My daughter's family just got a dog, not working out

[Marthe48]

They have young children and got a larger shepherd type dog. The dog is not a year old and almost as big as the children and definitely knows how to leverage body weight. After losing their previous dogs to old age, my daughter and son-in-law researched the kind of dog they wanted and needed, and got this one from a rescue. They've had the dog for a week, and there are red flags popping up. The rescue doesn't seem to have described the dog accurately, behavior-wise. Pup is supposed to be ok alone, and so far, isn't. Supposedly not aggressive, but keeps jumping on the kids and has nipped them in play, so they don't want to be around the pup. Supposedly good around other animals and is not. It has only been a week. Pup is obedient to me, and other adults in the picture, but I am afraid the kids will get hurt, or the other animals will be in the wrong place at the wrong time.

I haven't had my own dog for a long time, but always around other peoples' dogs, and this type of dog isn't what I'd pick for myself. I've interacted with the pup 2 days so far, and we're talking boundless energy and big puppy! I think a week is long enough to see that it isn't going to work out, between work schedules, the pup not protecting the kids, but seeing them as other puppies or chew toys. If my grand kids and the other pets weren't in the house, I'd say give the pup every chance. But with the kids and the pets, I don't have that outlook. We watch our grand kids a lot at their home and ours, so we have been and will be pet watchers as long as they have pets.

How long would you give a new dog? I don't have a say in what happens, and this is a new situation for me--all my dogs were strays that worked out. It is easy to make me a nervous wreck and I don't want to let my fears color what they decide to do. It is sad that this dog might not be the right dog after all. Thanks

[lovemydog]

1. I suggest lots of exercise for the dog.

I mean every day someone accompanying the dog to a park where it can run around and go nuts and knock itself out.

Followed by not leaving the dog alone.

Followed by assigning one or all who can and will spend the time necessary to properly train (discipline) the dog.

Dogs are pack animals. They need to know their place in the pack. If they are left alone too much they will get neurotic. If they don't the exercise they need every day they will displace that energy toward negative behavior. If they don't get the discipline they need they will assert themselves and be confused about their place in the pack.

If all these things cannot be provided then it's probably not the right home for the dog.

Just my opinion. I hope this helps a bit. Good luck!

[Marthe48]

10. They have a home in the country

and the days I got to care for the dog, I threw tennis balls down a steep hill for an hour at a time for Pup to retrieve. And the other adults are excercising Pup as much as they can. My big concern is safety for the kids. My daughter and her family have given good homes to other dogs and the other dogs were wonderful with the kids. Both rescues, both pups when they arrived and died of old age. But they were different kinds of dogs.

[underahedgerow]

2. Cesar Millan should be their new best friend. They should watch every single episode and series

that man has to offer. There are no problems his methods cannot fix, and no people he cannot retrain in how to handle any type of dog personality, and there isn't a dog and familly on on the planet that cannot benefit from his work.

I just can't recommend a series binge of 'The Dog Whisperer' strongly enough for you and your family! It will be the best thing everyone can do, so I hope you'll take my advice seriously... I do wish them and you all the best of luck!

[Marthe48]

11. I'll tell them ty

n/t

[alphafemale]

3. The dog probably deserves a better home.

Maybe they should try a goldfish.

[Marthe48]

12. If they didn't have kids and other pets

it would be the best of homes. The dogs they had before were well-trained, gentle, and when the grand children came along, accepting of them. I don't think this pup was represented accurately. Now this week, and from now on, someone will be with the pup almost constantly, so I guess we'll know in a week or so if things go better.

[mnhtnbb]

4. Better to contact the rescue group about returning the dog to them now

if either mom or dad doesn't have the time to devote to training, socializing, and exercising the dog.

[hedgehog]

5. I agree- send the dog back to the rescue group with full information

so the dog can find a proper home.

[magical thyme]

6. agreed. this also raises questions about the quality of the rescue

A good shelter accurately describes the critter and makes every attempt to ensure a good fit.

Our local shelter does "slumber parties" for dogs as well, so there is a trial period to ensure a good fit.

[Marthe48]

13. I'm getting that feeling

The rescue said Pup was ok alone. Until boredom sets in, then, not. And was ok with kids, well, until one of the kids gets knocked down or nipped. I don't think any of us want the pup to be one of those sad stories. With the right adult, which the rescue should have emphasized, this would be a good loyal dog. I've been volunteering at my local shelter and I like the way the staff there describes the dogs, and limits novice volunteers to dogs that aren't going to be hard to handle.

[femmocrat]

7. I also agree.

They are not the right match for this dog. The rescue group should have realized that small kids and a big, boisterous puppy in need of training would not work out. He would probably be fine in a home that can take care of him properly and give him time to mature.

[RobinA]

8. Rescues Seem

mainly interested in placing dogs. We tried to get a dog for my mother, and although she seemed to do well in her foster home, she hated my father on sight and attempted to bite him several times, once successfully. The dog went back after three days and they asked us to describe the dog for future adoption. They weren't really interested in hearing anything negative. Notably, 9 months later the dog is still up for adoption. She's a nice looking dog, but I suspect my father isn't the first person she didn't like.

[Marthe48]

14. that's too bad

for everyone. Years ago, my Mom adopted a huge St. Bernard. He bit my brother the first time her saw him. We figured out that the dog didn't like men with hats. He tolerated my husband for a year or more, but then changed. We found a home for him where he was happy, and he lived a good long time. We used to see him riding in the back of a pick-up looking like a king And the driver was always the Dad of the family who took him.

[likesmountains 52]

16. Agree..they will say anything to place a dog sometimes

My daughter got a rescue who was advertised as well socialized etc. The little blurb said it was from a loving family that just had to move away and couldn't keep him. They have had this poor, sad, anxious dog for over a year and he never gets better. Severe separation anxiety, chewed his way out of the kennel ( that he was supposed to love), pees in the house if left alone for > an hour, is on Prozac......She doesn't want to give him up ,b/c he will probably not ever make the cut to be adopted again, so she is stuck with an neurotic pet. We have had dogs all of our lives, but this experience really made me question the veracity of some rescue sites.

[UTUSN]

9. When it don't work it don't work - it ain't a generic thing nt

[Marthe48]

15. yep

Well, if having adult companionship all day every day is the answer, we'll know in a week or so.

[TorchTheWitch]

17. The dog is a PUPPY and hasn't been misrepresented

If your daughter and son-in-law researched the kind of dog they wanted and needed, why on earth did they get a large breed, high energy PUPPY and then give it full run of the house? It's THEIR job to correctly train the dog and keep it from accidentally (or otherwise) harming the children, anyone else or their belongings, and that requires CONFINING the dog so he learns that he's on the back of the line in pack order and only gets the PRIVILEGE of freely interacting with anyone when he has learned what behavior is acceptable and what is not.

Owning a dog takes a LOT of work and time, and it seems to me that your daughter and son-in-law can't be arsed to do any of it expecting a PUPPY to somehow magically become well-behaved all on its own. He shouldn't be having the full run of the house until he's around 18 months old and NEVER away from physical control around young children.

Luckily the dog is still a puppy when they love everyone and want to be accepted by everyone, but it won't be long before it may start showing aggressive behavior since it's got free run of the home and no discipline or training. There's nothing wrong with the dog - everything you've described is perfectly normal puppy behavior for a puppy that has zero boundaries.

Your daughter and son-in-law desperately need to commit to the time and work it takes to create a well-behaved dog ESPECIALLY because they have young children and the dog they chose is a large breed, high energy animal. If they won't make that commitment the dog needs to go back to the rescue where it will hopefully be given to a family that will. It's not the dog that's the problem.

If they are willing to make the necessary commitment, then the first thing they need to do is get a properly sized crate for the dog and keep him in it so he doesn't have full run of the house until he consistently exhibits desired behavior. When not in the crate he needs to be watched CONSTANTLY and taught what behaviors are acceptable and what are not.

I VERY HIGHLY recommend the Leerburg website concerning everything one wants to know about all kinds of training for dogs. Ed Frawley is one of the best dog trainers in the world, and from what I can tell it's who Milan based his own methods on. Your daughter and son-in-law first need to learn about dog behavior and pack mentality. Ed has many training videos and books available for purchase on his site, however, he also has something like 10,000 pages of free articles and videos.

About Ed...
http://leerburg.com/history.htm

Ed's Philosophy...
http://leerburg.com/philosophy.htm

Training Articles...
http://leerburg.com/training-articles.htm

There is also a Q&A and forum as well as the best products and toys there are that Leerburg personally uses with its own dogs (Ed won't sell anything he wouldn't use himself) at very reasonable prices, excellent customer service, and he uses packing "peanuts" that are edible, digestible and biodegradable for safety and the environment...
https://leerburg.com/flix/player.php/71/Leerburg_Shipping_Peanuts_-_YOU_CAN_EAT_THEM

[Duppers]

18. 100% agree: The dog is not the problem.

However, more than likely, they need a smaller dog who has already been trained if they cannot devote the time to this fur kid.

Having a dog is such an investment -- giving them the care they need requires much attention, time, energy, and money--proper vet care and crates etc. are not cheap.

We're in our 6th month with a big, lovable 8 mo. old Lab pup and as much as we appreciate and adore her, it's crossed our minds that perhaps we too should have chosen a smaller fur kid. But we are 100% committed, even though she's exhausting us. Our problem is our age. We've had labs before but we're not the energetic whippersnappers we once were. We forgot how much energy raising a big pup takes. She'll calm down in the next 6 months, so we're willing to stick it out and hang in there. Besides, she is so sweet and adorable and she's learning.

Good luck, Marthe48, to your children, grand children, and granddog. Keep us posted.

[a la izquierda]

19. My $.02, fwiw...

I have a lifetime of experience with dogs and rescues. I volunteered at a no-kill humane society, my husband has managed various kennels and doggie daycares, etc. We know dogs pretty well.

If they don't want to take the dog back, it needs to get into obedience school, stat. Puppies nip, pretty much all of them, until they're taught not to. Big puppies (or dogs) and little ones are hard because the dog can't help that little kids are easily knocked over. Obedience training to get the dog under control can help with that. I have a 65# Viszla/Boxer mix that I found abandoned. He is 10 years old. He will still knock ME over sometimes, if he's really wound up. We warn our friends with children that if they come over, the kids can sit quietly and we will get our dogs to meet them, calmly, and then our dogs (3 of them) go off and do their own thing.

Second, the puppy should be crate-trained. I've never done it with my dogs, but it's not that difficult. Dogs like dens. If a crate is treated like a "home base" instead of a "time out" place, they will come to appreciate it.

Third, as someone mentioned, get that dog exercise. When my big guy was younger, I had to run him. A lot. He doesn't need it as much now because he's old and has arthritis.

Four, there are ways to train undesirable behavior. My dogs hates cats. Therefore, when being walked, he WILL obey me if he sees a cat and freaks out. He knows we're the boss and he will sit on his butt and calm down before he's allowed to do anything else. When he behaves, he gets a treat. If he continues to spazz out, he has to sit and watch me...which takes all of his energy. But he is leaps better than he used to be. I'd never let him around cats...but my 5# chihuahua is the boss of him.

Rescues are evaluating dogs in a shelter, which is a far cry from a home environment. Those who rely on fosters have a better sense of the dogs' behaviors, because they're in "real" environments. A shelter is a tough place for sensory animals like dogs. It's noisy night and day, dogs are stressed, others feed off that stress.