Man Jailed For Having The Worst Bowel Movement Ever

[Initech]

While on the subject of toilets...

People with loose bowels, beware. Anyone who doesn’t fully trust the integrity of their gastrointestinal system would be well-advised to stay far away from federal buildings. (Also, anyone squeamish about fecal matters — or eating lunch — may want to proceed with caution as they read this.)

The 1st U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals last week upheld a conviction against a Maine man who served a seven-day jail sentence for willfully damaging and creating a hazard and nuisance in the federal courthouse in Portland. Specifically, he pooped his pants and then left a mess in the bathroom after attempting to clean himself up.

And what a mess. The poor maintenance worker who had to deal with it said that “seventy-five percent of the floor was covered in feces” while more was “smeared more than two feet up on the walls” and “on the paper towel and toilet paper dispensers, on the toilet paper itself, and on part of the toilet seat and the left side of the toilet bowl,” according to the opinion.

http://www.salon.com/2013/07/26/found_guilty_of_the_worst_bowel_movement_ever/

[Warren DeMontague]

1. Shit!

[Initech]

4. ...

[krispos42]

2. I think at that point, I'd get a fire hose.

And a 5-gallon can of Lysol.

Ewwww....

[Mopar151]

3. buy a cheap used wet-vac

A mop, the lysol, rubber gloves. Bin them all, in a 10 mil demo bag, after all visible traces removed. if you need a pressure washer, rent it. Then scrub it all out - even the ceiling if you can - like a frat house toilet on the morning of Parent's Day!