Aggressive turkeys attack Teaneck New Jersey

[annabanana]

http://www.northjersey.com/news/teaneck-dealing-with-turkeys-with-some-noise-of-its-own-1.1538916

So far this year, there have been about a dozen complaints from residents of aggressive wild turkeys, as well as one police report. Some birds have attacked residents, pecked at cars, held up traffic and even flown through one resident’s glass kitchen window.

Schweitzer, township Health Officer Ken Katter and Vincent Ascolese, an animal control officer, attended Tuesday night’s council meeting to discuss how residents can handle encounters with the wild birds.

Only the state has the ability to touch the birds. But to humanely scare away the birds, Schweitzer and Ascolese noted the importance of humans asserting dominance, such as by using water hoses or making loud noises.

[sharp_stick]

1. A couple of years ago I had a big Tom

chasing my car down the road. I stopped to let a bunch of turkeys finish crossing the road and I guess he thought I was eyeballing one of his ladies a little to closely.

He was super pissed off, so I drove on nice and slowly while I laughed.

[KamaAina]

2. This is Les Nessman reporting live!

[pokerfan]

6. It was like the turkeys mounted a counter-attack!

(Les walks in, looking dazed)

Venus: Les! Are you okay?

Les: I don't know. A man and his two children tried to kill me. After the turkeys hit the pavement, the crowd kind of scattered but, some of them tried to attack me! I had to jam myself into a phone booth! Then Mr. Carlson had the helicopter land in the middle of the parking lot. I guess he thought he could save the day by turning the rest of the turkeys loose. It gets pretty strange after that.

Venus: How is it strange?

Andy: Yeah, right. Les, c'mon now, tell us the rest.

Les Nessman: I really don't know how to describe it. It was like the turkeys mounted a counter-attack! It was almost as if they were... organized!

(Mr. Carlson comes out of his office)

Carlson: As God is my witness, I thought turkeys could fly!

[shenmue]

3. A turkey named Chris Christie attacked the governorship

[Submariner]

4. Reservoir Turkeys

They're trying out for a new Quentin Tarantino movie.

[csziggy]

7. Based on an Alfred Hitchcock script!

[LiberalElite]

8. Is it mating season? nt

[So Far From Heaven]

5. When I was a kid grandma lived in Alamosa

on a farm, and one of her turkeys had it in for me. Chased my ass all over the place. One day I fell down running away from the terrorist bird and it pecked me pretty badly.

Mysteriously, turkey was on the menu a couple of days later.