The DU Lounge
Related: Culture Forums, Support ForumsI'm concerned I may have to get rid of my 9 month old cat named Oliver.
I have a baby due to be born July 26. Oliver is a little to friendly. He likes to lay on my chest, shoulder and up in my face. He is a very pretty cat. Long hair white and black loves to cuddle but I'm worried he could suffocate the little baby boy or choke him with his tongue as some people say. Don't know what to do I love that "Little Man" he's a good little fellow but can't take any chances on him killing the Baby.
CurtEastPoint
(18,656 posts)I understand that baby is #1. If this is going to bother you, please find another home for Oliver. Cats do not kill babies. Bad dogs, on the other hand, and humans, do.
angstlessk
(11,862 posts)Why spend even a moment worrying?
ArnoldLayne
(2,068 posts)sharp_stick
(14,400 posts)That's just another in a long line of old wives tales.
ArnoldLayne
(2,068 posts)Me on the couch
Avalux
(35,015 posts)Her cat, who WAS her baby for 6 years before her son arrived, was much the same as yours. I remember she was worried about how the cat would act and if she'd have to give him away.
I'm happy to say that everything has turned out beautifully. The cat ended up being very cautious and gentle around her son (who is now crawling and chasing the cat). Don't worry, I'm sure it will work out the same for you.
ArnoldLayne
(2,068 posts)He likes to put his ear up to my Girlfriends stomach and listen and feel the baby.
The Velveteen Ocelot
(115,818 posts)Your cat won't hurt the baby. My niece just had a baby and their cat is completely uninterested. Some cats might be curious, but if you don't want the cat in the crib with the baby, just keep the door closed when you aren't around.
justamama83
(87 posts)used to swear that my cats were going to "suck the breath" out of my baby. The one cat used to love to lay in the crib or cradle so I was a bit worried he'd smoosh the baby but one there was a live occupant he did not go in there - he'd wait until she was picked up then jump in the warm spot.
nolabear
(41,990 posts)My younger son grew up with Purrl, who was a year older than he was. No guarantees about yours but he loved that cat like Calvin loved Hobbes. He wore her like a hat from the time he could walk. We'd often have to sneak into his room at night and free her from his grip so she could go get some relief. She was HIS cat. She died at nineteen and he was devastated. He hasn't been without a cat since.
It's not that hard to keep track. If you haven't had babies you don't realize what a vigilant creature you become. I've honestly never heard of a cat really smothering a baby; it's an old tale, but I'd never say don't keep an eye on everyone.
Good luck, and congratulations! If you have more kids you'll eventually get to what I like to call the "Can-you-move-it-is-it-bleeding" stage. It's far easier and they manage to live anyway!
ArnoldLayne
(2,068 posts)I am very nervous now that it's getting closer to the due date.
nolabear
(41,990 posts)For peters sake don't be shy about getting support. I'm a therapist. I've studied and worked with parents and kids and people who were kids once for a lot of years. There's a guy whose work I love named DW Winnicott, who talked a lot about how babies develop. He coined the term "good enough mother." That's what you want to be. Not perfect, because no one with a perfect mother learns to deal with an imperfect world. Your reasonable failures are good. Another is the concentric circle idea of parenting newborns. Baby is the center, mother wraps around baby, father or other primary person wraps around mother, family and larger world around father, society around and supporting them, etc. It's never that ideal of course but my point is that support is a necessary and good-for-all thing. Asking for it is good!
Hope I'm not being too talky I adore new families.
ArnoldLayne
(2,068 posts)nolabear
(41,990 posts)All those "Oh my God I'll be too old to..." worries aside, older fathers have a lot going for them. I hope you'll keep us posted. And forgive me for mistaking you for the mommy.
Hassin Bin Sober
(26,335 posts)Re: can you move it. A friend of mine's sister has 5 kids and we still joke about how nonchalant she is.
The sister and kids were visiting our building. The kids were playing by the basement stairs where there was a 4 or 5 foot drop and not the best railings. I, not Being a parent, was freaking out and kept wanting to grab the kids. The mom was like, oh they'll shake it off if they fall - the trick is not making a big deal out of it.
Then my dog mounted the kid crawling around the kitchen. I was absolutely mortified. Everyone else was howling with laughter.
That was 10 plus years ago. The kids are still alive and have all their limbs in working order.
nolabear
(41,990 posts)In spite of the story I really was a diligent mom, probably more than they ever knew. That kid managed to fall off a chair (just sitting there) at three and break his arm and I thought I'd die. He also stuck a raisin up his nose and we just couldn't get it out, so ended up at the doctor's. The doc said "I have a special tool for this!" Then he unbent a paper clip, fished it up there and voila! Life with active little guys is a trip.
The Velveteen Ocelot
(115,818 posts)nolabear
(41,990 posts)She was a highway casualty, tossed out at eyes-not-open age and brought to me because I'd done wildlife rehab and knew all about bottle babies. On the way to the vet I was trying to think of a name when Janis came on the radio and it was all over. Purrl was one fine cat.
NV Whino
(20,886 posts)She spent more time at my place anyway. Once I started feeding her, she never went back. Ms Ana was the cat of cats, and lived to the ripe old age of 19. I'm sure my neighbor's enjoyed their baby sans cat.
mythology
(9,527 posts)That would eliminate the possibility of the cat sleeping on the baby's face. I have no idea what you mean by choke the baby with his tongue.
As somebody who not only grew up in a house with cats and dogs (my mom has never not owned a cat and has only not owned a dog for 7 days of her life), I suffered no ill effects from any cat or dog in my family.
The baby will be fine I'm sure, even if the cat gets a little less attention than he might like.
ArnoldLayne
(2,068 posts)for the night. Then let him up in the daytime when the baby is 7 or 8 months old.
Response to mythology (Reply #12)
ArnoldLayne This message was self-deleted by its author.
haele
(12,673 posts)I can't say anything about the stepdaughter's experience (before my time), but in the case of both grand-daughters, there have been multiple cats in the house when they were born. It seems that one of the cats would "adopt" the newborn, and always be around the baby like a mom-cat would be around her kittens. (whether the cat was male or female to begin with!)
The few times the cat snuggled with the baby was always when the room was cold; and even then, they would never press fully around the head or the chest. The mom-cat would ensure the other cats - or the dog - wouldn't come near unless the human mom or dad took over.
The other cats would just avoid the baby, especially once they started crawling. I still have two that get this wide-eyed "OMG" look on their faces when they see first the 4-year-old, and hide until they figure out she's not going to be chasing them or pulling tails.
With this last one, we had a six-month-old kitten (actually, we're not really sure the Goblin's a kitten; she tends to act like a demented puppy that practices parkour most of the time...) in the house; she sniffed the newborn - while being breastfed (the newborn, not the kitten) - and has since apparently decided to ignore the baby as just not being that interesting.
Everything should be fine.
Haele
ArnoldLayne
(2,068 posts)about it now.
catbyte
(34,425 posts)Last edited Fri May 27, 2016, 09:55 PM - Edit history (1)
I am 60 and have lived with cats all of my life. I've even hung out with them while I was in utero. One of my favorite pictures is of my mom, heavily pregnant with me, sitting with our tuxedo cat, Geraldine, draped across her stomach and all over me. Mom said that Geraldine would lay on her belly for hours, purring to me. There are pictures of Geraldine sitting next to the kitchen sink, supervising, while mom is giving me a bath. I've had a special bond with cats ever since.
Please don't give away your precious Oliver and deny your child the type of bond I had with Geraldine. Oliver WILL NOT KILL your child. That is an Old Wife's Tale, and a disgusting one at that. Congratulations!
ArnoldLayne
(2,068 posts)very lovable. He lays his head and purrs to her stomach too now I've noticed.
MH1
(17,600 posts)He is a purr machine and a snugglebug. Sounds like yours is the same.
Hopefully all the responses have convinced you to NOT get rid of your kitty.
catbyte
(34,425 posts)I think that once you introduce Oliver to the new addition, he will be fine. There are lots of articles on how to introduce your new baby to your cat. Don't re-home Oliver--I'm sure he will be just fine.
Here are a couple of YouTube videos that might ease your mind:
tandot
(6,671 posts)but my cat was never much into being held or sitting on me. That was seven years ago and he never even so much as scratched our son in all that time.
The one thing you'll have to be careful with is changing the kitty litter if your cat has any chance of getting outside or has access to raw meat or other cats' feces. You can get toxoplasmosis, which is transmitted through cat feces. It can result in birth defects if you are in the early stages of pregnancy. I had my husband change the kitty litter while I was pregnant.
Congratulations!
ArnoldLayne
(2,068 posts)I have heard it's dangerous for a pregnant woman to clean it. Oliver is strictly a house cat.
redwitch
(14,946 posts)Especially our oldest son. She simply adored him. When he cried as a newborn she would come flying in to our room talking non stop until I fed him or changed him. She would sit close by purring madly. As he grew up she was very protective of him. When he began to toddle I was watching him while sitting on our porch one day. The old lady down the street came by with her schnauzer and stopped at the foot of our driveway. My son went running toward them as fast as he could, while she stood there with that nasty dog who was growling and baring his teeth. I ran for him and heard a strange sound to my left as I ran. MooCat was running with me, heading straight for that dog, puffed up as big as she could get and hissing loudly. I was able to scoop up my wee guy and Moo peeled off and away under the car. I have no doubt she would have battled that dog to to the death protect our son.
You change the litter for wife while she is expecting and lock kitty out of baby's room while he is sleeping just in case and everything will be fine.
Rhiannon12866
(205,839 posts)Every cat has his/her own personality, curious, disinterested, etc., but I agree that it's an "old wives' tale" that a cat would do that to a baby. I believe my aunt fell for that mistaken legend back in the day, had a cat who was also her baby before my cousin was born and had a screen made that fit over the crib. My cousin is now grown up with kids of her own and she is one of the most devoted cat lovers/owners I know, has had several cats all of her life. And it's also true that children who grow up with pets do turn out to be healthier. Don't worry, just enjoy both of your babies...
Duppers
(28,125 posts)This is the 21st century and you shouldn't think that cats harm babies.
To calm your nerves use these precautions:
http://www.aspca.org/pet-care/cat-care/cats-and-babies
meow2u3
(24,768 posts)You'd be surprised how loyal a cat will be to a baby if you get him (Oliver) prepared. Oliver will end up loving baby once he or she is born.
cwydro
(51,308 posts)Your cat won't harm your baby.
Lydia Leftcoast
(48,217 posts)was jealous. He stopped happily greeting my parents when they walked into my grandparents' house and instead walked away, giving them a disgusted look over his shoulder when he saw the tiny human they had brought along.
However, he never even tried to harm me. My parents guessed that he recognized me as belonging to them and therefore not to be harmed. He didn't like me, but he showed his displeasure by ignoring me.
trueblue2007
(17,237 posts)DO SOME CHECKING. Do you know how to "Google" ?????????????????????????????????????