That was pretty painful.

[hobbit709]

Just saw my mother at the assisted living center she got moved into this week. She's just about 85.
The last time I saw her a year ago was pretty bad but her mind has definitely deteriorated since. Her memory is stuck on about a 3 minute loop.
She thinks she's somewhere in Indiana at a hotel and wants to get on a bus to Columbus, OH-where she hasn't lived for over 15 years.
She can remember things perfectly before 1965 or so but everything since then is hit or miss.

[In_The_Wind]

1. I'm sorry hobbit.

[irisblue]

2. sorry friend

[DFW]

3. I don't know which is worse, but that sounds awful

My mom, whose high cholesterol I inherited, knew she was a high risk for a stroke. She instructed us that if and when it came, she did not want to live as a vegetable, and not to let her get there. One fine day, it happened. The ambulance came, and my brother was summoned. He was told to make a decision right there and then, and the doc said like immediately, not in 5 minutes, if he should operate. My brother asked what the best case scenario would be. The doc said she was already brain-dead, so she'd live as a vegetable for maybe six months. My brother knew as well as I did what our mother wanted, so he said let her go, and once he said it, the doc told him he made the right decision, as no one would ever talk to her again anyway.

Your mom can talk, but the issue is to whom, where and when. Your perceptions of those questions are completely different from hers. I wouldn't want to be in your shoes right about now. Sorry to hear that you are.

[panader0]

4. My dad died from dementia

Toward the end he didn't know me by name and called everything he couldn't remember "the biscuit".
Sometimes I fear that may be my future too....
Sorry hobbit, I know how it feels.

[Skittles]

5. so sorry hobbit709

I hope that loop is a good memory for your mum

[kairos12]

6. I'm sorry to hear this. It is truly sad.

[handmade34]

7. ...

I understand

[steve2470]

8. very sorry to hear this, my best wishes to you and your mom

[Rhiannon12866]

9. I understand, my friend, and can empathize...

At about the same age, my mother invented a fictitious son who was apparently always "away." Strangely, he had the same name as my actual brother, though it seems that it was spelled differently. When I questioned his existence, she treated it like I was joking, which I guess wasn't entirely a bad thing. And when my childhood friend's grandmother was finally moved to assisted living, she was delighted, believed she was on a cruise to Hawaii. In a lot of ways, it's harder on us. You do what you can, but you miss your Mom...

[itsrobert]

10. Yup, growing old in America

is not always the best. We can do better.

sorry you are going through this.

[csziggy]

11. Sympathy to you

It's hard to see the deterioration.

Give her all the love you can while she is still around.

[roguevalley]

12. this is such a degrading thing to happen to someone

you are her angel. you are doing all you can. I wish you love and peace. I wish her the same.

[MissB]

13. I'm so sorry.

I understand. I lost my dad last year and it is shocking how quickly dementia can progress.

I wish you the best.

[mackerel]

14. My best to you. Going through the same thing myself.

My mother is still at home. We're hoping we can have her at home for a while longer.

[bigwillq]

15. That stinks.

All the best to both of you.

[myrna minx]

16. .