Things you shouldn't send in a text...
"Your grandfather has passed. I'm sorry."
My husband didn't get the text until the next day as he was finalizing plans to go visit his grandfather in the hospital. The day before his father had called to let him know the doctors were giving him three-to-five days, but apparently grandpa passed a few hours later.
I am not sure why this information was texted, and why no follow up phone call was made to insure he got it. I am sad and angry for him; when my husband called the texter (not his dad), he was told his grandfather's body had been donated to a local medical school, the school had already picked it up the night before, and there was going to be no memorial service.
"Closure" is a personal thing; my beloved is reeling.
On a positive note, his grandfather was at my brother-in-law's birthday party, and it was a wonderful time. Those are good memories, and "not bad" if they are the last ones you have of someone you love -- smiles and laughter and happy times.
Rest in peace, Grandpa Briggs.
= new reply since forum marked as read
And I agree.
It is very easy to focus on "safe" emotions (like annoyance/anger) instead of grief, so I am working on keeping my perspective, and focusing on the loss, as opposed to the incredibly thoughtless way the information was transmitted.
I am NOT having an easy time of that.
Presumably at his father's request.
Sequence of events:
Monday, mid-afternoon: call from father "grandpa has only a few (3-5) days left."
Monday, 6'ish (?): grandpa passes.
Monday, 7:03: father's girlfriend texts above message.
Tuesday, 4'ish: husband gets text as he preps for hospital visit planned for that evening; father's girlfriend answers her phone, expresses condolences.
Husband calls father, who provides details.
how ... I don't even have words.
She is generally speaking a nice woman, so this seems out of character. 
If ever there were a time a human voice was called for . . .
It also revealed a lack of concern for my husband by his father, but that has been pretty obvious for a while.
I would like to think she was just having a "thoughtless" moment (the behavior does not seem like her), but the "no follow up phone call" is just ... not what I would expect from a grown adult, if you know what I mean.
Working on "benefit of the doubt" thoughts....
He was a nice man, and he will be missed.
Such a cold-hearted method of notification has unnecessarily added to your family's grief. Bear in mind that, although the texting was bad enough, a 'girlfriend' has no authority in making final arrangements, in lieu of actual relatives. So someone else is to blame for the lack of a memorial service or opportinity for your husband to pay a last visit.
I walked in those shoes when my sister died, so I understand how painful it is.
I believe the people involved in the decision making were trying to honor his wishes, and they had time to come to terms as they were intimately involved in the care giving. Unfortunately, there are other people not-so-intimately involved who are not being given the chance to "say good-bye" with the more traditional rituals of funeral/memorial service/shared meal.
It is giving me a lot to think about. The matter-of-fact, "well, he's gone, so let's all get along with our lives" just seems...not right.
Sigh. They are good people, too. Very odd situation.
To be fair, my family would have already started some kind of "Family Drama Family War" by this point, so maybe my husband's family is handling things better?
I probably need to be less judge-y!
rest well Grandpa Briggs.
"Please call asap -- SUPER IMPORTANT."
I understand there can be a "time and a place" but I don't think this situation qualified; my husband had just spoken with his father a few hours before, and there was no follow up to verify he had received the message (which he didn't get until late the next afternoon as he was preparing to head to the hospital for a difficult visit).
There are some serious hurt feelings at the moment, mixed with the grief.
And thank you for your kind thoughts!
Condolences to your husband for his loss.
When my Dad was in the hospital and not expected to live in March 2013 (he recovered from that illness and passed away in August last year) my little sister told Mom and our other sister she was keeping me updated. Yeah - she was texting all her updates to my landline. Of course, I never got any of those texts and Mom and our other sister thought I didn't care what was happening to Dad because I didn't respond. I did call the other sister and ask about Dad, but she assumed I knew everything that had been happening and didn't give me the full picture.
It wasn't until after Dad had passed away months later that it all got explained. Mom doesn't understand texting so she still doesn't get what happened. She and my older sister felt much better when they understood why I seemed oblivious to Dad's previous illness and the family problems that were going on at the time. If anyone had called me and explained exactly what was going on, I would have been there as quickly as I could drive down. As it was, I kept being told that I could come if I felt I needed to but otherwise don't bother - by the time I called to find what was going on because no once called me, they thought I just didn't give a shit. 
I don't get what kind of moron doesn't understand that texting to a landline is a waste of electrons. I've had this landline number for over 30 years, so she can't have thought it was a cell number. It's not as though I have ever once in my life texted anyone. I've made a big point to her family to not call me on my cell phone since I get no signal here at home. Anyone with two brain cells should be able to figure out that means texting is a waste of time!
