Fellow wise-asses, check in here...

[ohiosmith]

[LaurenG]

1. you rang?

[ohiosmith]

5. Wise-ass!

[crunch60]

46. Is this the party to whom I am speaking?

[denbot]

2. Um did you call for dumb-asses?

Derp..

[ohiosmith]

6. Wise-asses. Wise-ass!

[geardaddy]

3. A wise-ass says what?

What?

[ohiosmith]

7. Wise-ass!

[Rosie1223]

4. Seriously?

Like I have time to respond to stuff like this?

[ohiosmith]

10. Wise-ass!

[Wait Wut]

8. Pfft.

It ain't just wise...it's smart, too!

[ohiosmith]

11. Wise-ass!

[graywarrior]

9. Yo, betch!

[ohiosmith]

14. Wise-ass!

[Ptah]

12. Hey, where's the dumbass thread?

[madinmaryland]

13. Checking in!!

[Ptah]

16. We're all dumbass on this bus!

[ohiosmith]

15. There are several in GD.

[Ptah]

19. I'm shocked!

[trof]

17. Awww...piss off.

[ohiosmith]

18. Rather piss off than be pissed on. Wise-ass!

[bluedigger]

20. It's about time someone recognized my special gift.

[ohiosmith]

32. Wise-ass!

[dimbear]

21. Some are born great, others have greatness thrust upon them.

The times make us so.

[ohiosmith]

33. Wise-ass!

[benld74]

22. Yo!

[rug]

23. My ass is so wise Dumbledore used to consult it

before that unfortunate you know what by you know who.

[krispos42]

24. Oh, is that what they're calling it nowadays?

[rug]

25. .

[krispos42]

26. So does your ass work like a magic 8-ball?

Where does the answer show up? And does it help if I shake you up first?

[rug]

27. Ask later.

[krispos42]

28. *shakes rug's ass*

"How much later?"

[rug]

31. Outlook not so good

And stop shaking my ass!

[Major Nikon]

30. Mine does

The trigger is my right index finger. The answer has to be derived from the redolence. A smell of strawberry indicates a yes answer and the smell of potpourri indicates a no answer. Anything else gets more complicated and is not unlike tasseography.

[krispos42]

37. Jeez, two words I had to Google.

I think if your ass gave me an answer, I'd be unable to understand it!

[Major Nikon]

40. You sure as hell would have to spend some time contemplating it

I didn't say it was going to be easy.

Believe it or not, the scent of smell is very highly evolved sense and is right up there with seeing and hearing. You can differentiate between hundreds of different smells, even if they are present in very minute quantities relative to other smells. Imagine how much information can be conveyed in a very short amount of time. The Greek priests shouldn't have been trying to interpret the words of the Oracle at Delphi. They should have been smelling their farts.

[crunch60]

45. What's your favorite smell? I have a overdeveloped Olfactory nerve. Is that a good thing?

[Major Nikon]

47. I have an opening for a high priest to interpret my flatulence

[siligut]

48. Try probiotics and reducing your beer intake

Your farts don't need interpretation, they need intervention

[Major Nikon]

49. I eat yogurt made with imported cultures

I rarely drink beer, but when I do it's only from the finest microbreweries available.

Words like "brilliant" and "epic" are frequently used to describe my flatulence.

When I fart in an elevator, people often break out spontaneously in song.

Strangers sometimes come up to me and ask to pull my finger.

[siligut]

50. OMG, Johnathan Goldsmith, is that you?

And is that rare beer you drink really a Dos Equis?

[Major Nikon]

51. Jonathan Goldsmith often calls me up asking how to improve his farts

The first thing I always say is he needs to stop drinking those goddam Dos Equis.

[siligut]

54. OK, now I think you are being a wise-ass

Jonathan Goldsmith doesn't fart because he eats his yogurt and rarely drinks beer. I shoulda known I'd run into a wise-ass in this thread, but you had me goin' there for a bit

[OriginalGeek]

29. I was gonna check in

but I ain't coppin' ta nuttin!

[ohiosmith]

34. Wise-ass. Not wise-guy.

[Bake]

35. Might as well

Got nothing better to do ...



Bake

[ohiosmith]

36. Wise-ass!

[Rambis]

38. Here

[ohiosmith]

39. Wise-ass!

[cliffordu]

41. Here

[ohiosmith]

42. Wise-ass!

[cliffordu]

43. Right back atcha

Wise-ass!!!

[Mopar151]

44. Old Norm used to tell me

"Everybody likes a little ass, but nobody likes a wiseass!" Nonetheless, I humbly remain....

[ohiosmith]

53. A little wise-ass ass never hurt anyone.

[unionworks]

52. Heh Heh

[ohiosmith]

55. Excellent!

[Bladian]

56. Damn dude, just leave us in peace.

Fuckin' wise-asses...

[VenusRising]

57. What are we looking for?