The Devil
A guy dies and finds himself in Hell.
As he wallows in despair, he has his first meeting with the Devil.
DEVIL
"Why so glum?"
GUY:
"What do you think?..I'm in Hell."
DEVIL
"Hell's not so bad
We actually have a lot of fun down here.
Are you a drinking man?"
GUY:
"Sure!..I love to drink."
DEVIL:
"Well, you're gonna' love Mondays, then.
On Mondays, that's all we do is drink..Whiskey, Tequila, Beer, Wine Coolers
We drink 'till we throw up, and then we drink some more!
And you don't have to worry about hangovers, because you're dead already."
GUY:
"Gee, that sounds great!"
DEVIL:
"Are you a smoker?"
GUY:
"You better believe it!"
DEVIL:
"All right!..You're gonna love Tuesdays.
We get the finest cigars from all over the world and smoke our lungs out
If you get Cancer, it's no big deal..You're already dead, remember?"
GUY:
"Wow! That's awesome!"
DEVIL:
"Do you like to gamble?"
GUY:
"Why yes, as a matter of fact I do."
DEVIL:
"On Wednesdays, you can gamble all you want.
Craps, Blackjack, Roulette, Poker, Slots, whatever.
If you go bankrupt, it doesn't matter, you're dead anyhow."
GUY:
"Cool!"
DEVIL:
"What about drugs?"
GUY:
"Are you kidding, I love drugs!"
DEVIL:
"Thursday is drug day
Help yourself to a great big bowl of crack, smack, uppers, downers, smoke a doobie the size of a submarine
You can do all the drugs you want, you're dead! Who cares?"
GUY:
"Wow!..I never knew Hell was such a cool place!"
DEVIL:
"Are you gay?"
GUY:
"No."
Devil:
"Ooooh, you're gonna hate Fridays!"
= new reply since forum marked as read
