Top ten groups of people that piss me off so much I only see red
My wife tells me I have a problem with people. I don’t. I love people. I hate assholes. I have an asshole problem. Below are the top ten things that set me off from zero to boom in three seconds. I’m sure you have the same issues and same beliefs.
10. People cutting in line
Look, I can wait in line. Really, I can. I am very patient waiting in line, so long as there isn’t an argument over something stupid (more on that later). But what sets me off completely is when some douchey little turd decides they need to be before me. In China, this happens all the time at train stations queues. Some asshole will walk right to the front, talk to the clerk and then weasel their way in to get their tickets. I hit the roof and start scream “back of the line, asswipe.”
09. Clerks doing stupid shit
There are three things here that make me explode:
A: Clerks that let people jump in line: Look, how hard is it to say “Excuse me, this gentleman was first. Please wait your turn.” That would save a huge problem and takes less than five seconds to say.
B: Clerks that ignore the customer because they have better things to do: Example just happened. I am standing four five minutes waiting for a clerk to acknowledge me but they ignore me so they can talk to their friend. The other is when I get their supervisors making excuses for them and then getting angry when I refuse to accept their pissant excuse.
C: Clerks that assume I know things about a place I’ve never been to in life; Communication is good in business. Remember, I am giving you money. If I ask you something, don’t assume I know the answer. Be polite and answer it. And if I make a mistake, don’t give me an attitude. I almost collapsed the skull of a waiter in TGI Friday’s for doing that to me.
08. Parents who do not shut up their yammering spawn of Hell.
On the train, bus, plane or in the restaurant, there is nothing more “nails on a chalkboard” than a little brat either screaming at the top of their lungs or a baby crying and the parents ignoring it. Look, teach your little brat that children are to be seen and not heard. Let me have five minutes with the Demon Spawn and I’ll show you how to be a parent.
07. College dropouts who think they know more than I do about everything
Look, ignorant people. Just because you saw something on Fox News doesn’t mean you’re a damn expert. Someone spend three hours listening to Fatboy Limbaugh and now they are experts on politics, economics and sociology. Meanwhile, my college education is meaningless in their eyes. I’m an elitist. I’d rather be an elitist than a douchebag.
06. People who argue over a price they cannot change
Back to China and the train station. Ticket prices are set. Whining that you want to pay less isn’t going to make it happen. Look, skeezix, pay for your ticket and get out of the way. No, dorko in the “getting ready for the flood” pants is going to bitch and moan about the price, pissing me off and making me late.
05. Foreigners who come to my country to shit on it
This really pisses me off. I hate it when foreigners say “well, back in my country. . .” I don’t do that. I’m not in the US. This is an illogical argument. I moved to China, I needed to learn Chinese. But, foreigners move to mine and will shit on what my country is, my culture and claim that if we make them learn English, we’re robbing them of their rich cultural heritage. Looks, dumbo, you gave that crap up when you left your third world shit farm. But if an American goes to their country, we have to give up everything we are immediately, learn their language and not shit on anything their country does. After all, it’s “our way, our culture, our traditions and if you don’t like it, you’re a guest and you need to go home.” That’s the ultimate in sophistry.
04. Anyone who looks for reasons to say no
Instead of looking for every shallow reason to say no, look for reasons to say yes and overcome the reasons to say no. I ran into this for 18 years in Hollywood. Hollywood is the only place where you can go to work at 9:00, read your emails, say no to everything and be done with your day’s work by 9:30.
03. Shallow, superficial people
“You’re not my type” “We’re just good friends.” “You’re a nice guy, but. . .” Go eat a bag of dicks.
02. Bald faced liars and hypocrites
Do I need to explain this? I trust a thief more than I trust a liar.
01. The “Nongmin” philosophy
Nongmin means “farmer” in China. It is foreigner slang for the average, low class Chinese person stuck in their narrow, xenophobic, ignorant and jingoistic ways. In the US, we call these people Trump supporters, fundamentalist wack jobs of all stripes, PC liberal campus pricks and most flag waving, “America: World Police” type idiots. For every educated, intelligent person, there are 1,000 nongs out there. And just because you have an education doesn’t mean you aren’t a nong. Michael Savage and Jerome Corsi have PhDs and they are nongs.
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