Do you google someone before going out with them?

[Bucky]

What's the borderline between "checking her out" and "creepy stalker"? Cause I kinda want to stop myself, and yet I kinda want to satisfy my curiosity.

[sakabatou]

1. Haven't had to for almost 8 years since already in a relationship

^_^

[alarimer]

2. No, only after we've broken up.

I'm kidding, mostly.

Well I have sometimes googled exes. But not in a stalkery sort of way. I was just curious what happened to them.

[dawg]

3. I think I would.

I mean, I think I WILL!

No offence, but there are lots of crazy people out there. It just seems like a common sense precaution to me.

[Bucky]

4. Well if "crazy people out there is the standard

then she should be googling me

[dawg]

5. I certainly wouldn't mind it if some woman googled me.

I'd just think she was being careful.

[yuiyoshida]

6. Hi Bucky...

Did you google someone?

[Bucky]

16. I did and felt so dirty for it

see below

[hunter]

7. Google didn't exist when I was going out with people.

Of course I'm not the sort of person who would have paid any attention at all to internet history, so why bother looking in the first place?

If she'd shot her last five lovers I'd have figured they all deserved it and ended up as the sixth.

I can look at my hands on the keyboard as I type this and see scars from such relationships.

[RebelOne]

12. I am not in the dating scene any longer.

I had a computer and wish there had been an Internet, but that was a long, long time ago. There were a lot of creeps that I wish could have Googled.

[Mr.Bill]

8. No Google (or internet, for that matter)

when I was dating, but today I would. I would expect her to do the same.

Fortunately, my wife and I relied on good old fashioned honesty when we met, and that worked. I know many for whom it did not.

[underahedgerow]

9. Absolutely!! Especially with this online dating thing, for sure!

I sure learned as much as I needed about a few scallywags, including one doctor under prosecution for fraud and another 'financial advisor' guy prosecuted for fraud & tax evasion, and then another 'entrepreneur' who was prosecuted for financial crimes and stock manipulation & insider trading.

On the other hand I also learned that a lovely guy was indeed telling me the truth about his line of business even though it seemed too good to be true (considering the track record of the other guys!!)

I did get catfished once though, with a story that went on over many months that was so convoluted and insane that it still blows my mind. I never did figure out quite who this person was... but the bottom line is, yes, there is no harm in googling someone, and it's for your own self preservation, that's for sure!

[The Velveteen Ocelot]

10. If I were still dating, you bet I would,

especially if it were someone I'd met on line. I'd also do a criminal background check if possible (in a lot of states that's public information you can get on line, for free). There are a lot of weirdos out there.

[Xyzse]

11. I don't.

Since I'm adventurous, I think I'd have fun no matter what.

Of course, that is also because I want to make friends rather than looking for anything more.

Anything more, well, that to me takes time.

[hunter]

13. I'm not sure if I'm adventurous or misadventurous, but I always liked surprises.

Knowing too much about someone beforehand ruins the surprise. Much of the excitement is in the discovery.

Sure, I may seem quiet and shy, but I'm never careful.

I'm trying to remember my worst breakups ever. It's probably a toss-up between the woman who said she was divorced when she wasn't, or the woman whose moving car I jumped out of when things got really, really scary. Emotional pain vs. physical pain. As I recall now I got over the physical pain quicker.

[Xyzse]

15. Nice.

As you can tell from my post, pretty much most of the hanging out I have done, I have turned to friends, which to me is a good thing since I haven't really decided if I wanted more or not.

[rug]

14. Not until the third date.

[Bucky]

18. yeah, if I get to a 1st it'll still be a moral victory

[Bucky]

17. Update: karmic retribution

So we ran into each other at a party on the 31st and I shamelessly used some information I learned about her from my googling to be charming. Then I felt guilty for that. Then we agreed to meet at an event we were going to on the 1st, but I got all so tongue tied, probably from guilt but maybe from general social awkwardness, that I couldn't ask her out for coffee. So I guess the googling was a waste of time.