How do I break up with my hair stylist?

[nadine_mn]

Ok so I have been going to the same stylist for over 11 yrs. She has always done a fantastic job and even though (because of unemployment) I have cut back on my visits, I still give her a holiday card with around $40 in it. She changed salons this year (Aveda salons) and I have been there twice. And fricking hate it. The Aveda salon she is at now is inconvenient for me to drive to and is just icky. Super uncomfortable waiting area, rude receptionist, the whole salon is just cramped. The last time I saw her she was double booked so doing a hair color on one person and trying to cut my hair at the same time.

So there is an Aveda salon 3 miles from my house that had opened 8 yrs ago, but because I was seeing my stylist at her old place I never checked it out. But I went 2 weeks ago and oh man what a difference!

The salon is beautiful, everyone is super friendly, comfortable waiting area, lots of space. My stylist was fantastic - I got a nice little pressure point message with scented oil. She gave me her full attention and I have never been happier. The cut is nice too.

I am never going back to that other salon. But now that it is holiday time, when I usually give my old stylist a gift, I don't know what to do. I don't know how to politely say it's not you, it's the shitty salon you work at.

Should I just forget about it? Schedule one last visit? Mail her a card?

[CaliforniaPeggy]

1. I'd send her a nice card, and leave it at that. If she asks what happened, tell her.

The new salon sounds perfect!

Good luck.

[nadine_mn]

11. thanks dear CA Peggy

do I say I won't be coming back? Or I found someone new? Or just a Happy Holidays with gift and then never go back?

[No Vested Interest]

22. I am sort of chicken when it comes to breaking off. I'd probably tell her

a white lie - something like her current salon being too inconvenient to get to.

But, yes, a card at the holidays is always a nice gesture, and she will appreciate hearing from you.

[DFW]

2. Just like Peggy said, and then sing her a Paul Simon song

"Fifty Ways To Leave Your Coiffeur"

I may not have the title exactly right, come to think of it...

[pinboy3niner]

4. The problem is all on top of your head she said to me...

You Just snip off the back, Jack...

[Ptah]

9. Give me a trim, Tim

[kwassa]

15. or give me a fade, Jade.

[lovemydog]

29. scrap the Teddy Boy, Roy

[BlueJazz]

3. What California Peggy says. You were a customer and now you are not. It's that simple.

[oldandhappy]

5. Mail the card

You can say nothing or you can make it simple.'Sorry I am not comfortable in the new place.' Tis enough. Customers have choices! She has to know. Other customers are not as nice as you are. I am sure other people have expressed themselves forcefully on the subject!

[NJCher]

16. I agree with oldandhappy

I think you should just be honest. So few people are, you know.

Also, it's never just you. I'll bet there are other customers who feel the same as you, but who won't say a word. Then the poor stylist remains ignorant, when in fact she needs the feedback about the salon so that she can make wiser choices in the future.

I think it's also very nice of you to give her a gift when you are, in fact, moving on.


Cher

[Phentex]

6. They had stylists on the radio and most said it reallly wasn't a big deal...

I think it's the customer that has the harder time. They even said they don't mind when a person wants to try another stylist in the same salon as long as you don't get all weird about it.

I have followed stylists to another salon only to have them quit. I have stayed with ones I liked until I got the same treatment as you (being handled by multiple people or waiting to be cut while she finished color on someone else.) Some have quit without telling me where they went. I got really fed up at one point.

So, like you, I decided to try a salon that's very convenient for me. I vowed NOT to see the same person each time and I made it clear to the owner. It's just something about stylists that make it a very transient job. I'd show up for an appointment and they'd say "Oh, so and so quit yesterday. Do you mind seeing X?"

I actually had good luck trying new people. The latest person I'm with has been there about a year which is now a record for me! But if I can't schedule her when I need it, I just go with anyone.

I would just forget about the old stylist. IF she calls you, which would be surprising, I'd say I'd found a place that's more convenient. Trust me, if she cared about your feelings, she would have given you the attention you deserve.

[nadine_mn]

12. I suppose you are right

I am so worried that her feelings may be hurt. But just like stylists come and go, I guess so do customers. If I hadn't been seeing her for so dang long it would be easier.

[Orrex]

7. Tell her it's time that you parted

Or that you want to get back to your roots.

Or when you go in for highlights, shout "Curses! Foiled again!" and run out.

Or say that nothing is really permanent and that all things must dye.

[nadine_mn]

10. groan - the puns!

thanks

[Orrex]

14. Glad to help!

[Snobblevitch]

8. Print a copy of this thread and include it with the card.

[hopemountain]

27. lol.

[Liberal_in_LA]

13. double booking it's respectful towards you as a customer. She's not family. send her a card.

don't go back.

[Myrth]

26. It is disrespectful

And I wouldn't go back. After that level of disrespect, I am not sure I would send a card. She's not family. She's not a social friend. And she is treating the OP disrespectfully. This does not really require an explanation, an apology, flowers, cards, or "let's be friends." It just requires picking a new place to get a haircut, going there, and moving forward.

[bigwillq]

17. Why is honesty so hard for people?

Tell the truth.

Say what you wrote.

It's not you, it's the salon.

Done and done.

[Skittles]

19. I agree

[cwydro]

23. In other words...

Bye Felicia.

[bigwillq]

24. Yup.

[AngryOldDem]

18. Keep in touch with her.

As bad as the place is for you, I can most likely guarantee that it is 1,000% worse for her. The double-booking speaks for itself.

Hair stylists basically are independent contractors. They "rent" their spaces from the owner, and if the owner gets abusive, stylists leave. Good stylists can go just about anywhere. My guess is she was told one thing about the place and when she got there it was the exact opposite. We all make bad job changes at times.

I had a really good stylist a while ago who worked at one of the more "upscale" salons in the area (note quotes). The place was a managerial horror show, and at one of my appointments she let me know on the QT that she was leaving, and told me where she was going. She had a lot of happy clients, and I'm sure when she left, they followed. Not soon after, the salon went out of business -- what a shock. She ended up at a much nicer, smaller salon, and was very, very happy.

Although it sounds like you found another good stylist (lucky for you), I realize how hard it is to leave the old one. As I said, keep in touch because I'm sure she won't be too far behind you out the door.

[3catwoman3]

20. My stylist is the owner of the salon. She is fabulous, and I have told her...

...that if she moves or retires before I die, we will have to video her doing my cut so someone else will know what to do. She uses 4 different tools to accomplish the cut.

I found her by following someone into the produce section of a grocery store right after we first moved here, and asking her the name of her stylist. This woman is the only one to have touched my hair in almost 22 years. I would follow her anywhere.

I think a brief, factual, polite note to your former stylist would be sufficient.

[Hassin Bin Sober]

21. shave your head and tell her it's you not her

Truth would be easier though

[Myrth]

25. I am about to do the same thing

I used to go across the road to my neighbor's for my haircuts. But they moved. They rented their house to a burglar / sex offender. They knew about his past but rented to him in exchange for him working on the house. We now lock our gates. Burglaries are up in the neighborhood. I would rather find a new hair stylist than give her support for bringing this into my life. I will not be sending her a card. I will not give her an explanation. I will simply take my business elsewhere.

[Special Prosciuto]

28. split ends?

[nadine_mn]

30. lol nice one nt

[Arugula Latte]

31. Seinfeld faced a similar dilemma (except in his case it WAS the barber).

http://yadayadayadaecon.com/clip/44/

[hack89]

32. Fake your death and move to a new town. nt