My admittedly off-beat contribution to the DU Porn thing ...

[riqster]

It's actually a skin care tip I picked up from an adult film actress back in the 90's. She was quite concerned about looking young, and was told that the appearance of aging skin is primarily because of the lessening of elasticity in our pores.

Her treatment worked very well, and I will pass it along to all of you; get an ear of white corn ( not yellow ) and rub it all over your skin, massaging firmly on those insufficiently flexible pores.

This is known as "Hard Pore Cornography".

[Suich]

1. ok, it made me laugh!

[riqster]

4. Aw, shucks. Thanks.

[pinboy3niner]

2. That's amaizeing

[riqster]

3. You know where corny jokes come from?

The Stalk brings them.

[steve2470]

5. such kernels of humor ! :p nt

[riqster]

6. Only those with ears can appreciate them.

[pinboy3niner]

7. A Wesson worth wearning

[riqster]

9. It's too oily in the morning for such a joke.

It is also too long: thus, it needs shortening.

[pinboy3niner]

8. If only it didn't make my skin so...flaky

[riqster]

10. Just listen to some Husker Du, it'll help.

[Xyzse]

11. That made me laugh.

Being the gullible, naive fool that I am.... I have to ask... Is that advice real?

[riqster]

12. It's an old joke that I dusted off for the OP.

I have no idea if actually doing it would be beneficial or not.

[Xyzse]

13. Oh, ok cool...

I was liable to try it for kicks and giggles.

[riqster]

14. Hey, if you do, let us know what happens.

[Xyzse]

15. Nah, I don't really do anything like that.

I just thought it might be fun to play with.

[pinboy3niner]

16. If you decide to try it, for best results...

...be sure to add some black pepper, a dash of lime juice and some butter.

[riqster]

17. You gonna cob an attitude?

[clarice]

27. Oh Deer. nt

[Xyzse]

18. Oooohhhh...

Lime juice as astringent, butter for moisture, I have no idea what the black pepper is for, other than spiciness.

[riqster]

19. Well, if ground coarsely, black pepper might work as an exfoliant.

[Xyzse]

20. There you go.

[Callmecrazy]

49. I tried it...

Asked my gf what she thought and she said I needed butter.

[riqster]

52. Were you all ears?

[clarice]

21. That's sweet !!! .nt

[riqster]

24. :-)

[clarice]

25. Rig...sorry to be a dummy....but what does that little sign :-) mean? nt

[riqster]

28. It's a smile emoticon.

this, without the fancy graphics.

[clarice]

31. Gotcha...thanks. nt

[Tuesday Afternoon]

22. ha. that was corny. lol ... and the bit about white vs yellow had me going. thanks. n/t

[riqster]

23. Glad you liked it. I heard that joke years ago, and that little bit of misdirection caught me, too.

[clarice]

26. Thought I would pop in to see if there were any new ones.nt

[riqster]

29. Only if the Reap-ublicans stay away.

[pinboy3niner]

30. Stop cribbing answers and being mealy-mouthed

That's no way to elevator the dialogue.

[riqster]

33. Bad puns are my stook in trade.

I look at critics with bale-ful eye.

[clarice]

32. Why can't the whole world live in hominy ?

[riqster]

34. Grit's a serious and eternal question.

Sheav-a knows I try.

[clarice]

35. Thanks...that was a-maize-ing

[clarice]

36. Sorry...I didn't see the amaizeing post at the top.nt

[clarice]

37. I can't just fritter my whole day away doing this. nt

[riqster]

38. This type of thing is ingrained in my psyche.

[clarice]

39. A the risk of seeming meal-y mouthed. I better get back to work or I'll be polenta of trouble.nt

[clarice]

40. Gotta make some bread...ya know?

[pinboy3niner]

41. Pone me when it's done, okay?

[clarice]

42. You must be a real gluten for punishment. nt

[pinboy3niner]

43. If you can't crust a master baker, who can you crust? nt

[clarice]

44. lol...very good. I'm sure that you are outstanding in your field. nt

[riqster]

46. One of many shocks you'll experience here.

[clarice]

54. Keep it up, I'm having a "ball".nt

[riqster]

55. Hope I can make some bread with all this corn.

[clarice]

56. Good !! you creamed me on that one. nt

[riqster]

57. I once got canned for being corny.

[clarice]

58. You're hot today! The IRS just called me..I told them "The chex in the mail" nt

[rug]

45. off beat

[riqster]

47. I was wondering when somebody would notice that.

Since the OP title referred to porn, I expected it sooner.

[rug]

48. My superego is in tatters.

[riqster]

50. Huh, huh. He said tatters.

Last edited Wed Jul 30, 2014, 10:26 PM - Edit history (1)

[rurallib]

51. better than using high fuctose porn syrup

[riqster]

53. Using the Kernel's secret recipe.