Update on my move to assisted living.
Today I toured an Independent Living Community to ask questions and got to talk to residents in that form of communities that may be helpful to my husband and myself.
I have memory loss now and need help even in having the facility pick me and drop me off. I cannot remember how to get to practically every place I used to go. I can manage the trip to the supermarket but nothing else. This frightens me. I feel like I am slowly coming apart.
I am so grateful for those in the DU community who offered me tips on how to deal with this process. I will keep you up to date on that progress. Perhaps you will find this helpful to you in the future.
My daughter is designing the book I am self publishing based on the art essays I did here at DU from 2014-2016. I kinda had to organize it by the century of the artists which was a bit of a challenge but I got it done. I am investigating how much copies will cost and if feasible I will offer a limited the number of books I can distribute to DU members, my dear online family.
You are all wonderful and I love you.
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I look forward to your essays and send out a world of positive vibes. 
Will keep following your updates. 
Yup, I'm following you and learning how it is done. Wasn't able to respond to your earlier post about the decision and the visits but sure have been thinking about you and the whole process. Your candor is much appreciated, just like your posts in my 10 or so years with DU. You have the very best wishes -- and thanks--from here.
I can only imagine the stress you and your husband are going through. It sounds as if your 3 children are there to help you along the way. I hope that brings you some level of comfort.
Can't wait for your book! You will be in our thoughts as you make this difficult transition! 
with you i can't wait for your book to be published 
.
Welcome
who can envision running out of funds some day - and perhaps needing to be in a nursing home on Medicaid -- should be aware of a few things.
There are people who are on the borderline of needing high levels of assisted care and qualifying for nursing home care. My mother was in this situation. We could have had her go to an assisted living place at the highest level of care and she had enough funds to last for maybe a year there. But if she had waited till all her funds had run out before she looked for a Medicaid spot in a nursing home, she would have had much more limited choices. Most nursing homes have a large majority of people on Medicaid, but they give admissions priority to private pay people (who are important to keeping the facility afloat financially).
Since Mom had enough money to apply to a nursing home as a private pay patient, she had a choice of excellent nursing homes, that all accept Medicaid once the private pay person runs out of funds. But they like to see at least 6 months worth of assets in order to accept a person as a private pay.
So my mother, by choosing a nursing home over the highest level assisted living, still had enough funds to apply for a private pay slot in an excellent, personalized nursing home with all private rooms. And when she eventually was switched to Medicaid, nothing changed. She stayed in the same room, with the same people caring for her.
Based on your postings, I realize you're not in need of the highest level assisted living care or nursing home care at this point in your life. But if you don't have unlimited resources, you and your daughter should pay attention to your finances so you don't inadvertently spend all your money in assisted living, with not enough left over to apply eventually to a nursing home as a private pay person. If you ever get to the point where you're at the highest level of assisted living care, it's better to switch to a good nursing home while you can still afford to enter it without Medicaid.
Good luck with your move!
I had trouble finding my car in the grocery store parking lot.
SO-- I bought a red car?
Think about it..
Love you and all you taught me. My contribution to you was minescule by comparison,. :>
))
The FIRST post i remember of your's , or almost the first, I remember was a painting of Cy Twombley. I thought, My, what a weird name. 
Although you never mentioned it, you also got me interested in a facebook page-- "I REQUIRE ART" -Not much discussion, BUT, OH the paintings I never knew.
Wishing all the best for you CT.. hope you will keep in touch here. and I definitely WILL BUY a book.. somehow....
Just let me know. I don't know how many of the books I can afford but it will be a first thing first come thing. If I have enough you will get one.
I have no memory of the Facebook page...
You didn't tell me about the Facebook page, I found it because of your posts about art. You kindled my interest...
THAT was the art class' that got me hooked on your discussions !!
AND it was the post that later led to my love Raoul Dufy and Emile Nolde!! I had never heard of them.
I actually did buy a very high quality litho (1960s) of one of Dufy's 'regatta" paintings. all that BLUE..
Did my research and my art educated sister helped....It's the real deal...
I have been looking everywhere for a high quality lithograph of THIS .. without luck. There are many similar, but I want THIS one. :>
))
https://www.facebook.com/permalink.php?story_fbid=477489832447074&id=158652700997457
I did by a cheap one on Ebay for $13. just to have it. If you have any idea where I could find a really good litho...... :>
)
Thank you so much for all you gave to all of us.....
I loved your art essays and found them very educational.
I hope you find a place that is perfect for you and your husband. Take care!
I want to get in line for one of your books -- and would so gladly pay for the privilege.
Let me see how much each copy costs first. That will happen mid
September.
I appreciate your kind words, Hekate...
I've always been the math/science/tech geek. Although I have long been deeply into music, opera, etc. the visual arts weren't in my bag. Then I read your essays. Whoa! There's some real passion going on there. It's like listening to (or watching) Puccini's Tosca the first time.
I'll never be to your level on visual arts my good friend, but your passion certainly lit a spark in mine. That is something I will take to my grave.
Thank you. What you've done here is pretty damned wonderful.
and your husband. We will be here for you.
You English is perfect and I just bet your memory is better than you think... Just keep using it. :> ))
Would love to see you publish a book and hey,,if folks here would like one, which I am sure they/we/I do, can we pay for them somehow?
Since I saw one of your posts regarding downsizing, I refocused on how fast time evaporates. I have since been doubling down on my own progress, and you were the inspiration for that. Sending you my best,
and will always value everything you taught us thru all of those beautiful threads...I personally discovered so much about Art, the artists, each period and movement, from you, CTyankee.
Every search you so painstakingly prepared for us each week, all of the amazing trips you shared with everyone here, each pilgrimage you'd made to stand in awe before some painting unreachable to me was a delight. You've been a long-time inspiration to seek and study and learn and I am forever grateful for that education!
I hope that you'll never forget that you're a DU treasure.
Wishing you all the best in this next journey.
She had memory loss due to blockage in her carotid arteries, and couldn't have surgery because she had septic arthritis.
I got gift bags at the dollar store, one for each month, something that made that month stand out- like Christmas for Dec. Valentines for Feb. matching the month to an event as well as I could. Then I put things like paid bills and birthdays related to that month in the bag and put them in her closet. She was a clutter bug and liked to rummage in her stuff. I don't know if I helped her, but it helped keep some of her things straight and tidy.
I wish you the best of luck. There is a lot of kindness in people and you will have help exactly when you need it
I can't imagine just how hard it is. But you are being both brave and pro-active in figuring out where you need to be as you go through this life. So many people simply ignore this, and wind up in a huge crisis because they refused to consider the possibility that they might not be able to live on their own forever.
I'm now 69 years old, currently in excellent health and (so far as I can tell) still quite with it mentally. I'm also divorced and live alone. I have one living adult son. I also have decent financial resources, and I know I'm very lucky that way. I constantly think about what I'll do in the future, if I'll be in independent or assisted living. I honestly hope that I can find my way to a good independent living place that also has assisted living, nursing home, and memory care units, in case my health deteriorates significantly or I get dementia.
I've been told by various professionals that there's a window of opportunity for a person to move into assisted living, and if that window is missed it's almost impossible to get them to move. Or they don't live very long thereafter.
I've been reading your posts here for a very long time (I was here under a different name at one point) and I feel as if you're a friend of a sort. I do hope you continue to keep us posted on what you're doing. I know I appreciate learning about this process through you. And I hope you stay with DU absolutely as long as you can.
I admit, I missed this part of your postings here on DU.
CTyankee, You are among my favorite DU'rs and I wish you and your family the very best.
I would be honored to purchase your book.
and Love,
Raine
I hope that you find soon the ideal facility for you and your husband.
Once the book is ready, please let me know.
I'll buy a copy - but you have to sign it.
Prayers that you attain peace as you transition to a new life. 
Praying that the memory loss is temporary. Will definitely pick up one of your books.
...I don't have any tips... but thanks for leaving tips for others. The book sounds great!
...keep writing!
some of the absolute finest content ever produced by this community. Please do not underestimate how much joy and education you brought to us with your writings.
