A minor refresher course is in order here:
"Ein grosses Bier und ein kleines Bier, bitte."
When you get the check, and you're rounding it up, just say the amount. If they say 16,50, and you want to include a tip of €1,50 or €2,50 (they won't expect more unless they've gone out of their way for you), just say "18," or "18, bitte."
"Verkaufen du ihre Fuehrerschein am Neckermann?" gets the Chinese menu translation award of this thread. It's sorta close to "You selling her driver's license at Neckarmann?" (Neckarmann is sort of a Walmart chain of travel agencies). What they usually say is "Hast Du Deinen Führerschein bei Karstadt gekauft? (Did you buy your driver's license at Karstadt?)" Karstadt is a chain department store, but Germans are very aggressive drivers. If you do something wrong, they are rarely that polite.
The tax refund places at the airport are usually with long lines and some demand long forms that the vendor will have to give you for tax refund. Make sure it's worthwhile, or don't bother.
The Döner Kebap is indeed something rarely seen in the States, although the Greek Gyros come close. Make sure the place (they're everywhere) you get it from has fresh-looking garnishes. The Döner Kebap is a Turkish fast (kinda, sorta) food that consists of a quarter-pizza (small) size pocket bread which they fill with meat (I'll get to that) and then finished off with (you get to choose) chopped lettuce, tomato, white cabbage, feta cheese, and onions. You can choose or mix tzatziki, yoghurt sauce or a red hot sauce to top it off. They are incredibly cheap, usually 4 euros or so. the meat is carved from a rotating skewer that slow-grills the meat on the skewer as it rotates. They usually offer two kinds of meat. There is the veal/lamb spit and the "chicken" spit. As Muslims are not supposed to eat pork, the veal-lamb spit is not supposed to contain any. Random studies have shown that they put pork in there all the time. They pile slabs of marinated meat and compress them so that it's easy to carve from the rotating spit. They also offer chicken, although the meat from the "chicken" Döner is often some kind of odd poultry. It usually tastes OK, but I'm not sure I want to see a detailed anaylsis of what is really in there. I risk being disappointed.
That having been said, you can also order a lahmacun (LAH-ma june), which is also known as a Turkish Pizza. It is thin, soft, and rolled up with either fresh salad and feta cheese or Döner meat (and then some yoghurt sauce) for a supplemental price.
Either way, jmow is absolutely correct that it is a wonder of modern cuisine, and some enterprising American is going to make him- or herself a Koch-like fortune some day when they figure out how to open a few dozen thousand of these places in the States.
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