Welcome to DU! The truly grassroots left-of-center political community where regular people, not algorithms, drive the discussions and set the standards. Join the community: Create a free account Support DU (and get rid of ads!): Become a Star Member Latest Breaking News General Discussion The DU Lounge All Forums Issue Forums Culture Forums Alliance Forums Region Forums Support Forums Help & Search

red dog 1

(27,820 posts)
Sat Jan 17, 2015, 08:30 PM Jan 2015

The Old Man and the Semen

An 85-year-old man was requested by his doctor for a sperm count as part of his physical exam.
The doctor gave the man a jar and said:
"Take this jar home and bring back a sperm sample tomorrow"

The next day the old man reappeared at the doctor's office and gave him the jar, which was as clean and empty as on the previous day.

The doctor asked "What Happened?"
and the man exclaimed, "Well doc, t's like this -- first I tried with my right hand, but nothing.
Then I tried with my left hand, and still nothing..Then I asked my wife for help..She tried with her right hand, then with her left, still nothing...She tried with her mouth. first with the teeth in, then with her teeth out, still nothing...We even called up Arleen, the lady next door and she tried too, first with both hands, then an armpit, and she even tried squeezin' it between her knees, but still nothing."

The doctor was shocked!
"You asked your neighbor?"

The old man replied, "Yep, none of us could get the jar open."

2 replies = new reply since forum marked as read
Highlight: NoneDon't highlight anything 5 newestHighlight 5 most recent replies
The Old Man and the Semen (Original Post) red dog 1 Jan 2015 OP
An old man Ole & Lena joke Blue Owl Jan 2015 #1
Good one! red dog 1 Jan 2015 #2

Blue Owl

(50,427 posts)
1. An old man Ole & Lena joke
Sat Jan 17, 2015, 10:08 PM
Jan 2015

Grandpa Ole is at the doctors office for an annual check-up, and the doctor asks him for a stool, urine, and semen sample. Being hard of hearing, Grandpa Ole says "What?" so Grandma Lena yells to him "just give him your pair of underpants!"

Latest Discussions»The DU Lounge»The Old Man and the Semen