Just in time for Christmas: how to make jmowreader's Jello Salad
I know, I know...I've seen all the "atrocious food of the postwar period" websites. Jello is supposed to be the food of the devil.
Worry not, little ones: My jello salad contains no olives, no tuna, no celery, no spam...this is not the jellied atrocity of olden days, but a refreshing treat for today, delightful to both the eye and the palate. Unfortunately, no Vikings will attend your Christmas party if you leave the spam out, but the rest of your invitees will be grateful.
You need:
1. A large glass bowl. Know its capacity.
2. Small boxes of Jello in different flavors and colors. You need two of them for every quart the bowl holds, minus one - if you have a four-quart bowl, you need seven boxes. Cool so far?
3. Vanilla-flavored Greek yogurt, eight ounces per quart of bowl capacity. One quart of this will do anything up to a five-quart bowl. If you're serving people who can't eat sugar, use plain yogurt and add a quarter-teaspoon of vanilla per cup.
4. The best-quality fruit you can find, and several varieties of it. Do NOT use fresh pineapple, kiwi or papaya; there are enzymes in them that prevent gelatin from setting. If you want to put chopped nuts in, go for it. However, refrain from putting carrots, celery, onions or other vegetables in this. Pumpkin is definitely out.
5. Two big glass measuring cups.
6. Several little glass cups. You'll understand why in a second.
7. Real whipped cream, if you like.
8. To be going on this no later than the 23rd. This ain't gonna work if you start on Christmas morning.
To start:
a. Arrange the boxes of Jello on your counter until the color scheme looks pleasing to the eye. Starting at the left, make the first box, put it in the bowl, put bowl in fridge and go away until it sets hard.
b. Boil up some water and dissolve the second box in one cup of it. Now, add a cup of yogurt. Add a couple handfuls of fruit to one of the measuring cups, and pour in the jello until you have two cups of stuff in the cup. Stir a little, then ladle it on top of the jello in the bowl. Do not just unceremoniously dump this shit into the bowl, because it WILL look really bad. Gentle is best. Put it in the fridge and let it set. Put the rest of the jello in a glass cup and stick it in the fridge;
c. Make the next box of jello with hot and cold water, add different fruit, and gently ladle it into the bowl. Let it set. Reserve the leftovers in a cup.
d. through whatever you need to get to in order to use up all the jello except the last box: I think you get the idea here how this works. There's nothing hard about it, except for all the waiting.
Last step: make the last box with hot & cold waters and no fruit. Gently ladle it on top. You won't have extra of this flavor. Allow to cure until dinnertime.
Top with whipped cream, if you like. I wouldn't recommend unmolding it; this produces a shitload of jello salad and it keeps pretty well in the fridge if you leave it in the bowl. You can also do it in parfait glasses, wine glasses, individual cups, anything you like. (If you did it in custard cups, you could get away with unmolding those.
