Originally published in The New Yorker, February 26, 1990, P. 42, and it's an absolute hoot.
[Opening statement of an attorney for Wile E. Coyote, Plaintiff, -v.- Acme Company, Defendant.] Mr. Coyote states that on eighty-five occasions he has purchased of the Acme Company through that company's mail-order department, certain products which did cause him bodily injury due to defects in manufacture or improper cautionary labelling... Report of the Attending Physician of damage suffered by Mr. Coyote required a full bandage around the head (excluding the ears) a neck brace, and full or partial casts on all four legs... He has suffered mishaps with explosives: the Acme "Little Giant" firecrackers, the Acme Self-Guided Aerial Bomb, etc.... The Acme Spring-Powered Shoes...no explanation has been found for this product's sudden and extreme malfunction.... As the Court is no doubt aware, Defendant has a virtual monopoly of manufacture and sale of goods required by Mr. Coyote's work...a giant company is allowed to victimize the consumer in the most reckless and wrongful manner over and over again.... The Plaintiff seeks punitive damages of 38 million dollars, and to reaffirm the right of the individual predator to equal protection under the law.
http://www.newyorker.com/magazine/1990/02/26/coyote-v-acme
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