willingness to do it. IMO, being a parent is a choice you make for yourself and a promise made to the child. Single parents are just people who are doing the work of two.



Laura


BTW, if it is not ok with you all that I'm in here just tell me and I'll respect that. I just thought the topic looked interesting.

[Bonobo]

5. I totally agree.

Thanks for chiming in. I am sure your opinions are always going to be welcome here no matter what you have to say.

"being a parent is a choice you make for yourself and a promise made to the child."

I love the way you said that!

[lumberjack_jeff]

6. In retrospect, I can't imagine life without kids.

But when I was single, I couldn't have imagined raising kids independently.

I might have thought it would be fun, but not practical.

[davsand]

7. In truth, until I hit my mid 30's I never really thought I wanted to be a parent

I liked kids well enough, but when I was younger I just didn't think I wanted to be the 24/7 caretaker that parenting can require. Plus, if I'm being brutally honest, babies scared the hell outta me. Maybe it took growing up, maybe it took meeting a person that I trusted to help me raise a child, maybe it was some combination of both--either way--once I found somebody that I was comfortable with calling a life partner I started to see parenthood as something I wanted to commit to.

Like you, Jeff, today I simply cannot imagine life without my child. I sound all geeky when I talk about her, but I view her as an amazing gift. Not a day goes by that she fails to make me laugh or make me proud. Yeah, she's 15, and we do have our days where we both are fairly hormonal with each other, but she's a long way from being the rotten kid I probably deserved to get.



When I first saw this discussion I immediately thought about my husband and his relationship to our daughter. I am positive that Kev would have ultimately faced the decision of having a child alone or not having one at all, and it is completely possible that he'd have chosen to go it alone. He wanted children, made no bones about it, and once we realized our relationship was serious, everything we did was pretty much with that plan in mind. I've never regretted it, and I think that (most days, anyway...) he's solid with that decision as well.

In the context of gender and the decision to parent, I have never seen any real difference between men and women. I think something happens to us all at some point in our adulthood and we start to look at and explore our abilities and interests in raising a child. They used to joke about the biological clock starting to tick, but in reality I think it is just a factor of age and self realization.


Laura

[Warren DeMontague]

8. It's really not that odd, when you think about it.

I mean, each and everyone one of us is the product of a line of 4 Billion years of living things that ALL reproduced.

There's gotta be a powerful incentive to do so.