5 Reasons Why Donald Trump Is the Biggest Troll Alive

[IronLionZion]

Donald Trump has wiped his ass with money for so long, he thinks shittiness is synonymous with success. He wasn't born, he was laid into a solid gold eggshell to protect him from ever learning. And he never left. This would be fine if he wasn't such a colossal jerk. I've spent longer staring into the face of this Scrooge McFuck than anyone other than himself, and while millionaires laughing at everyone who has ever suffered is par for the elephant-hunting course, Trump does it because he likes the attention.

An Internet troll is someone connected to the greatest informational resource ever made who can think of nothing better to do than shit in it. But Trump is so much worse. He has enough money to live out any fantasy, and he spends it with the same motivations as a teenager webcamming dead baby jokes. He could build the dreams of random strangers, then have them destroyed without ever even looking, but that's his idea of work instead of play. These stories are way worse than the last time we looked at him. If George Lucas reremastered Star Wars entirely out of cock shots, it would be less blatant and expensive dickery.

#5. Trying to Bulldoze a Widow's Home for a Casino Limo Parking Lot

The goal of a troll isn't a Dr. Seuss book about monsters that excrete electronically, it's to make things worse for other people just to get a reaction. And Satan himself should have marched into Trump Tower demanding to tear up their contract when Donald double-dicked the concept of decency in 1993.

Trump didn't just want to bulldoze an elderly widow's home of 35 years for a casino limousine parking lot. Michelle Malkin reports that he had Atlantic City authorities try to condemn the widow's house so that he could take it for less than market value. It's just as well that his evil waiting area failed, because that's the sort of shit where even Mammon is embarrassed to be seen visiting you. Even the bad guys from Up were building an actual building, not a dark and heat-blasted shrine to everything wrong with capitalism.

http://www.cracked.com/blog/5-reasons-why-donald-trump-biggest-troll-alive/

I didn't know people could be so evil. He should definitely run for president on a puppy punching platform.

[pipi_k]

1. He also has

troll hair...

[csziggy]

2. "he looks like someone genetically engineered a haggis to scream like a bagpipe."

It's especially weird that he could hate Scotland when he looks like someone genetically engineered a haggis to scream like a bagpipe.

Read more: http://www.cracked.com/blog/5-reasons-why-donald-trump-biggest-troll-alive_p2/#ixzz2zTCe4g47